Salvation Book One
by SammyGal123
Summary: Marian, a blood mage and Anders, loosely called abomination, find love and understanding in each other, however because of their choices, there are going to be serious repercussions. Please read the Introduction for a detailed understanding of where I hope to take this story.
1. Salvation Book One Chapter One

**Introduction****  
**

In this story, I strive to explore the darker side of magic (Marian being a blood mage) and how I perceive the dangers thereof and the repercussions of the path she chose. She struggles to maintain the balance between dark and light.

She meets Anders who is an abomination, however loosely the term is, and they fall in love. This is their story told from their points of view. Book one being told from Marian's POV. There will possibly be a Book Two in which I will write from Anders' POV.

**Authors Note**

Please note that this story is not related to Forever and Always.

**DISCLAIMER**

I do not own the characters, locations, plots and some dialogue I may use as they remain the property of BIOWARE, however the story is of my own creation.

* * *

**Salvation Book One – **_**Marian**_ _**by SammyGal123**_

_**Prologue**_

I stare at the blank piece of parchment in front of me and for the life of me, I don't know how to write what I need to say to my husband. I glance at the bed and he is fast asleep. It is nearly midnight and all is quite. I turn, once again to my blank piece of parchment. My throat closes and a single tear rolls down my cheek and splatters onto the parchment. I pick up my feathered pen...

_My love..._

And I pause... I pause to reflect back on the last three years of my life...

_**Chapter One**_

_**Darktown**_

"So you are quite willing to enlist the assistance of a mage we know nothing about, Marian?" asks Carver.

I sigh in exasperation and whirl around to face him. The resentment is evident in his blue eyes and he puffs out his chest like a little boy who is preparing for an argument. I step away from him and nearly tread on Aveline's foot. She sidesteps me and I stumble, but I am able to steady myself. I assess my surroundings and I can't help scrunching my nose in disgust. We are in _Darktown_ – home to many refugees – and there is a distinct smell of human waste on the air and there is also a yellow mist wafting up from the mines deep below us. I glance at Aveline who is shaking her head in annoyance. She always has to intervene when my brother and I are at each other's throats and today is no different. I fold my arms and lift my chin defiantly at him. He is seven years younger than me but that doesn't mean he can intimidate me.

"What is to you, Carver? If you don't want to be here, then you are most welcome to leave," I mutter. I cannot hide my irritation and exasperation, and I let him know by rolling my eyes at him.

"Mmm...You would like that, wouldn't you, Sister?" he replies.

"Yes...I would actually, but we are here, so you might as well tag along or hide in my shadow if you so wish," I reply.

I turn away from him, and nearly bump into Varric who is trying his best not to laugh. He is a dwarf, with light brown eyes that are full of humour and light brown hair and the one thing that stands out, is that he carries a crossbow named Bianca. I want to laugh at the memory of him telling us her name when we first met him on our way out of _Bartrand's Office_ about a week ago. Since then, he has become an invaluable companion because he knows what is going on in _Kirkwall_ and he knows where to find employment and as far as I and he was concerned, he is the eyes and ears of _Kirkwall_.

"So, Marian, are we going to see if we can find him? Lirene said we should look for the lit lanterns," he politely reminds me although there is in humour in his eyes.

"I haven't forgotten," I murmur as I move away from them. I crane my neck to see if there are any lit lanterns in the distance and I notice one.

"Over there," I murmur.

I turn back to them and pull my sleeves down to hide my scars. Scars I inflicted on myself to fuel my blood magic. A decision I didn't take lightly. I find I cannot meet their gazes. They are all aware that I use blood magic, but I never openly admitted it. I was twenty two at the time. My father died and I was coping with his loss that consumed me. I figured blood magic would be the answer so one evening, I disappeared into a barn not from our home in Lothering and I slit my wrists. I made no deal with a demon, but the relief I felt was so empowering and as my blood rose in a haze around me, I felt alive. I shake my head to rid myself of the memory. It was a decision I was coming to regret with each passing day.

"Mari?" says Aveline as she touches my arm.

"Um...Yes...I...Let's keep moving," I murmur distractedly.

I wander ahead of them, ever aware of them speaking in low tones about me and everyone I pass, eyes me with great suspicion. I am beginning to think it was a mistake coming here in search of a Grey Warden who may choose not to assist me. The thought saddens me because I am in great need of someone's assistance. Not just for sovereigns. I need someone to heal and soothe me and I thought it would be unlikely finding anyone remotely like that because who in their right mind could ever love a blood mage such as myself? I hang my head in shame and deep sorrow. I don't notice where I am going until I notice a wooden door. I slowly raise my eyes. There are in fact two doors and above each of them are two lit lanterns. I smile at the oddly comforting feeling they exude and my heart gives an excited flutter. The man – Anders – in there could very well be the one I am looking for. I give myself a mental shake... I shouldn't be thinking like this. I glance behind me and they have just ascended the stairs. Carver is as sullen as a little boy and Aveline is as stern as the Reverend Mother back in _Lothering_. The only friendly and relaxed face is Varric. He gives me an encouraging smile. He is the only one who doesn't make me feel as if I have committed a crime unlike my brother and sometimes my Mother who has not forgiven me for the tragic death of my younger sibling – Bethany. I give myself another mental shake and as I am about to open the door, Aveline reaches for my arm. I turn towards her. The concern is evident in her eyes and it takes all my willpower not to throw my arms around her. In spite of being stern, she is the only person I trust enough to speak to. I told her months ago what I did. She was furious at first, but she came to understand and now at this stage of our friendship, I always went to her if I needed to speak about my current situation and the problems I have back at Gamlen's house with my brother and mother. I spent many nights at the _Barracks_ bunking down with her and the rest of the guardsman. I gaze into her eyes and I quickly look away. There is so much concern and it is all for me.

"Hey," she murmurs. "We really don't have to do this, Mari. If you would rather think about it first, then do so."

I vehemently shake my head. "I don't have much choice."

"There is always a choice, Mari. You just have to find it and make the right decision," she says.

"He is our only hope, Aveline, otherwise we might as well pull out of this expedition," I whisper.

She releases my arm and gives me an encouraging smile. "Whatever you decide, I will stand by you."

I nod my thanks and I take a deep breath. I rest my hand on the wooden door knob. I glance at her again and she gives me another encouraging smile. I manage to return her smile, but it doesn't feel genuine. I turn the door knob and to my surprise, it turns easily and the door swings open and the first thing I notice is the smell of Lyrium...and there is something else, but I cannot place my finger on it. I hesitantly enter the room and I quickly look around. I notice five small makeshift cots that have seen better days. There is also a desk against the right wall covered with papers and books and towards the back of the room, there is another wooden door. I assume it leads to a bedroom or something like that. I look around a second time and for the first time I notice a distinct humming sound. I know that sound all too well. It is the sound of a mage in action and I follow the sound. I hold my breath at the sight I see – a man not older than me is surrounded in a blue energy. It pulsates around him and his hands are glowing brightly – the same blue as the energy I noticed earlier. I look at his hands as he moves them along the young boy's body. I hear the distinct crack of bone mending itself, but what catches my eye – as I trail my gaze up towards his face – is the deep concentration on his face, whilst he heals the young boy. I take the opportunity to study him – he has light brown hair. I realise by his hands that he is smaller than my brother. I travel my eyes from his hands up his forearms to his biceps – he is a strong man and I can imagine being held in them. I squash that thought immediately. Unfortunately, I cannot clearly see his face, but in front of me, he falters briefly, shoulders drooping. I realise he is tiring. I step further into the room just as he turns away. I watch the young boy open his eyes. He looks confused and disorientated and a woman – his mother, I assume – embraces him.

"My boy...Thank the Maker," she murmurs.

"Mother?" he says softly.

"Thank the Maker," she murmurs as she helps him to his feet.

I notice another man and I realise it is the boy's Father. He approaches the mage who is leaning heavily against the wall with his back to us. He briefly acknowledges the man. The man moves away and joins his wife and son. I study the back of this mage and he appears fairly strongly. His chest is broad and his hips are narrow. To me it looks like the perfect male body. My gaze lingers on his buttocks and butterflies flutter in my stomach. Something catches my eye – he moves and closes his hand over his staff – a steel staff with a blue globe at the top – which I only noticed now and he whips around, holding both his hands in a defensive stance. I step back. I don't bother hiding my alarm. He looks ready to attack us. I search his face and I rest my gaze on the gentlest pair of light brown eyes I have ever seen, yet I can't help noticing a blue tinge around the irises or the fact that blue wisps of energy are floating from his fingers – which are slender – in tendrils. He quietly assesses me and from where I am standing, it appears he wants to smile. His face is beautiful, yet there is something else as if he is hiding something. He wouldn't be the only one. I smile at the thought, but that smile is wiped off my face as soon as he steps forward.

"I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation. Why...do...you...threaten...it?"

His voice is soft and very Fereldan, yet there is a note of warning that says _please-don't-come-any-closer_. I take another step back for fear that he might shoot fire and ice at me and I don't understand why he should feel so threatened. I was not going to harm him... _I am a blood mage_. I close my eyes and I ignore that unwelcome thought. I re-open them and search his face for any sign of aggression, but all I see is fear...mingled with curiosity. Summoning my courage, I take a deep breath and step closer to him. He does not waiver his stance and again I want to smile. He looks ridiculous but the warning in his eyes is pretty clear.

"I...I mean you no harm...I would just like to speak to you," I say slowly, softly and to my relief, his lips curl into a small smile.

He lowers his staff and loses his defensive stance. I take courage from that and I close the distance between us, but he holds up his hands and I come to a standstill. I search his face again and I notice dark circles around his eyes. It makes me frown. It looks as if he hasn't slept properly in months and I wonder why. He offers me another smile and it reaches his eyes and it warms my heart. My first instinct is to close the distance completely and embrace him. He looks like he needs a lot of loving. I shake my head at myself. I don't know him, yet for some inexplicable reason, I want him to be mine, but that thought is pushed to the back of my mind as soon as Varric pushes in front of me. I roll my eyes in annoyance and exasperation.

"Rumour has it you were once a Grey Warden...We are wondering if you perhaps know of a way?" he asks in his booming voice.

Anders folds his arms across his chest and raises an eyebrow. "Why? Did the Wardens send you to bring me back? If they did I am not going... They made me get rid of my cat, Ser Pounce-a-lot. He hated the Deep Roads."

I cannot hide my smile from him this time. He has a soft spot for cats, of all creatures. _Why not a Mabari Hound or something similar?_ My heart softens a bit more and I push past the dwarf, not caring if he stumbles. I stand in front of Anders and look him straight in the eye. He appears surprised, but he lowers his eyes to my wrists and I gulp. My sleeves have ridden up exposing the fresh scars from our recent tussle with a few thugs in Lowtown two nights ago. I quickly pull my sleeves down, take a step back and stand tall in defiance. I narrow my eyes. _Is he going to judge me like so many others? Is he going_ _to turn his back on me? Why am I even thinking like this?_ Maker only knows. He raises his eyes and gently probes my eyes and relief washes over me when I notice no fear in his eyes. All I see is curiosity...and concern. I offer him a smile that he returns enthusiastically and I relax completely.

I chuckle. "You had a cat in the Deep Roads?"

"So you find that amusing, don't you?" he murmurs. "I guess you didn't expect to hear that from an ex Grey Warden."

I am almost certain he is laughing at me and my chuckle gets lost somewhere in my throat. We stare at each, summing up each other and for no reason at all, I blush.

"No...It's unexpected, that I won't deny," I reply and his eyes sparkle with humour.

He is laughing at me, the bastard. He grins at me as if reading my thoughts and my blush deepens and that is when I feel it. I cannot break eye contact with him as the air between and around us sizzles and crackles. He feels it to because a slow blush spreads across his cheeks. He quickly clears his throat.

"What is your name?" he asks and just like that, the moment is gone and it leaves my quite breathless.

"I...I am Marian Amell-Hawke. Mari to my close friends...and family," I reply.

He closes the distance between us and before I realise what is happening, he reaches for my hand. He gently squeezes it and that gesture sends my nerves tingling all the way along my spine and...I take a deep breath as a strange sensation in the pit of my stomach implodes warming me from the inside out and in its wake, leaves me aching and yearning for far more.

"I am very pleased to meet you, Marian Amell-Hawke," he murmurs, enunciating every syllable in such a way that leaves me breathless and it increases my yearning. So much so, it is almost painful, but in a pleasant way. He gently massages my knuckles and his touch does several things to me. My heart rate escalates. My blush deepens and more than anything I want to be anywhere, except here. Even the _Hanged Man_ sounds tempting for a change. I want to release his hand, but he has entwined our fingers. I glance at them and it looks and feels...right. The way he is holding my hand as if I am the most precious gift in the world. He continues massaging my knuckles with his thumb. It makes me wonder what else he can do with his thumb. I force myself to meet his gaze and his eyes are beautiful. They are soulful and gentle and I realise that he will never harm me intentionally or otherwise. I trust him. I don't know him, yet I trust him. I take another deep breath and gently disentangle my hand from his warm one. I don't realise the loss of warmth until that moment. I am tempted to reach for his hand again, but I take a discreet step away from him.

"So, you had a cat in the Deep Roads? What happened to him?" I ask, amused.

"Hey, he was no ordinary cat. He was a gift from a friend, a noble beast. A genlock almost ripped him in half once. He swatted the bugger on the nose. He drew blood too," he replies as he puffs out his chest in what I can only assume is pride.

I want to laugh and I do. Without really realising what I am doing, I close the distance between us and I reach for his hands. He takes in a small breath of air and slowly exhales. He pulls me that bit closer and again, I feel it, that same crackling and sizzling of the air around us.

"He definitely sounds like no ordinary cat. A noble beast, that's for sure. What happened to him?"

He looks away from me and releases my hands. I notice the sadness in his eyes and it makes me want to reach out to him, but he has just folded his arms and my thoughts of reaching out for him, for his hands that made me feel so safe and warm not two seconds ago, disappears.

"The Wardens thought he made me too soft, so I gave him to a good friend of mine in Amaranthine," he replies and I frown.

I don't bother hiding it_. Is that why he came here? To this Maker-forsaken city? To this city where I don't feel safe because of all the_ t_emplars roaming about?_ I find that I cannot believe him. There must be more to it and I am going to find out.

"Is that why you came to Kirkwall? To flee the Wardens?" I skeptically ask, folding my arms. He steps back, affronted and perhaps offended. I instantly regret my words.

"Because I certainly don't want to be here..." I murmur.

I catch Carver's eye and he is scowling...as usual, yet I detect animosity in his stance and that should come as no surprise either. He resents me for what I am. He resents me for landing us in this dump as he so politely told me a couple of months ago after I quit working for the _Red Iron Mercenaries_. I lost the taste for killing innocent people and I was paid pittance for my efforts. I confronted their leader, Meeran, and he flat out refused to pay me more, so I walked out. Carver recently left for maker knows what reason. I did not care. All I care about is this expedition and it is everything to me. It is the only way I can give my Mother the home and life she deserves. Carver does not agree with me, but then he never agrees with me on anything. I break my gaze with him and I focus my attention on Anders who is frowning. He obviously noticed something pass between my brother and me

"Anders?" I prompt and his jaw drops.

"You...You know who I am?" he murmurs.

"Oh...Yes...Of course I know who you are. Lirene said you were an excellent healer and she told us where to find you," I reply.

He smiles. "Of course she told you and it must have been easy to convince her because you are Fereldan."

"I laugh. Yes, I grew up in Ferelden..." I don't finish my sentence. The memories are too painful and I look away from him lest he sees my tears that are slowly falling. I want to be alone with my thoughts and I turn away from him and a pair of arms wraps themselves around me. I gaze up and into the concerned green eyes of Aveline.

"Mari?" she murmurs. I shake my head and quickly wipe my tears with the corner of my sleeves.

"I will be fine," I murmur. I sigh and take a few deep breaths.

"Just...Relax," she murmurs.

"I am trying... It doesn't help that _he_ keeps scowling at me," I murmur, motioning to my brother who is as impassive as ever. No sign of emotion whatsoever on his face except for the perpetual scowl.

"He's a tit, Mari, and besides, Anders," she says. At the mention of his name, I turn around. He is frowning and there is utmost concern in his eyes and I instinctively move towards him.

"I...I apologise. Where were we?"

"Yes...You say that like it is a small thing...Yes, I am here because there is _no_ Warden outpost, _no_ Darkspawn and a whole host of refugees to blend in with and some reasons of my own," he replies. _Reasons of his own? What does he mean?_

"But I thought...Well, I was led to believe that joining the Wardens was for life," I murmur.

"That is the common misconception. It is not for life unless you choose it to be so, however, that is only partly true. The _hopelessly tainted by the Darkspawn _and _plagued by nightmares about the Archdemon _parts don't go away, but it turns out that if you hide well, you don't have to wear the uniforms or go to the parties," he replies, amused and I laugh and to my surprise, he laughs with me and I instantly feel better. I decide to tell him why I am here because it is going to come up, regardless.

"Anders, I am part of an expedition into the Deep Roads. Any information or assistance you could provide us, will be useful," I say.

He frowns. "Why does a beautiful woman such as you want to venture into the Deep Roads?" he asks and my heart sinks. Why should he care? I turn away from him and glare at Varric.

"You told me he would help...He does not want to. Is there no other way?" I am close to tears and I am frustrated. He promised he would be our answer and now crushing disappointment sweeps through me.

"I really thought he would help. This is obviously a waste of time... Let's go back to the tavern and clear our heads over a couple of tankards of mead... Perhaps we can find another way," he suggests. I glance at Aveline who is once again watching me with concern and this time, I don't care. I launch myself into her arms.

"You know where there is a will there is a way, Mari...Perhaps Varric is right. Perhaps we all need to clear our heads and get drunk with it," she says.

"I would like to see you get drunk," I murmur as I shrug free of her arms. "Let's go."

I hang back while the others go on ahead. The temptation to turn around is overwhelming, but I straighten myself, fling my shoulders back and follow them, but as I am about to exit into Darktown, a warm hand closes over my wrist. I gasp – the tingle I feel is overwhelming. I want to turn around and kiss him senseless.

"Wait," he says softly. I slowly turn around as he closes the door, separating me from my companions and I glare at him. He has no right. I attempt freeing my wrist, but he tightens his hold, however it is not painful...It is strangely soothing and a great sense of calm washes over me.

"For what?" I snap. If he appears surprised, he doesn't show it. Instead he smiles at me. The bastard smiles at me and I want to scream out my frustration, instead, I roll my eyes.

"You look extremely attractive when you do that," he says. I cannot believe what I have just heard. I gape at him. Words seemed to have failed me, but a warm glow spreads through me and I know I am going to blush and I do. My ears are burning as are my cheeks, and I attempt to break eye contact with him, but I simply cannot. His eyes are flickering with emotion...Some intense emotion and there is also conflict in them. He lets out a soft sigh.

"I did not mean to upset you, a while ago and I apologise. It was not my intention, but I have a suggestion. How about a favour for a favour? You help me and I will help you. Does that perhaps sound like a fair deal?"

"I...Anders... Help my expedition reach the Deep Roads and I will do whatever you need," I reply without really thinking about what he has on offer.

"Mmm...You offer your assistance freely, without asking for my terms..." he murmurs as he gazes into my eyes. "What if I was asking for the Knight-Commander's head on a spike?"

My eyes widen and then I smile. "I might consider that, but is that what you ask?"

"Really, now? You decide," he replies as he gently releases my arm. I step away from him and pull my sleeve all the way over my hands and I fold my arms.

"Somehow I hear a _but_ in there," I comment. He smiles at me and folds his arms to.

"Well, I do have a map of the depths in this area, but there is a price..." he says.

"And what might that be?"

"Would you like to bring them in? I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or uneasy," he suggests. I am surprised by his concern. I vehemently shake my head. I want to be alone with him and I have wanted that since I walked in half-an-hour ago. I am not about to bring them in so that they can bombard the man. He seems to understand because he points to his desk.

"You may sit," he murmurs.

"No thanks... So what is your price?" I ask, cutting to the chase.

He smirks. "Well, the reason I came to _Kirkwall_ was to aid a friend, a mage, a prisoner in the wretched Gallows. The templars learned of my plans to free him. Help me bring them safely past them and you shall have your maps."

"Tell me about your friend," I prompt and for a brief moment, pain flickers across his face, but it disappears just as quickly, leaving me wondering if I imagined it.

"His name is Karl Theckla. He was sent here from Ferelden when Kirkwall's Circle required new talent. His last letter said the Knight-Commander was turning the Circle into a prison. Mages are locked in their cells, refused appearances at courts, made tranquil for the slightest crimes. I told him I would come," he explains. I search his face for any further information, but all I notice is that same flicker of pain and I wonder if Karl was more than just a friend once before. The thought does not please me one bit. He reaches for my hand and I give it to him willingly and I entwine our fingers. He leans towards me and I catch a faint smell of Lyrium and I also smell wood and grass and I feel heart sore. He smells of home and I cannot stop myself from leaning towards him. He is close, I feel his breath on my lips and his smell intensifies. I instinctively curl my hand around some of his clothing. His shirt is so soft and warm in my hand and I flatten my hand against his chest. He slowly exhales. I close my eyes, expecting his kiss...and it comes. It is tentative, curious, teasing and it feels so right and before it goes any further, he breaks off the kiss, leaving me bereft and weak at the knees. I stumble and lean heavily against the door. My heart is thumping loudly and the blood is rushing to my head, making me feel quite faint. I close my eyes and will myself to calm down and I do. I open my eyes and notice that he has seated himself at his desk. I approach him and I notice he has loosened two buttons of his shirt. He is affected as I am, and I stop a good few feet away from him.

"Are these accusations true?"

"Yes...Ask any mage in Kirkwall. Over a dozen of them were made tranquil last year. The more people you ask, the worse the rumours become," he replies just as huskily and it sends tingles through me. I step that much closer. I want to feel him again.

"What do the templars know of your plans?"

"I...I don't know. I had been exchanging notes with Karl through a maidservant in the Gallows. Then the letters stopped coming," he replies. He can't look at me either. Oh yes, he is very affected, but that doesn't prevent me from reaching for his hand that is resting on his desk. He looks up at me and then at the door at the far end of his clinic. He makes a decision, stands and leads me into what is his bedroom. It is untidy. The bed isn't made. The sheets are twisted as if he had a bad night's sleep. I glance at him and the circles seem that more noticeable now that he has lit a lantern. He realises I am watching him, because he turns towards me.

"I apologise for the mess, but I don't have time to clean up after myself. I have too many patients and my day seems never-ending and to make matters worse, I don't sleep too well," he murmurs and he proceeds to tidy up his room. I cannot wait for him to tell me to sit, but where would I sit anyway? The bed is the only option and maker knows what is going to happen if I should sit, but I find that I don't care and I set about making his bed. I remove the sheets and give them a good shake.

"You don't have to this, you know," he murmurs. I glance at him, leaning against the door. He has an amused look on his face.

"I know...I want to. I can't have you sleeping on this," I reply.

"Why should it be of any concern to you?" he asks. I decide to ignore his question as I quickly tuck in his sheets. I fluff his pillows and one in particular catches my eye. It is embroidered with a floral pattern and the flowers look very similar to Andraste's Grace – blue flowers found only in Ferelden and they are my favourite.

"My Mother made this for me when I was a boy," he murmurs as he plucks it out of my hands.

"It's beautiful, Anders. Are those-?"

"Andraste's Grace? Yes. They were...are my Mother's favourite. I wouldn't know anymore," he murmurs as he places it back on his bed. I frown at his comment, but decide now is not the time to ask him personal questions. I think back to what we were actually discussing and the pain I noticed in his eyes at the mention of Karl comes flooding back.

"Anders, this friend of yours... Karl...He is-?" I let my question hang.

"Ex lover, Mari," he murmurs. He glances quickly at me. "Marian..." he corrects himself. I shake my head.

"I prefer Mari, to be quite honest... Ex lover, you say?"

He sits on the bed and points to the spot next to him. I sit, resting my hands on my thighs, but he reaches for my hand and entwines our fingers.

"Thank you for making my bed... It has not seen a woman's touch in...I don't think it has ever seen a woman's touch," he whispers.

"I...I really...It's a pleasure," I whisper.

"You asked about Karl... We were lovers for six months," he hastily explains.

"What happened?"

"He was transferred from the Fereldan Circle to the Circle here," he replies.

"Mmm...Tell me, how do you intend breaking him out of the _Gallows_?" I ask as I pick lint off his sleeve. My sleeves have ridden up again and I hope he doesn't notice, but he does.

"I hope it won't come to that. I am to meet him in the _Chantry_ tonight. Maker willing, he will be there, alone, but if there are templars with him, I swear, I will free him, whatever the cost," he replies and for a brief moment, his eyes flash blue, but it passes as soon as he turns my wrist towards him and for no reason, tears trickle down my cheeks. He is too close to me. He gently thumbs my wrist and the intensity and gentleness of his touch frightens me.

"Anders...Please...Please...Don't," I murmur. He gazes at me, saying nothing and he pushes my sleeves all the way past my elbows. I don't look because I know what he will find and that is very fine scars from all the cuts I inflicted on myself to fuel my magic. The most recent being the ones on my wrists.

"Hey, please look at me," he murmurs. I look at him and in his eyes is a tenderness I have never known...or seen. Not even my Mother looks at me in this way. She looks at me with fear in her eyes and my brother is an arse who only cares about himself.

"Mmm...You know, you really have beautiful skin," he murmurs. I gape at him in surprise. The last thing I expected was a compliment.

"I...I don't...How can I? Just look," I whisper as I look at my arms. My scars are gone and I quickly look at him and before I realise it, I wrap my arms around him.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"I won't ask why you have chosen this path, but what I want to ask you is if there are any others," he whispers as he gently pushes me away.

"All over and please don't ask me too explain. The memory still haunts me," I murmur.

"I promise not to ask you until you tell me otherwise," he says softly and to my surprise, he pulls me back into his arms. I feel safe for a brief moment and then I gently extricate myself out of his warm embrace. I stand and wander towards the door. I turn around and lean against it, folding my arms across my chest.

"So, you want to make your friend an apostate?"

"That is such a weighted term, Marian...Yes, Andraste said that magic must serve man, not rule over him, but I have yet to find a mage who wants to rule anything. It goes against no will of the Maker for mages to lives as free as other men," he replies and I am surprised at the passion in his voice. He feels strongly about the way we are treated. I feel much the same.

"Hey, I feel forcing mages into servitude is not the way to prevent the rise of another Imperium," I say and the surprise is evident in his eyes. He was obviously not expecting that answer, but that is how I feel. Locking us up is not the answer.

"Well, that is not the response I usually get. Most people end up arguing with me... Perhaps we will work together better than expected," he murmurs. I push myself away from the door and I reach for his hands and I pull him to his feet. I am surprised by my own strength and we bump heads.

"Ouch," he yelps as he stumbles backwards, and I reach out for him again, but I stumble and we collapse onto his bed with me on top of him and I laugh. This is ridiculous. I gaze at him from under my lashes and he is furiously massaging his forehead.

"Whatever next?" I murmur.

He smiles at me and he does something unexpected. He pulls me upwards, wraps an arm around me and rolls with me until I am trapped beneath his body. I take a deep breath. I can feel every hard place on his body and he feels so warm and comfortable. I touch his cheek. His eyes darken and he leans towards me. I curl my hand around the nape of his neck. He leans closer. My breathing hitches and my heart rate escalates. He pauses a mere inch from my lips. _Just kiss me..._ He cups my face and he kisses me. He gently probes and I open for him. With a soft sigh, he delves into my mouth and I respond. I am surprised, but I respond... I fist my hands through his hair, locking him in place and he deepens our kiss. He rolls with me until I am straddling him and the erection I feel beneath me, forces me back to the here and now. I hastily scramble off him and I back towards the door. I must look a sight. I feel a sight. His hair is dishevelled. His eyes are bright. His cheeks are flushed and I more than likely look the same. I travel my eyes the length of his body and when I rest them on his tented pants, my ache intensifies. I am not so naïve, although I never had any serious boyfriends as a teenager. Most of them thought I was a novelty being a mage. I have kissed a couple of times but I have never made love to a man. I shake my head and he grins. He stands and saunters towards me. I back even further into the door. He rests his hands on either side of me. I stare directly into his eyes.

"Maker..." I murmur in voice that sounds foreign to my ears and I blush. "I would help any mage in such circumstance, map or no."

"Really? Because it appears you are trying to get onto my good side," he says softly.

"Why? Is there a bad side?" I snap. His expression darkens and I instantly regret my words. I look away from him.

"I...I apologise...I know how that must have sounded."

He cups my cheek and turns me towards him. "Well, let me put it simply – it is as bad as your side."

I stare at him, trying to understand what he means. I don't find an answer, so I grin at him and before I realise it, he has pressed himself into me and he kisses me. I sag and he wraps strong arms around my waist.

"I welcome your aid, Marian. Meet me at the _Chantry_ tonight at ten and we will ensure that we all walk away free," he murmurs just as he kisses me again. I cannot reply because he is seeking entrance. He is in fact demanding it and I grant him entrance. Our tongues meet and a wild dance begins. I nibble his bottom lip and he groans. I feel his hands sliding under my skirt and I moan low in my throat. I have to push him away before it goes too far, but I don't want to. He makes me feel safe and warm. His hands are on my hips under my skirt. He hooks his fingers into my smalls. I feel his erection digging into me and, Maker help me, I want him, but common sense prevails and I turn away from him. He sighs as I rest my head on his chest. He is a head and shoulders taller than me. I place my hands on his chest and I feel the muscles tense. I look at him and he is watching me. With great reluctance, I gently push him away.

"I need to go," I whisper.

"Please stay... I...I don't want you to go," he murmurs.

"I...I don't want to go either, but I have to... My companions are probably concerned," I murmur knowing that is far from the truth.

"Please? For a little longer?" he implores and I smile at him.

"I can't...I will see you later...I promise," I murmur as I duck under his arm. I fumble at his door, but it opens and I stumble out into his Clinic. I bolt for the door and step out into _Darktown_ without a backward glance even though the pull to return to him is so great, yet I resist. I find the nearest exit and I step out into the midday sun and I take slow, deep breaths. My nerves are well and truly shattered and I need to speak to someone. I bypass home and I step into the rowdiness of the _Hanged Man_. I search around for familiar faces and I find them, but the person I most want to see, is not here. She has obviously returned to the Barracks. I make my way to the table and I sit down heavily in the seat next to Varric who raises a questioning eyebrow at me.

"And?" he asks.

"He needs us to assist him with a personal matter at ten tonight in the _Chantry_ before he is willing to give us his Maps," I reply.

"Excellent... One step in the right direction, Marian...Would you like a drink?" he asks. I nod and avoid the questioning and angry gaze of my brother. I don't want to deal with him now, not while my emotions are jumbled up and confused. It's a dangerous combination for a mage to feel like this. There is no telling what will happen or what I will do.


	2. Salvation Book One Chapter Two

_**Chapter Two**_

I glance at my brother over my third tankard of ale and he is still scowling at me. He has been scowling at me since I walked in here four hours ago and I am tired of it. I have a sip of my drink and I slam the tankard on the table, making Varric and Carver jump in their seats. This only aggravates my brother more. He is nearly purple in the face from trying to keep his temper in control and he has a temper that is enough to send rats scurrying away.

"Is something bothering you, Carver?" I say quietly.

"Yes..." he replies, barely keeping the bite out of his voice. It is enough to make me flinch, but I will not be intimidated by him. He intimidated my sister into submission and I will not allow him to do the same to me, although he has tried...and failed on more than one occasion... Yes he is extremely hot-headed, but his anger is nothing compared to the anger he brings out in me. I barely manage to keep myself under control during this time and it is not easy because it is so easy for me to use my gift of magic to defend myself, but my Father always taught me not to allow it to get the best of me. He said I must get the best of it. He told me on numerous occasions that _magic must serve that which is best in me, not that which is most base_. If only he knew what I had done. He would probably turn in his grave. He also taught me about the dangers of blood magic, not that his lessons meant anything to me in the days after he died after suffering some illness that not even I could heal. I lower my eyes from Carver's ice blue ones and I look at my hands that have twisted themselves together and a lone tear slides down my cheek. He has no idea what I live with. He has no idea the nightmares I have of demons and abominations. My Mother suspects I have nightmares, but she is too wrapped up in her own grief to even care about me. The only person who is aware of my nightmares is Aveline. She spent many nights when I slept at the Barracks, soothing me and looking after me as only a close friend can. She is the only one who knows about the dark place that haunts me in my sleep.

"Then what is?" I murmur.

He has another sip of his drink. "Did you bed him?"

I gape at him. I can't believe what I have just heard. How dare he insinuate when he is the one who eagerly beds anyone who is willing.

"How dare you make an accusation such as that, Carver," I snap.

"Ah...You did, didn't you? Tell me, what was it like screwing a mage?" he quietly asks. I hear a sharp intake of breath and I glance around my table only to realise it is me. Varric has lost his smile and all humour has disappeared from his eyes. I stand and straighten my shoulders.

"It has nothing to do with you what I did or didn't do, Carver. You do not own me and don't think for one minute, you have got the better of me, because you haven't," I snap. I am ready to shoot fire and ice at him. My mana is already stirring as is my blood. I close my eyes in an effort to calm down, but all I see is a bloody haze punctuated by a white light.

"So you did? I knew it... I knew it from the moment we walked into that place he calls a Clinic, that you would bed him," he snaps and I nearly lose it. I open my eyes and for some reason, I glance at the door. He is leaning against the door watching us...His eyes are firmly trained on me and I feel a pull. I throw back the rest of my drink, glare at Carver and I walk away. I have hardly neared the door, when Anders reaches for my hand and he pulls me out into the fast fading light of day. He leads me to a corner behind the tavern and he backs me up against the wall.

"Anders?" I murmur.

"I have done nothing except think about you since you left my clinic this afternoon," he whispers. He slips his arms around my waist and lifts me slightly. I waste no time in kissing him. He presses himself into me and his warmth and security causes my tension to fade away. I nibble his lip, his chin, his jaw before I lock lips with him again and he groans.

"Maker, I want you," I blurt out and I bite my lip as soon as the words have left my mouth. I can't believe what I have just said. He grins down at me before he kisses me. He hoists me higher up and I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist. I feel his erection straining against his pants. He rains kisses along my jawline, my cheeks, and my neck where he nibbles and suckles. I have been marked by him that is certain and I don't mind. If I had my way I would mark him in much the same way, but that would mean a lifetime bond. A joining of two mage souls. The idea sounds most appealing, but I push it to the back of my mind and I seek out his mouth. I delve into him and our tongues dance wildly, but through the sounds of pleasure we are making, I hear the all too familiar heavy footfalls of my brother. I turn away from Anders and press my palms against the flat of his chest.

"Mari?" he murmurs.

"Put me down..." I urgently murmur. He frowns, but he sets me gently back onto my feet. I expect to collapse, but thankfully I don't. I walk past him, but he slips his arms around my waist. I stop and wait for the barrage of words Carver is going to throw at me. He is glowering. His eyes are dark and his hands are clenched into tight fists. I allow myself a brief moment to relax and gain my courage by leaning into Anders' warmth, but this annoys Carver.

"What are you doing, Marian? You don't know the man, yet you are ready to bed him...again. What is the matter with you?" he spits out as he stands staring down at me.

"You...do...not...own...me, Carver Hawke. You...never...have. I am not Bethany. I will not bow to you or anyone for that matter," I quietly say.

"You would bring her into it, wouldn't you? I see you are still trying to project some of the blame onto me," he says just as quietly. I swallow the lump that is threatening to overwhelm me.

"It was not my fault, she died, Carver. You could have prevented if you really wanted to, yet you allowed that ogre to capture her. It would have been better all around, if that ogre killed me... Then at least I wouldn't have to put up with you and you possessive jealousy or the pain I constantly live with..." _And the nightmares..._But I am not going to mention that. Anders tightens his arms around me and gently steers me away from him, but Carver grabs my arms and I lose it. I shrug out of the mage's arms and I release a bolt of energy at my brother. His eyes widen in surprise...and fear and I smirk as he stumbles backwards. He quickly rights himself and strides towards me.

"You little mage bitch," he says softly as he raises his arm...and swings and out of nowhere, Anders grabs his arm and shoves him away.

"Back off, Carver," he warns.

"She is my sister and she...belongs...to...me," he says softly.

"She belongs to no-one," says Anders. Carver scowls at us and then he turns and walks away, straight back to the tavern.

"Are you okay?" asks Anders. I shake my head. I am trembling and my legs give out. I sink slowly to the cold hard cement and I wrap my arms around myself...and my tears flow freely. I feel warm, strong arms gently lifting me. I instinctively wrap my arms around his neck and nestle into him. I can almost hear him smiling...If anything, marking him sounds most appealing. I open my eyes and look into his warm light brown eyes that are full of concern and some other emotion I can't place my finger on. He leans closer and kisses my forehead.

-o0o-

He lowers me onto his bed and moves away from me, leaving me bereft and cold. I open my eyes and seek him out. He is busy by a small fire. He fills a jug with water and fills the small pot, I have just noticed. I want to sit, but I feel drained emotionally and physically. I notice his Mother's pillow and I wrap my arms around it, holding it against my chest. I am...alone. My Mother hardly says two words to me and my brother made his hatred of me pretty clear. I stifle the sob that is threatening to burst forth and I attempt to deal with my intense pain and hurt at what my brother called me. _Mage bitch...Mage bitch..._ And I burst into tears. Anders is by my side, enfolding me in his arms before I even realise it and I rest my hand on his shoulder whilst he presses me into him. Through my tears, I hear the gentle thump-thump of his heart and I find it strangely comforting. He strokes my short black hair which must look a sight. I don't want to know what my face looks like.

"You look fine," he murmurs. I look at him in surprise.

"How do you know what I am thinking?" I murmur.

He smiles. "Lucky guess, I suppose."

"I find that difficult to believe," I murmur as I feel around for his mark and I find it right over the hollow of my neck. I notice the pulse beating in the hollow of his neck and the temptation to do the same to him is overwhelming. He lifts my chin and gently kisses me. I attempt to move away from his mouth, but he gently pushes me away. He looks at me with deep pain and sorrow in his eyes. He places his hand over the mark he gave to me and caresses it.

"I shouldn't have done this not until I told you my secret," he murmurs.

"But it's done...And I want to," I murmur.

"No...Not until you hear me out then you can decide. You might feel you can't be around me after I have told you," he says as he stands. I frown as he lifts the small pot off the fire. He brings it to a small table where there is only one cup. He pulls out a couple of herbs and leaves and he quickly makes some drink. I sniff the air and I smile. He is making tea and it smells divine. He gives it a few stirs and comes back towards me. He holds out his hand and I take the proffered cup from him.

"What about you?" I murmur as I tentatively sniff it. It smells delicious. He sits next to me and curls his hand over my thigh and I feel it in the pit of my stomach.

"We share," he replies. He makes a move to take the cup, but I shake my head. He drops his hand and he gives me sad look. I grin at him as I have a sip of his tea and it tastes delicious. It warms me from the inside out. I shift closer to him and offer the cup, but as he raises his hand, I shake my head.

"Allow me," I murmur. I raise the cup to his lips, much to his surprise, and he has a sip.

"Come," he murmurs as he pulls himself onto the bed and he leans against the wall. He takes the cup from me so that I can move and when I do, I ensure I am right next to him. I take the cup and he once again curls his hand over my thigh.

"Your brother appears to be quite the charmer," he comments and I laugh. The sarcasm is not lost on me.

"He is a hot-headed and brash young man. He is domineering. In short, he is an arse," I murmur.

"I don't want to offend you, Marian, but he is a right royal bastard," he says.

"I am not offended, Anders. I was being polite," I explain. I lower my eyes and stare into the cup of tea. The liquid is golden brown in colour. I smile as I have another sip.

"You know, you make an excellent cup of tea," I murmur.

"Thank you...It is my speciality... If you don't mind me asking, what are doing here in _Kirkwall_?" he says. I look at him and I don't bother hiding my pain.

"We fled _Lothering_ because of the darkspawn. I am sure you have heard about that... We lost everything, Anders. My sister died before we managed to escape. You heard what was said between my brother and me," I murmur.

"I am sorry for your loss, Mari... It must have been terrible. I know how much damage a darkspawn can do. I fought them for six months besides Queen Elyssa," he murmurs.

"You did?" I ask, surprised.

"Yes...It was she who conscripted me into the Grey Wardens at the behest of King Alistair. If it weren't for her, Maker knows where I would find myself," he replies. He looks away from me and by his drooping shoulders, I realise there is something else. Something he hasn't told me and I laugh at the thought. Why would he tell me? We have only known each other for a few hours. He looks at me then and reaches for my hand that has been inching closer to his muscular thigh.

"I spent six months in Amaranthine, Mari, being a loyal follower and companion," he says. I search his face wondering if he had a fling with her and again, I don't understand why the mere thought of his hands on another woman bothers me so much.

"I met someone...A fellow Grey warden...Well, actually it was just his body... A fade spirit named Justice inhabited the body of Kristoff and he became a loyal follower," he continues. Fade spirit? Again, I am confused.

"He mentioned to me on one of our travels if it ever occurred to me to fight for the freedom of mages. I told him _no_. He said he would help me. He said once the body he inhabited became unsightly – and it did become unsightly. There's nothing like a walking corpse to keep you on your toes – he would need a new host," he continues. He slides off the bed with catlike grace and I smile. Everything about him is catlike, right down to his slender hands and fingers. He paces in front of me, running his fingers through his untidy hair that is in desperate need of care. I search around and I find a comb. I grab it and as he paces past me, I grab his hand and pull him back onto the bed. I move and lean against the wall, whilst he looks on in mild amusement. I wave the comb at him and he grins. He gracefully climbs onto the bed and settles himself between my legs.

"Carry on," I murmur as I remove his hair-band. I slip it onto my wrist and I proceed to comb his hair. I gently move the comb through his tangled hair and I marvel at how soft and silky it feels.

"Please continue," I murmur and he tenses slightly.

"One afternoon, he led me to a clearing a distance away from _Vigil's Keep_ – the _Grey Warden Headquarters_ – and he told me if I helped him, he would give me the tools to fight for what I believe in, not that I was too keen at the time, but he gave me time to consider it. I spent a week, pacing my room at the Keep, thinking about what he said and the more I thought about it, the more I realised how unfairly treated, how unjust we as mages were and still are treated. I made my decision. I followed him to that same clearing. I was unaware of the templars hiding in the shrubbery, ready to arrest me. I agreed to his offer... I offered myself as a host..." he trails away, giving me a pained look and I suddenly understand.

"You...You merged with him?"I heard stories of mages merging with spirits. Stories my Father told me. He said it was just as dangerous as being possessed by malignant spirits. I pause, mid comb and I stare at the wall opposite me.

"I...Yes...I did so willingly, knowing the risk I was taking. As soon as the merge was over and Kristoff's decaying body lay at my feet, I was ambushed by templars. I...I don't recall much of what happened, but what I do recall is white hot anger coursing through me and..." he trails away. I resume combing his hair whilst I stroke his back with my free hand.

"Mari, Justice changed that day. He became vengeful. I became vengeful. You want to know why I left _Amaranthine_. I left because I killed those templars in that clearing. I...I killed them. When I realised what I had done, it was too late. There was and still is no going back for me. I am cursed. I am trapped and I don't want to hurt you. We have a connection and I am not willing to risk hurting you," he says as he abruptly moves away from me. He stands and wanders to the small basin and runs water into it. He splashes his face. He grabs a small towel and as he turns towards me, he dries himself.

"I am what most people would call an _abomination_," he murmurs. I stand and warily approach him. I study him thoughtfully for a while. I rest my hand on the top button of my blouse and I slowly unbutton it without breaking eye contact with him. His eyes widen in surprise and I feel...embarrassed. I close my eyes and continue. I know what he will see. He will see cuts and scars on my chest, my stomach, even my breasts. At least my back wasn't too bad. I cut myself only in places I knew wouldn't be visible, except for my wrists. Some would think they were old injuries where in fact they are not. I feel my blouse fall to the floor and then I remove my bra. I can almost smell his desire, but it doesn't bother me. It has the opposite effect and that makes me tingle. I drop my bra and I reluctantly open my eyes. He is right in front of me, holding my discarded blouse. There is no fear or disgust in his eyes. There is open admiration and it makes me feel embarrassed. I turn away from him, blindly grabbing my blouse from him.

"Anders, I am...I am...a blood mage," I whisper. There, I've said. It's out in the open and instead of the relief I was expecting to feel, I feel ashamed. I hastily push my arms into the sleeves. I can't prevent my tears from falling.

"Hey," he murmurs as he touches my back. I still at his simple gesture and his hand burns into my skin, fuelling my tears and need for him.

"Hey," he murmurs, gently turning me around to face him. "You forgot this." He holds up my bra and I smile at him.

"Keep it," I whisper.

"I intend doing that," he murmurs.

I look uncertainly at him. "You aren't afraid of me?"

He gapes at me. "No...No...I am not. In fact right now, I find you extremely attractive and to be honest, I want to make love to you," he replies and I gape at him. He slings my bra around his neck and he gently cups my face.

"You aren't afraid of me?" he murmurs.

"No...No...I am not," I reply. I realise, as I gaze into his eyes, that I am not afraid of him. In fact, I want to smile. He wants to make love to me and Maker help me, I want the same.

"Good...So many others have run away, leaving me all alone...I hate being alone," he says softly.

"I...feel alone most of the time, except when I bunk down at the _Barracks_ with Aveline," I murmur.

"Mmm...She's the red-headed woman? The one carrying the templar shield?" he says.

"Yes...She is my very close friend. She is there to listen to me when others...flat out refuse," I murmur. "And the shield belonged to her husband. He died during our escape from Lothering."

"What happened to him, Mari?"

"He became infected with the Darkspawn taint... Unfortunately, the Grey Wardens were long gone. I believe becoming a Grey Warden is the only way to cure the taint," I reply.

"So much tragedy and loss..." he whispers. I nod as I lean towards him. I want to kiss him and mark him as my own. He smiles a soft smile and he gently kisses me. I feel the pull towards his hollow. I trail kisses away from his mouth, along his jawline, to the hollow and I gently press my lips against it. I feel a sudden surge of power and strong arms wrap around me. I feel his magic. I can taste it and it tastes of lavender, wood and hay. Lavender being the scent I couldn't place until now. I hover by his hollow.

"Do it," he murmurs.

"Are you sure," I murmur.

"Please, Mari...Do it," he whispers. I look up expecting to see reluctance in his eyes, but there is none. He nods and I gently nibble and suckle him on his hollow. Again, I feel a surge of power. It swirls around us. His energy is blue and mine is white. Our energies merge into a blue-white haze. I suckle a bit more, until he lets out a strangled sigh. It is nearly complete. I close my eyes and concentrate my lips there and I hear it...The sweet sound of mana singing beneath his skin and my skin. I pull away from him and kiss him full on his mouth and he lifts me into his arms and backs towards the bed and we both sink back onto it. He lies on his side, looking at me, and touching me.

"For life," he murmurs.

I lean on my elbow. "I can't believe it," I whisper. I brush his fringe back and he catches my hand and places a soft kiss in the centre of my palm.

"Anders, there is something you need to know," I whisper.

"Tell me and you can call me Andy," he murmurs.

"I...I have never been with a man before," I whisper. I don't know why I feel the need to tell him that, but I feel so comfortable with him and he has already been good to me.

He sits up straight and grins at me. "You are still a virgin?"

"Yes, the last time I checked," I reply and he laughs

"Then the pleasure will be all mine," he murmurs. "Have you been with...women?"

I gape at him and vehemently shake my head. "No...That has never appealed to me."

"And it doesn't bother you?" he asks.

"What? That your ex lover was male? No..." I reply.

"Excellent...Come here," he murmurs. He pulls me into his arms and embraces me. He nuzzles my neck and I giggle.

"So you like cats," I comment.

"I always have," he replies.

"I have a Mabari hound," I murmur and this gets his attention.

"Isn't having a Mabari the mark of nobility?" he asks.

"That is the common theory," I reply.

"So, you are of noble blood?" he asks as he sits up next to me. He leans against the wall and I settle myself between his legs. He gently pulls me against him. He wraps both arms around me and I grin at him. He gives me a chaste kiss that is filled with promise.

"Mmm...My Mother is an _Amell_. She was born in _Kirkwall_. She met my Father, Malcolm Hawke at one of the many banquets the nobles held. She was eighteen at the time. The nobles used mages for display," I murmur. I expect anger, but all he does is kiss my hair and take a deep breath.

"Your Father was a mage?" he asks.

"Yes...An apostate. He and my Mother eloped and fled _Kirkwall_. Her parents disinherited her. Magic runs strong and true on both sides of the family, Anders. In fact, I have a cousin – an _Amell_ – who used to be a part of the Circle in Ferelden," I murmur and again, he takes a deep breath and I twist around to look at him. He has a sad faraway look in his light brown eyes.

"Her name was Solona... Solona Amell," he murmurs and he smiles. I look away from him and slip out of his arms. I feel jealous. It is obvious he had something with her. I wander to the opposite end of his small room and I lean against the wall. I have just marked the man, yet I can't control my irrational jealousy.

"I believe that was her name," I say.

"She was fun to be around. We spent many afternoons sharing jokes and laughing. She was bubbly and full of life. It was a sad day when she was conscripted into the Grey Wardens," he says.

"What?" This is news to me.

"Yes. She assisted a blood mage at the behest of First Enchanter Irving. The Knight-Commander would have given the order to have her made Tranquil, but Duncan of the Grey Wardens conscripted her. I have not seen her in over two years. She wasn't stationed in Amaranthine. So I don't know what has become of her. She was my friend. She was there when I joined the Circle at twelve. She was fourteen at the time. We had a brief fling when I was sixteen, but it was over before it really started." He stands and comes towards me. I back myself into the wall. I am still jealous. He rests his hands on either side of me.

"You are different...More serious...You have deep pain and sorrow and I have a strong urge to protect you," he murmurs.

"I don't have anything to be less than serious about, Anders," I murmur.

"And I wish you trusted me enough to tell me," he says.

"I...I do trust you. I just don't want to talk about it. We hardly know each other, yet," I murmur as I touch the mark I gave to him. Again, I feel the charge. It pulsates around us. His eyes widen and his pupils dilate. I have never needed anyone to this extent, yet I want him. I want him to make love to me. I want to complete our...bonding.

"Mmm...True," he says. He looks down and I follow his gaze. He has wrapped his hand around mine. He leads me back to the bed and we sit. I expect him to kiss me, but all he does is lean against the wall and he pulls me into his arms.

"I like holding you in this way. It comforts me," he murmurs as he grazes his lips against my neck.

"I like the way you hold me. I feel safe...Warm...,"I let the sentence hang. I was about to say _loved_, but I am not sure what it is I feel. He nuzzles my neck and then he kisses me. He trails warm kisses along my neck, to my earlobe that he nibbles. He trails away from that and kisses me behind the ear and I shiver. It makes me tingle all the way to my toes and my stomach clenches almost painfully. He skims his hands along my sides, up my arms and onto my shoulders where he peels back my blouse. He lightly grazes his lips from one shoulder to the other. He moves his hands and rests them on my stomach and I place my hands over his. He grasps my thumbs with his and massages them. He gently moves his hands upwards and I gasp as he closes his hands over my small breasts and I suddenly feel very overwhelmed. I need to breathe.

"Please...Too much," I whisper and he immediately removes his hands and I slowly exhale.

"I apologise," he murmurs by my ear.

"It's fine...Just...I need to breathe," I murmur. I sit up and face him. He is annoyed with himself and I feel awful. It's not his fault. I rest my hand on his cheek.

"There is no need to apologise... I am not used to it... I've never had the pleasure until now," I explain.

"Mmm...I got carried away. I should have realised," he says as I press my finger against his lip.

"Hey, I want you to get carried away," I tease. I settle myself on his lap and I feel his erection beneath me and I realise I am not making it any easier for him. I lift myself and rest my hand over it and he lets out low sigh. I leave my hand where it is, remove my finger from his lip and I kiss him. I feel him shift beneath me and I hear the unmistakable sound of a zip being pulled down and then he guides my hand over his erection and he lets out a muffled sigh that I stifle by deepening our kiss. He rests his hands on my hips and holds my firmly in place and he allows me to tentatively explore, touch and feel. He is rigid beneath me. Even his stomach muscles are tight. I realise it is taking considerable control on his part not to lose what little control he has. This man wants me. The thought makes me smile and I gently pull back and away from him. I gracefully slide off his bed and wander to the basin. I watch him out of the corner of my eye. By his clenched fists, he is struggling. I splash water onto my face. I need to control myself before I even go back to him. I wander to the door and lean against it, closing my eyes. I can't go to him until he is in control. I slide to the floor and wrap my arms around my legs and rest my head on my knees. I glance at him. He is sitting there watching me with deep desire in his eyes. I hastily close my eyes. His look is intense and it only makes me want him more. I hear footsteps and I look up. He is standing over at me, apparently in control of his emotions and he holds out his hands towards me. I gratefully take them and he pulls me to my feet. He cups my face and gives me a chaste kiss.

"You are going to be the death of me," he murmurs. I laugh as I wrap my arms around him.

"I can say the same for you," I tease.

"There is something about you, Mari and I want to discover what it is. You make my heart sing like no-one else," he murmurs.

"Mmm...You make my mana sing," I tease.

"Mmm...You felt that?" he asks.

"Yes..." I whisper. He kisses my forehead and slips his arm around my waist. We wander back to the bed and we are grateful as we sit.

"So your Father was a mage?" he asks.

"Yes...So was my sister," I reply.

"Really? The gift of magic is rarely passed between siblings..." he says.

"My Father always said that...He taught my sister and I all he learnt from his days at the Fereldan Circle," I murmur.

"Mmm...You are fortunate to have had him as your mentor...," he says.

"Who was yours?"

"Wynne, a spirit healer. She taught me all I know about healing," he replies. "Would you like another cup of tea?"

"Mmm...Yes please," I reply.


	3. Salvation Book One Chapter Three

_**Chapter Three**_

I can't help notice the increasing tension I feel radiating off Anders the closer we come to our destination. He tightens his hold on my hand almost painfully so and I glance at him. By the moonlight, I notice his tense jaw and his nervous eyes. Where is the man that had me laughing not two hours ago as he tickled me senseless? All I see is anxiety etched on his handsome face. He glances at me and concern is evident in his eyes. His friend is in danger. What else can I expect? I shrug my shoulders and I stop just short of entering the _Chantry Courtyard_. I hear the voices of Aveline, Carver and Varric carry over the air and the anger is evident in my brother's voice. I shudder and clutch tightly to his hand. It is enough for him to jerk backwards and whirl around to face him. I instantly release his hand and step away from him. He gives me a bewildered look and he quickly reaches out for me. I waste no time in wrapping my arms around him.

"I'm sorry, Mari... I am so anxious," he murmurs.

"I...I understand...Come," I murmur as I slip my hand into his and entwine our fingers.

He leans towards me. "I'm glad you are with me."

"I'm glad to be here," I whisper. We wander further into the _Chantry Courtyard_ and I look towards the sky. The moon is gone, covered by thick clouds that have come out from nowhere. I tentatively sniff the air and the smell of another _Kirkwall_ storm is evident. It will hit by midnight. I glance at him and he appears indecisive. I lead him to the stairs, but as I am about to ascend them, he pulls me into his arms and kisses me...hard. He pulls me as close as he possibly can until I feel every hard place on his body. He ravages my mouth with his tongue and I respond with ardent passion. His kiss is one of fear and pain whereas my kiss is gentle and soothing. I am proved correct as he gently kisses me, moulding his lips to mine in an intimate and possessive way and to my surprise, I like it. He pauses, and lets out low sigh.

"What?" I murmur. He sighs again and I turn around only to stare into the angry eyes of my brother. I choose to ignore him as we ascend the stairs. I pause next to him, daring him to say something. He wants to, but thinks better of it and he backs away from me. I tear my eyes from him and seek out Aveline. I can sense her watching me. She has questions and once she gets hold of me, I will have no choice but to explain to her what she has just witnessed, but as I pass her, she gives me a smile that says it all and I nod my understanding.

"Finally, you are here," comes Varric's booming voice. "I was just telling them that we might need to send the City Guard to look for you, but it appears you are in good hands."

"Apparently so," snaps Carver. I shoot him a warning glance as I stand by the door that will lead us into the _Chantry_. I had been here a few times, to seek solace from my family and I always found it. I often listened to the Chant of Light, but it always left more questions about why we are treated worse than criminals and why we are feared to such an extent for a crime that was committed a thousand years ago... I glance behind me and Anders pushes past everyone and closes his hand over mine.

"We should go in," he says softly. I nod, open the door and enter the _Chantry_. It never seized to amaze me the awe I always felt whenever I visited the _Chantry_ and I feel that same awe and wonder now. It is so quiet and peaceful. There is not a sound except for the beating of our hearts. I am almost certain Anders and my hearts are beating the loudest of them all. I am tempted to kiss him, but he shakes his head as if reading my thoughts. I understand now is not the time for that. He is concerned about Karl and I am concerned about him. I lead them further in and we once again stare in awe at the statue of Andraste looming over the altar. There are many candles flickering around her. She is crafted from gold and she is magnificent. I continue further in and stop just below the altar. The _Chantry_ flag hangs from the cement railings. It is red and the emblem in the middle is an eye that could pass for the sun because of the rays radiating away from it, but it is an eye nevertheless. I look to the left and there are stairs leading up to a few beds for anyone who needed safe place. It is the same on the right and I instinctively know that Karl is up there as does Anders who has my hand in a vice-like grip. I feel my bones creak in protest. I lead him to the right and stop. There is another set of stairs that leads up to the altar where the Grand Cleric conducts the daily sermons and it is here that the statue of Andraste stands. He tugs me onwards and I have no choice but to follow him. He takes the stairs two at a time and once we are on the landing, I hastily search my surroundings. I get the feeling that we are not alone. I narrow my eyes and scan the shadows...We are not alone. There are others here and the hair on the back of my neck prickles uncomfortably and I shiver.

"We better hurry," I whisper. "We are not alone."

"Apparently so," whispers Carver and I follow his pointing finger. A man is standing next to a bed with his back to us. From what I can see from the little bit of light we have, is that he has grey hair and that surprises me. Considering Anders and he were lovers once, I expect him to be younger. I glance at Anders and I briefly wonder if this man is the only person he has ever loved. I reflect back on earlier discussion and I recall the pain in his eyes as he explained to me what happened to Karl and it dawns on me – he loved the man and it leaves me wondering if he still loves him, yet he made no mention of marking him. I make a mental note to ask him that later, but for now, I have other matters to attend to and the main one being the look of utter devastation on his face. I look at Karl. He is facing us and there is mark on his forehead. It reminds me of the Chantry symbol.

"Anders...I know you too well. I knew you would never give up," says Karl in a low, monotonous voice devoid of any emotion and there is no sign of emotion on his kind face. He must have been extremely attractive in his younger days and I don't blame Anders for falling for him and I again wonder if this man was the first and perhaps the last person he was intimate with. The thought pleases me greatly, but the pain in Anders eyes pushes that thought to the back of my mind.

"What's wrong? Why are you speaking in that way?" asks Anders and for no reason, something my Father told me years ago comes back with force.

_When a mage is made tranquil, his forehead is branded with the symbol of the Chantry. When they undergo the Rite of Tranquillity, magic is used to sever a mage's connection to the Fade therefore they become emotionless and because of this, they are extremely efficient at whatever task they do..._

I gape at Anders and then at Karl. He has been made Tranquil and for what reason? I urgently seek out his hand to reassure him, but he moves away from me. I glance into his eyes, and I notice a blue tinge around his irises. I grab his hand anyway and squeeze it.

Karl continues in his monotonous voice. "I was too rebellious, like you. The templars knew I had to be made...an example of."

Anders shrugs free of my grasp and glares at me. His eyes are...blue. I should be afraid, but I am not. I step away from him to give him space, but again, I feel as if we are being watched by something or someone and my mana stirs restlessly. I glance at my hands and red wisps are already floating from my fingers, but I hear a voice and it is distinctly Anders calling me from a distance. I whip around. His body is pulsating raw energy.

"No," he blurts out.

Karl appears unfazed. "How else will mages ever master themselves? You will understand, Anders, as soon as the templars teach you to control yourself..."

I laugh. That is unlikely. As if I will allow a templar to touch him. I quickly approach Anders, but again, I pause. I am uneasy and very soon I understand why... Templars are coming towards us with their weapons drawn and they are heading straight for Anders.

"This is the apostate," says Karl to the templar and a strangled cry draws my attention. I whip around just as Anders falls to his knees. His body is bright blue. His energy has enveloped him. I glance at his face. I notice the blue in his eyes and it is a battle he is going to lose. I am immobile. My energy is coursing through me, consuming me and as I watch...

"No! You will never take another mage as you took him," he yells in a voice that is nothing like the gentle voice I heard a mere half-an-hour. _Is it really half-an-hour ago?_ His voice is full of anger and at the same time, he rises to his feet, lightening strikes the air, momentarily giving us light and I gasp at his expression. It is cold, hard, vengeful and angry and my heart constricts painfully. _My heart? I...I can't be falling in love with him so soon?_ But the emotion is there and it is so strong. I hear a shout, a plea for help and I look up – the templars have surrounded Anders. I just see him fall and I force my legs to move. As I near, the templars stagger backwards and Anders stands, glaring at them with utmost loathing in his eyes. The templars move in again, but I quickly cast a bolt of ice that hits one of them in the square of the back. It does nothing, of course. They have a strong resistance to magic... _But not blood magic_... I unsheathe my dagger and I am about to cut myself when I catch his eye. He is pleading with me not to do it, but I have no choice.

"_Please don't..."_ I look around for the source of the voice that sounds strangely familiar. It distracts me from my task and in my haste to trace the source, I drop my dagger. Another shout draws my attention. They have caught him and he is struggling against them. I am outraged by this and I anxiously search for my companions and over the noise, I hear my brother's voice loud and clear.

"You knew about this, didn't you? You and your bloody insistence to assist mages." I ignore his jibe as I enter the fray to help Anders. I draw on my energy and with a loud shriek I unleash the full force of it. The templars stagger backwards, some falling to their feet and some crawling away from me. I waste no time in unleashing fire into the group. I don't hear their screams of pain because I am too intent on the hand that is holding tightly to my leg. I lower my eyes, expecting to see the light brown eyes of Anders, but all I see is blue...Blue is everywhere around me. It is almost blinding me and in my distracted state, I sense someone coming towards me. I reach down and my hand closes over my dagger. I don't know how it got to my current position and I don't care. I press it against my wrist. The hand leaves my leg and he jumps to his feet. My head is spinning with the scent of burning flash and the strong smell of blood. Blood from the wounds my companions have inflicted on the templars. I move away from him and I press the blade harder against my wrist. Out of the corner of my eye, Carver charges towards me, sword held high and I recall his accusation.

"So what if I knew, Carver. It's not like you can do anything about it and you wouldn't care either way... Have you forgotten what you called me this afternoon?"

He blanches and backs away from me, leaving me to get on with it. I press hard. There is a sting and power surges through me as my blood spills to the tiled floor of the _Chantry_. I close my eyes and I allow it to take me, but before it does strong arms tackle me to the ground. I struggle against the perpetrator. He grips my wrist, forcing me to release my dagger. I hear it clattering away and out of my reach. I brace my hands against his chest and I am about to shove him away when I feel familiar lips on mine. I relax. He relaxes, releasing my hand and I slip my arms around him. He moves from my mouth to the mark he gave to me and he gently kisses me.

"Please don't do that again...I can't lose you," he murmurs. I am at a loss for words. I open my eyes and stare straight into the light brown eyes of my Anders.

"Andy?" I whisper. I flinch. My wrist is tender and I have no means of healing myself. He reaches for my wrist and gently kisses it and it feels better. He won't be able to heal my either, not until the wound has closed itself. I stare in wonder at this man. He doesn't know me yet there is something profound between us. I cup his face and pull him towards me. I stare at his lips, but I tilt his head to the side and gently press my lips against the mark I gave to him.

"Mari," he murmurs. I am about to say something to him, when someone roughly pulls him off me. I am on my feet in the blink of an eye and I take a swipe, but a strong hand closes over my wrists.

"You marked him?" whispers Carver.

"Let me go," I warn. I glance frantically around for Anders and I find him standing in front of Karl.

"You little bitch, Marian. How could you mark him? Look at what he is," he says softly.

"I told you to let me go," I warn just as Aveline steps behind him.

"Let her go, otherwise I will arrest you," she says quietly. He glares at me, releasing me as he does so. I snatch my wrist and hold it against my chest. It is throbbing. It is going to be bruised in the morning.

"You wouldn't dare?" he murmurs.

"Try me, young man," she replies and he blanches. He hates being called that, but in truth that is what he is – a young man, nothing more. I shoot him a dirty look as I make my way to Anders' side. Anders has his hand on Karl's shoulder and I find that I don't care. I slip my hand into his and I gently squeeze it. Karl is looking at him with surprise in his grey eyes. They are sparkling and I don't recall seeing that a few minutes ago.

"I – Anders, what did you do? It is as if...you brought a piece of the Fade into this world. I had already forgotten what that feels like," murmurs Karl in voice full of emotion. Anders looks at him tenderly and again my heart clenches painfully. I look away, frowning. I don't understand what Karl is saying because as far as I know, tranquil mages are cut off from the Fade forever. I quickly look up at Karl.

"I thought the Tranquil were cut off from the Fade forever," I murmur, voicing my recent thoughts.

"We are...When you Tranquil, you never think on your life before, but...it's like the Fade itself inside Anders, burning like the sun... Please...Please kill me before I forget again," murmurs Karl. I quickly glance at Anders and that same devastation I saw earlier is evident in his eyes and on his face.

"Please, Anders? I don't know how you brought it back, but it's fading," continues Karl.

"No...Karl...Please...," murmurs Anders. His voice is full of pain and sorrow.

"Is there no other way?" I ask, knowing full well that there is nothing we can do for a tranquil mage. Anders turns surprised and annoyed eyes on me and I step away, releasing his hand.

"You know there is nothing we can do, Marian...Surely you know this?" he asks. I look away from him, to my boots that are filthy. The pain is evident in his voice and it hurts me like hell knowing that I said the wrong thing and there is nothing I can do or say to retract those words.

"What do you mean?" asks Aveline.

"We can't cure him... The dreams of tranquil mages are severed. There is nothing left of them to fix," replies Anders. I feel his gaze on my back.

"Anders, please...I would rather die a mage, than live as a templar puppet," pleads Karl

"I...I would rather die a mage," I whisper as I turn around. "I would rather die a mage then be made tranquil. Give him peace... Give him peace, Anders. It is nothing less than what I would ask of you if it were me in his place." And in this moment, I realise the truth of my words. His eyes flicker from mine to Karl's and back to mine. I kneel down and retrieve my dagger. I press it into his hand and I close his hand over it. I gently rub his knuckles with my thumb willing him to understand what he must do. He comes to a decision and moves away from me.

"I...I got here too late...I am sorry...I am so sorry," he murmurs as he presses the dagger into Karl's chest. Karl lifts his hand and touches his cheek and something passes between them. I look away, feeling confused and hurt.

"Now...It's fading...Why...Why do you look at me like that?" asks Karl. I glance at Anders and his expression has hardened considerably.

"Goodbye, Karl," he murmurs. He pushes the dagger into his heart. There is soft _oomph_ of air escaping as Karl slides to the floor. Anders drops his dagger and it clatters a few feet away from him. He turns around and looks at me.

"Mari," he murmurs as he stumbles towards me. We sink to the floor with arms wrapped each other and he lets out a strangled moan and he weeps. I cradle him in my arms whilst I stare unseeingly at nothing in particular. His pain is my pain and it is enough to make me double over and hold myself, it is so intense. I hear the heavy footfalls of my brother, but they stop and I look up. Aveline is restraining him.

"Let...Me...Go," he says.

"No..." she says.

"No? You have no right," he says.

"I have every right to protect her from you, Carver. Now, move along. They need to be alone. Are we in agreement, Varric?" she asks.

"For some dwarven ale? Yes, but we are going to get soaked," he replies. Aveline laughs as they descend the stairs and that is when I hear raindrops hitting the windows.

"Nothing like good ale to warm the bones after being soaked," she says.

I don't hear anymore because they are gone, leaving the two of us alone. I stare off into space, until a warm hand curls around my neck, pulling me closer. I look down at him. He brings me closer and I close the distance between us. I capture his mouth in a kiss that says it all and very quickly he has shifted and cocooned me beneath his body. I curl my legs and arms around him, cradling him into me. Our kiss intensifies. He does not break our kiss as he slides his hand along my thighs, pausing momentarily to unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants. He shifts and then I feel him there. We are in the _Chantry_. We have been through one hell of a battle, he has killed his former lover and templars could swoop on us any minute, but he doesn't seem to care. He tugs my smalls to the side and I feel his erection, yet he hesitates. Seemingly he comes to a decision because he pulls away from me.

"Let's get out of here, before more templars come," he murmurs as he buckles his belt and zips his pants. I quickly straighten myself and I hope and pray that I can stand on my own two feet. He clamps his hands over my wrists and pulls me to my feet. I stumble and he wraps an arm around me, pulling me close.

"Thank you," I whisper as I slip both my arms around him. I know exactly what is going to happen when we return to his clinic...

"I hope you aren't thinking of taking me home," I murmur as we exit the _Chantry_.

He laughs. "I don't know where you live."

I grin at him. "It's not far from the _Hanged Man_."

"Well, I am not taking you home, Mari...You are coming home with me," he says.

"Mmm...Sounds promising," I murmur. We stand at the top of the stairs leading into the courtyard and we take a few refreshing breaths. The air is cool and clear and it clears my head and the rain chooses now to come down harder.

"Come. I don't want you to the catch the death of cold," he says.

"The nearest exit is all the way in Lowtown, Anders."

He grins at me. "No...There is one just off the courtyard. Come," he murmurs as we wander down the stairs. He turns to the right. We take those stairs and it leads us into Lowtown and from there we enter Darktown.

-o0o-

Anders and I are sitting side-by-side on his bed with a blanket wrapped around us and the only clothes we have on are our underclothes. Strangely, I don't feel awkward or embarrassed around him. Our clothes are by the small fire, drying out. I have a towel in my hands and I glance at him. His hair is still wet. The water is dripping down his face and occasionally he shivers. I slip out of the warmth of the blanket and I straddle his lap. He smiles as he clasps my hips.

"What do you intend doing with that?" he says.

"Mmm...Dry your hair," I reply. I sit up and gently dry his hair and he makes it difficult because he is skimming his hands along my sides, up my arms, back to my sides and over my thighs before moving back to my hips. I toss the towel aside and reach for the comb which I place in my mouth so that I can thread my fingers through his hair and whilst I do that, I massage his scalp with my fingers. I gaze at him. His eyes are half-closed and there is a look of contentment on his face. We haven't spoken about Karl since we left the _Chantry_. I figured he would speak when he felt he was ready and I was not going to pressurize him, although I don't want him to be consumed by his pain. There is nothing worse than experiencing that. I push the memory aside and concentrate my fingers on his scalp. I remove the comb and gently comb his hair, being careful not to be too rough. Thankfully there are very few knots. I am able to comb his hair with ease. I am so intent on my task, that I don't realise what he is doing until he unhooks my bra. I pretend not to notice and I continue with my task. It doesn't last because he cups my breasts. I lean away from him and drop the comb onto the table. He pulls me closer and I look at him. His eyes have darkened considerably. My breathing hitches due to the intensity of his gaze and I capture his mouth in a kiss. He pulls my closer and slides his hands up my back and curls them over my shoulders holding me in place. I thread my fingers through his hair and our kiss deepens. He gently probes and I allow him entrance. He delves into my mouth as I delve into his and our tongues begin a wild dance. He slides his hands along my back and deftly removes my underwear. He curls his hands over my buttocks, holding me in place and I am acutely aware of his erection beneath me. I disentangle my fingers from his hair and lean back, breaking our kiss. I don't break eye contact with him as I peel his shorts back. He lifts himself slightly, enabling me to remove them without a problem. He reaches for my hands and gently pulls me flush against his naked chest, and maker, it feels so good...and right. It feels as if I have come home. I can feel every hard muscle of his body. I stretch myself out and begin trailing kisses along his chest. He has a fine smattering of light brown hair on his chest and it tickles my cheek. I giggle and a low rumbles resonates from his chest. It is a pleasing sound. I skim my hands along his arms and gently explore them. He is strong...for a mage and that pleases me. He gently pushes me away, and I frown. He shakes his head and smiles. He slips his arms around me and rolls until I am beneath him. He kisses my forehead before he trails kisses to the mark he gave to me. I moan as he nibbles me and he rumbles low in his throat. He trails kisses back along my jaw. He pauses a mere inch from my lips. I curl my arms around him, bringing him flush against me.

"Are you sure you want this?" he murmurs.

"Please...I...I want you to make love to me," I reply.

"It...It might be painful," he murmurs.

"I don't care...As long as it is you," I murmur.

"Mmm...It will always be me, Mari," he murmurs as he grazes his lips against mine. He shifts slightly and I feel him there. I will myself not to become too tense otherwise I am doing myself no favours.

"Wrap your legs around my hips," he murmurs. I do as he asks and he shifts again. His erection touches me and I gasp. It is so...pleasurable and my nerve endings suddenly come alive. My stomach clenches as do my muscles within me and I will myself to relax again. He moves against me and I moan. He captures my mouth in a kiss before it becomes too loud. He moves again and I let out low sigh. He is part way in...He withdraws, leaving me bereft.

"Relax," he murmurs as he closes his hand over my breast and thumbs my nipple and I moan.

"Focus on me," he murmurs, and I lock gazes with him. He does not break eye contact with me as he gently eases into me. I bite back my sobs at the first wave of pain I feel, but it quickly passes. He pushes more...and he stops. I am so tense. If I don't relax, it will only be more painful. He leans towards me, and lightly grazes his lips along my jawline. He tells me to relax as he gently kisses me.

"Are you ready?" he murmurs.

"I think so," I reply, willing myself to relax and to my surprise, I do. He kisses me again as I feel a twinge of pain, but it passes quickly and in its place, is a fullness I never knew existed until now. I tighten my legs around his waist. He pauses, allowing me to get used to the intrusion – his intrusion. I smile at the thought. He gently kisses me as he slowly moves within me. I feel a strange sensation and as he moves, it spreads; warming me from inside out and it is intensely pleasing. As he moves and I stretch to accommodate him, I can't help relishing the fullness I feel. He gazes down at me and kisses me. Our kiss intensifies as does his movements and I feel something...I feel as if I am going to explode and by the trembling man I am holding intimately close, he is ready to explode to.

"Let it go," he murmurs against my mouth. I don't understand what he means but his urgency makes me understand and my need for sweet release is overwhelming.

"Let it go, Mari...Let it go for me," he murmurs. I feel my muscles clench around him and he lets out a low sigh. "Let it go." And I shatter into a million pieces of myself. He stills and with one final thrust, he finds his release in me. He collapses on my chest and I tighten my arms around him. I relax my legs because they feel as tired as the rest of me. The need to sleep is overwhelming, but I am afraid...I am afraid of what sleep might bring me and I bite my lip to stifle my sob, but it comes out. He raises himself slightly, and touches my nose.

"Oh Mari...I didn't mean to hurt you," he murmurs.

"No...It's not you...I am afraid to sleep...Anders...I have terrible nightmares," I murmur.

"You are not the only one," he murmurs.

"What...What do you mean?"

"I have terrible nightmares about darkspawn and Justice," he replies. "What are yours about?"

"Demons...Shades... My dark place in the Fade...It calls to me in my sleep," I murmur.

"That bad, huh?" he asks.

"Yes...No-one understands...Not even my Mother... Aveline is the only one who cares enough to understand," I reply. He grins at me and kisses my forehead.

"I understand...We can try," he murmurs.

"You...You..." Words fail me as I stare up at this man who has absolute concern in his eyes for me.

"Yes," he murmurs. He slowly withdraws from me and I wince. I am...tender, yet it feels pleasant and I blush.

"You are mine," I murmur.

"Mmm...I have been since you walked into my clinic this morning or was it yesterday? Maker, what is the time?" he asks and that is when I notice it is no longer raining. He lies next to me and I curl onto my side, entwining me leg with his and I rest my head on his chest. He pulls up the blanket and covers us both. I feel safe, warm and cosy. He kisses my hair.

"Try and get some sleep. I will be here if you need me," he murmurs. I close my eyes knowing he speaks the truth and I allow sleep to take me into the unwelcome place of the Fade.


	4. Salvation Book One Chapter Four

_**Chapter Four**_

I am too hot and I feel weighed down. I attempt opening my eyes, but they refuse to comply and I let out a low sigh. I decide to move, but I wince. I am incredibly tender and with a start I recall what happened last night and I realise the weight I feel is Anders. I force my eyes open. I am lying on my side holding a pillow – his Mother's, I note – and he is wrapped around me like ivy. I close my eyes and recall every single detail of his lovemaking and with a start I realise I feel...refreshed. I slept through the night without any nightmares and by his deep breathing, he has slept through to. I try moving again, but he protests and he mumbles my name. I grin at myself because he cares for me...He cares for me in a way that no-one has ever cared for me and my heart beats joyfully at this revelation. I move again and I let out a contented sigh. He moves away from me and I straighten out on my back and give myself a good stretch. Even my legs are stiff, never mind the mild pain I feel radiating from my nether regions. I stretch again and I sit. I need a good wash. I scramble over him as quietly as I can and I head to the basin. I run water into it and dip my finger into it. It is ice cold and I shiver. He is lucky to have this necessity but he needs it to care for his patients. I think back to our home in Lothering. We were one of the lucky few to have warm water and many times I thought it unfair that only a handful of us had the privilege. It seems the same applies in _Kirkwall_. I heard of the nobles being of the privileged few to have warm water. I turn off the tap and open the cabinet above it and to my surprise I find a bottle of Lavender Essence. I open it and the smell wafts into my nose and I take a deep breath. I look around and notice the cloth next to the bed. I reach for it and he opens his eyes and he smiles at me. It is enough to make me collapse in a heap next to him and beg him for more. I laugh. I lean towards him and give him a kiss and my gesture earns a huge grin from him.

"I could get used to this, you know," he murmurs.

"Mmm...Me too," I murmur as I reluctantly move back to the basin without breaking eye contact with him. He sits and swings his strong legs in front of me and places his feet firmly on the ground. He appraises me and I frown. _Why is he looking at me like that?_ I hastily turn away and throw a few drops of essence into the water. I put the bottle aside and I dip the cloth into the water and I give it a squeeze. I first wash my face and I breathe in the scent of the essence. It appears to heal every sore place in my body. I dip the cloth into the water a second time, squeeze it and I look at my breasts. There is no sign of any scarring. A lump forms in my throat and I run my fingers along my stomach and there is no scarring there either. I drop the cloth back into the basin as my tears roll down my cheeks. There is not a scar on my arms or my wrists and it is beautiful to see. So many years of using my blood magic and not a sign I have ever used it. I furiously wipe my tears away. I open my eyes as he wraps his arm around my waist. He reaches for the cloth, squeezes it with one hand and very gently, he begins washing me, starting at my chest. In slow circular motions he moves downwards.

"I told you that you have beautiful skin," he murmurs as he nibbles my ear.

"Why do you care so much?" I whisper.

"Mmm...Because you are worthy," he replies.

"How can you say that? I am a blood mage," I whisper.

"Yes...Yes you are and nothing is going to change that as nothing is going to change what I am..." he murmurs. He kisses me behind my ear. "I slept through the night without nightmares...This is the first time...I can't even remember how long...since I had a peaceful night's sleep."

"I slept exceptionally well...last night and for the first time in months, I feel refreshed," I murmur. He tightens his arm around me and continues washing me. He is washing my stomach now and I don't know what is going to happen when he moves further down. I tingle at the thought and the thought that he is naked behind me is extremely pleasing. I like the way he feels against my skin. I lean into him and tilt my head back so that I can see his face. He smiles as he closes the short distance between us and I stand on my tiptoes, meeting him halfway, in a gentle kiss. He drops the cloth into the basin and wraps his other arm around me.

"You are beautiful, Mari," he murmurs. He gently turns me around and pulls me flush against him. He reaches around for the cloth and he leans over to wash my back. I rest my hands on his chest. He is so steady, so solid, warm and comforting. I gaze up at him and his eyes are sparkling. He is happy and it is because of me. I find it difficult to grasp. No-one has ever been this affected by me. They normally bombard me with questions, give me glares of hatred and then walk away. They always walk away, but this beautiful man who is as troubled as I am...Who is as much a loner as I am...He is still here and very real to me. I stand on my tiptoes and gently kiss him as I place my hand over his heart.

"I should get you home. Your mother must be worried about you," he murmurs. I lower my eyes. He is right. I have to face her sooner than later. A part of me wants to face her, but the other part of me wants me to stay here locked in his embrace for a few more hours.

"I know," I murmur. I step away from him and begin the search for my discarded underwear. I find my bra under the blankets, my underwear under the bed and I briefly wonder how it got there as I pull it on. I turn around and he is behind me, holding out my skirt and blouse and my boots. I nod my thanks and pull them on. Once I have done that, I turn towards him. He is pulling on his pants.

"Would you like me to come with you?" he asks.

"Would you...Would you do that for me?"

"Mmm...I wouldn't have asked otherwise," he replies. I step towards him and button his shirt.

"Thank you. It means a lot to me, but what about your patients?"

"They are not important right now and besides they can wait. You need me and I intend being there for you," he replies. My heart flutters at his words and I smile up at him.

"You are...I don't know..." I hoarsely whisper.

"Right for you? I think so...We can make it work, Mari...That is if you would like to give me a chance," he says.

"Give you a chance? Nothing would please me more," I whisper.

"You aren't worried that we don't know each other?" he murmurs.

"Do you think I care about that, Anders? Last night was the first time in...I don't know how...I felt at home. To be in your arms knowing you won't judge me for my choice and the fact you listen...you really listen, is enough to make me stay...for a very long time," I reply.

"So, you don't intend running away like so many others?" he asks.

"No...No, I don't intend doing that... This is my proof," I murmur as I close my hand over the mark I gave to him and I realise that my Mother is going to notice it. I push the inevitable thought to the back of my mind. He curls his hand over mine and brings it to his lips and he plants a kiss on the palm of my hand. He lowers it to my side and entwines our fingers.

"Ready?" he murmurs.

"As I will ever be," I reply.

-o0o-

The closer we get to Gamlen's house, the more anxious I become. I have tightened my hold on his hand considerably since we left the sanctuary of his Clinic. What surprised me as we walked through _Darktown_ was his popularity amongst the refugees. They loved and respected him for being their Healer and what caught their interest was me. They no longer eyed me with suspicion. They obviously thought that because I was in his company, they had nothing to fear and I was okay with that. They did not need to know about my blood mage status.

"Well, is this where you live?" he asks, breaking into my thoughts. I follow his gaze and I nod.

"Yes," I whisper barely keeping the anxiety out of my voice. He squeezes my hand and we ascend the stairs. As we reach the door, I hear frantic barking and I smile. He tenses next to me.

"Is that your hound?" he asks.

"Yes...He won't harm you, Anders," I reassure him.

"Mmm...I'm not too fond of hounds," he murmurs.

"He is no ordinary hound, Andy. He can be placid when he wants to be," I murmur.

He clears his throat. "What is his name?"

"Mabari..." I reply.

"Really? He is a _Mabari hound_ and you chose to call him _Mabari_?" he asks, amused.

"I couldn't think of a more suitable name. He...He was a gift from my Father," I reply as I look away from him. Mentioning my Father is painful.

"Hey, I didn't mean to upset you," he says softly.

"I know...I have too many sad memories surrounding the death of my Father," I whisper.

"Hey...It's okay," he murmurs as he gazes at me with..._Wait...Is that love I see in his eyes?_ The thought does wonders to lift my spirits and I embrace him. The barking persists and I am forced to break away from him. I step closer to the door and I knock. _Why do I feel the need to knock?_ _This is supposed to be my home as much as my Mother's and brother's?_ But I know what I am going into. They won't welcome me with open arms. I am right as soon as the door opens and Mother looks out. Her expression is less than amused...and angry. I backtrack straight into his arms. I don't belong here and I never have. She appraises us and she wants to smile – I feel the first tiny bit of hope, but that is squashed as soon as she notices our marks. She stands aside and I walk in, clutching tightly to his hand. I don't give her a second glance. I enter the living room and come to a dead stop. Carver is standing with his back to the fireplace and his expression is...angry, hurt even and the stench of liquor is quite strong. It is enough to make me feel queasy. Anders pulls me back and leans towards me without taking his eyes off Carver.

"Pack your bags, Mari...I am taking you away from this," he whispers for me alone and I allow myself to smile.

"Don't even think about it, Marian," says Carver as he strides towards me. I step away from Anders.

"I suggest you back off, Carver," I warn.

"Why? So you can blast me with your magic...again? What? Do you derive great satisfaction in doing that?" he asks as he closes his hand over my upper arm.

"Let me go...I am warning you. I won't hesitate to use it again if I have to," I reply. He glowers at me and he looks ready to hit me. He turns away from me and I breathe a sigh of relief. It doesn't last, because he swings around and fists me in my face. My jaw cracks and blood spurts from my nose. My ears are ringing and I stagger backwards and I trip over a table and land on my backside. It jars my jaw. I have never felt so humiliated or shocked in my life. Anders is already at my side, examining me. He is angry. I notice the blue tinge in his eyes. I glance at Mother and she is as white as sheet.

"How dare you, Carver Hawke? Get out of my sight and find something useful to do...Like bringing in more sovereigns so that we can have a decent meal and don't even consider spending any gold on any liquor, you hear me? Now get out of my house," she yells. I close my eyes. I am going to pass out. I claw at Anders' clothes. I also have a wet tongue licking my face.

"Mabari, sit," orders Mother. He whines, but he moves away. I think he does, but instead he lies next to me.

"Mari," calls Anders. I want to pass out. I desperately claw around needing to find something to hold on to and a warm, familiar hand closes over mine.

"Mommy?" I murmur as I attempt to fight the overwhelming darkness that is going to take me to my dark place. I don't want to go there.

"Mommy...Mommy...I am so scared," I whimper.

"Ssh...Breathe sweetie, breathe..." she murmurs. I attempt taking a deep breath, but it is too painful.

"I can't...I can't," I whimper.

"Anders, do something," she calls.

"Mari...Mari..." he says softly. I feel his hand on my cheek. I feel his energy and I feel a tingling sensation. I force my eyes open, but I can't see. My vision is blurred and I can't seem to focus. I close my eyes only to re-open them and through my haze, I see a pair of light brown eyes.

"Andy," I whimper.

"Yes...Just lie still," he murmurs. I understand why when I feel his magic flowing freely between his. I hear the sharp creak of bone coming back together and I tighten my hold on Mother's hand. The next sound I hear is my nose creaking back into place and I take a huge gulp of air. It is enough to clear my head and I welcome the air as it fills my lungs. I attempt sitting, but I feel heavy as if every muscle in my body is exhausted.

"Just take it easy...Um...Serah Hawke, would you make her a cup of tea?" he asks.

"Leandra...You can call me Leandra. You must be Anders," she says softly, kindly.

"I am pleased to meet you, Leandra, but please she needs something to drink," he urges. She looks at me and I notice the reluctance.

"Mom, please? He won't harm me," I murmur and that is painful. I am going to have one hell of a bruised jaw. Tears fall unbidden. I force myself to sit up and I wrap my arms around him.

"I won't be long...Keep her comfortable," she murmurs. He nods. He slips his arms around me and lifts me so that I am kneeling opposite him. He releases me, only to reach for my hand as he stands. Once he is up, he reaches for my other and gently pulls me to my feet.

"Are you steady?" he murmurs. I feel dizzy and nauseous. I realise I am in shock.

"No," I reply.

"Okay," he says as he wraps his arm around my waist and I wrap both arms around his chest and he guides me to the nearest chair. It happens to be my Mother's. He sits, pulling me onto his lap and I curl into him. His warmth seeps through me sending a glow all the way to the pit of my stomach.

"He hit me, Anders...Why? What did I do to deserve it?" I whisper.

"I...I don't know...Try not think about it for the moment. I want you to...I need you to relax," he murmurs. I close my eyes thinking that is unlikely to happen. How can I relax knowing that my brother hit me? My blood is boiling. He can be thankful he is not here otherwise there is no telling what I would do to him in my current state. I glance at Anders and he is watching me closely as if trying to read my thoughts.

"You don't really want to know how I am feeling right now," I murmur.

"Well, you are angry, that much is obvious," he states.

"I am...I won't deny it," I whisper and he chuckles.

"Oh Mari, what am I going to do with you?" he teases.

"I know of several things," I murmur.

"Really and what might they be?" he asks. I straighten myself on his lap. I cup his face and lean towards him.

"You will see," I murmur, and I kiss him.

"Oh..." he mumbles.

"Mmm..." I murmur. We don't get very far when someone clears their throat. I break off our kiss and glance at Mother who is smiling at me and my heart fills with joy. I have not seen her smile like this in months. The smile is genuine and reaches her light grey eyes.

"Begging your pardon...Here is the tea Anders requested," she says.

"Thank you, Leandra... Mari?" he murmurs. I gracefully slide off his lap to stand and I sway. My head is spinning be it from my kiss with Anders or from my now-throbbing jaw.

"Don't even think about it," he murmurs as he wraps his arm around my waist. He gently pulls me onto his lap. My Mother sets the cup on the table next to us. She sits opposite us and Mabari settles at her feet.

"So, you are Anders... My son mentioned you after he returned home last night," she says.

"Yes, I am Anders..." he says.

"You sound Ferelden..." she states.

"I am...I was born in Ferelden. At twelve I joined the _Fereldan Circle_..." he says.

"Yet here you are," she say. "What brings you to _Kirkwall_?"

"My reasons are my own," he replies.

"Clearly," she says.

"Mom...Enough...You don't know what he has been through," I intervene.

"I...I know...I am just trying to understand why...Marian, you marked him...Why? You don't know him. How can you be so sure he is right for you? Does he even know what you are?" she asks. My hand holding the cup starts shaking. _Why does she have to bombard me with questions? Haven't I been through enough since yesterday?_ My nerves are shattered. I have spent an emotional night with Anders and I have just been hit my brother...and my pride has been wounded. And, I think, as I cast my eyes around the small living room, this is not my home anymore. I attempt stilling my hand, but it worsens and my tea sloshes all over me.

"Hey," he murmurs, taking my cup from me. He closes his hand over mine and only then does the shaking stops.

"Why Mari? I want to know. Have you...Have you completed the bonding?" she asks. I sigh, deciding to be honest with her. She is my Mother and she deserves as much.

"I marked him because...I...care for him and he cares for me in a way you simply cannot understand. He listens where you have failed. He knows exactly what I am because I told him yesterday...And yes, we have...completed the bonding," I murmur.

"Why? You don't know him...I find it difficult to understand," she says.

"What more do you want me to tell you, Mom? He is right for me. He is what I need and I am what he needs and if you will excuse me, I have to pack my bag." I get to my feet and half-walk, half-shuffle into the room I share with my Mother. I am still incredibly tender and I sink onto the bed and exhaustion sweeps through me. I half-heartedly attempt to retrieve my bag from under the bed, but I don't have the energy to do that, instead, I crawl onto the bed and close my eyes to blessed sleep.

-o0o-

_I am in the Fade...My dark place is calling me. I don't want to go there, but a man appears in front of me. He looks like __Anders. I take his outstretched hand – he even feels like Anders – and he leads me along a path I have walked many times before. We come to a point where the path diverges – one to the left and one to the right. I usually take the right because it takes me away from my dark place, but this man gives me a reassuring squeeze and tugs me towards the left path. He tells me he is going to lead me to the light. I believe him because I trust him. It is my Anders who is leading me. I follow him without question, but the further we travel, the darker the sky becomes and the drier the land becomes. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle and my skin breaks out in goose-flesh. This does not feel right, yet this is my Anders. The man I have marked as my own. I shrug free of his grasp and I turn around, but the path has disappeared and in its wake, is a swirling black mist. I panic, realising that I have been tricked and I have no way to escape. The dark mist consumes me, sucking the very life out of me. In the distance, I hear someone screaming..._

Someone is holding me firmly by my shoulders and someone is still screaming. I realise it is me, yet I cannot stop screaming. I begin to struggle against the person who has the audacity to restrain me. I kick my legs and claw at the hands holding me down. From a distance someone calls my name. The voice is vaguely familiar and it warms me from the inside out. I stop struggling and I open my eyes. All I see is a red haze, but I also see someone through my haze. I recognise the light brown eyes, the sharp nose and the strong jaw. The hands holding me are welcoming and warm. I close my eyes and I hear it again.

"Mari...Mari..." I recognise the voice. It is the gentle voice of Anders. It is nothing remotely similar to the voice that was leading me astray in the Fade. I force my eyes open. My vision has cleared and I focus on his eyes. They are leading me into the light. I claw at his shirt, seeking out his hands. He grabs my hands and holds them against his chest.

"Mari?" he murmurs, relief evident in his voice. He gently pulls me up. He releases my hands long enough so that he can push a fresh cup of tea into my hands.

"Drink," he instructs as he sits next to me. He rests his hand on my thigh and I feel safe. I am in my happy place. I realise we are not alone. I look towards the door and my Mother is watching me with concern in her eyes. She wipes her eye and she turns away from me. She is crying...She is crying because of me.

"Mom," I call. It comes out strangled and that is because my throat is sore. I glance at Anders who is as concerned as my Mother. I find I cannot look at him, so I look away from him and I study the hand that is massaging my thigh. I know what I have to do and it breaks my heart

"Anders," I whisper.

"No...Don't say it...I am not walking out of here without you, Marian," he softly says.

"But," I murmur.

"No! Marian Amell-Hawke. I am not leaving you...Please don't ask me to...I can't bear it...We have only just met, yet it feels a lifetime to me... Please Mari? I...I think...I am," he trails away, seemingly at a loss for words.

"But," I try again.

"No...Please," he whispers. I stare into his eyes and there is...love and warmth in them. He loves me...He loves me, even if he isn't aware of it...and I love him. My heart tells me so. I don't want him to go...

"Mari, please...Give me...Give us a chance...I...I..." he stammers. He stares at me and threads his fingers through his hair. He is frustrated. I place the cup on the floor. I face him and reach for his hands. I move onto his lap, wrap my legs around his waist and I hold our hands between us. He definitely loves me. He just doesn't know how to express himself or the time is not right, but I am going to tell him how I feel.

"I...I don't want you to leave, Andy...We have only known each other for a few hours... Anders, I...I," and words fail me. I want to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation and I do. It only lasts a short while – my jaw gives me a friendly reminder and I stop laughing.

"You know how attractive you are to me when you laugh?" he murmurs.

"Swollen jaw and all?" I murmur.

"Yes...Swollen jaw and all. You are very attractive," he says.

"Surely you can fix that?"

"I can...Just hold still," he says as he gently places his hand over my jaw. He closes his eyes and from being this close to him, I notice his eyelashes. They are long and almost blond and they fall naturally. I ignore his request and I kiss each closed eye. He continues healing me. I move to his nose and kiss him.

"Mmm...You know I am trying to heal you," he murmurs.

"I know, but you beautiful," I murmur.

"I am not beautiful," he says.

"Mmm...You are and I wouldn't argue the point either," I murmur.

"Mmm...That sounds like a challenge," he says.

"It is...I want to make love to you, Anders," I murmur.

"And how can I deny you the honour?" he murmurs.

"Mmm..."I mumble as I kiss him. He wraps his arms around me and moves further onto the bed until his back is to the wall. I resettle myself on his lap and I slowly work his shirt as I kiss him.


	5. Salvation Book One Chapter Five

_**Chapter Five**_

"So you are back, Carver?" I say as I walk past him to seat myself next to Anders. It is early evening. We have been here all day, except when Anders went to his Clinic for a few hours. He has just returned to me. He has also packed my bag and left it by the door. After much discussion between my Mother and me, it was decided I would move in with Anders.

"I see you are still here... with him," he says.

"I will be leaving after supper... I hope you have sovereigns for us... For Mom."

He takes a purse out of his pocket and throws it on the table.

"There are five sovereigns in there. I didn't use any of it at the tavern," he mutters.

"Good...," I stand and wander into the kitchen. Mother is preparing soup for us. I lean against the counter.

"Carver brought a few sovereigns home today," I inform her.

She stiffens. "Did he, now, and I suppose he has nothing to show for it?"

"Actually, he gave this to me," I reply as I drop the coin purse onto the table. She picks it up and weighs it in her hands.

"There aren't many...What are we going to do? Between feeding everyone and the money you need for the expedition, I am at my wit's end and it doesn't help matters that Carver comes home as drunk as a lord every night." She sits and buries her head in her hands.

"Oh Mom...I am trying. I really am... I will speak to Aveline. She said she might have work for me and Varric – he is also keeping an ear out for further work."

"I...I know you are trying...I am so frustrated and anxious," she says. I sit opposite her and reach for her hands.

"Mom, I will try harder, I promise."

"I miss your sister, Mari...Those big blue eyes and long black hair," she murmurs.

"I...I know you miss her and...I am sorry she died. It should have been me, not her," I murmur.

"No...Please don't say that, Mari... Look, I know we have...issues...I am prepared to work through them if you are willing to forgive me for being less than a Mother to you. Especially to you...I didn't realise, Mari...I didn't realise until I heard you screaming... Anders told me that you told him you have terrible nightmares. Why didn't you tell me? Is that why you spent most nights at the Barracks?"

"I...I don't belong here, Mom...I am unhappy at home. I have no peace. It is difficult enough as it is coping with my choices. I have no peace...How can I when all Carver does is fight with me and goad me? Do you know what he called me yesterday, Mom? Do you know? He called me _mage bitch¸_ Mom," I whisper. "He called me the same thing last night at the _Chantry_."

"Is that where you went to? He wouldn't tell me. All he told me before he left was that you promised to assist a mage," she says. I note that she makes no reference to what he called me. I stand, deciding I have outstayed my welcome. I am at that door when she calls me back.

"I can't believe he insulted you to that extent, Mari and then today, when he physically attacked you... What am I going to do with him?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Do you think I care, Mom?"

She glances at me. "No, I suppose you don't... Go back into the living room. Tell the men I will serve the meal shortly." She looks away from me and picks up a spoon and she resumes cooking the soup. I wander back into living room, deep in thought and the first thing I notice is a cold breeze blowing in from somewhere. I look up and the front door is wide open. I glance towards the table and Anders is sitting there with his head buried in his hands and there is no sign of Carver.

"Anders?" I enquire.

"He took off, Mari... He said he couldn't bear to be in the same house as me, so he took off, muttering something about spending the night at the tavern," he explains. I wander to the door and onto the landing. I take a deep breath and close my eyes. It is chilly tonight and it smells of rain.

"Mmm...A sovereign for your thoughts?" murmurs Anders from behind me. I open my eyes and nearly jump. He sure knows how to sneak up without me being aware of his movements.

"No," I reply as I turn around.

"I think your Mother is going to be upset at her son running off like that," he says.

"More than likely...So, why aren't you sitting at the table waiting for the meal?"

"Well, because my beautiful...What are you to me?" he murmurs.

"Mmm...Lover? Girlfriend? Life partner? Take your pick," I reply as I rest my hand on his chest.

"So many options. None seem fitting, but I think _girlfriend_ will suffice. What do you think?" he murmurs as he slips his arm around my waist.

"Mmm...I can live with that, for now," I reply.

"Really? Let's see, shall we?" he murmurs. He leans towards me, lifts my chin and kisses me. We pull apart as a crack of lightning flashes across the sky. The smell of rain is even stronger now. He wraps his arm around my shoulder and we both look up to the sky. There are dark clouds and from a distance, thunder rumbles. I hold my breath, mentally counting down the milliseconds until another crack of lightning flashes across the sky.

"Mari, please come in. It looks as if we are in for another storm," calls Mother. I smile up at Anders and we both turn and wander back into the living room. He closes and locks the door behind us. Mother has just placed three wooden bowls of soup onto the table.

"Where's your brother?" she asks.

"He has gone to the tavern. I don't think he will return home tonight," I reply.

"Typical...He does that about twice a week. It makes me wonder if he doesn't have some lady friend," she says.

"Um...Mom, there is something you should know," I say as I reach for my spoon. The soup smells delicious and I eagerly have a mouthful. It has been well over twenty-four hours since I ate anything decent.

"There is nothing you can tell me about your brother that I don't already know. I am aware that he is quite the charmer," she says. I glance up from my meal and decide to rather keep my opinions to myself. I reach for his hand and he squeezes it reassuringly and I don't let go until he releases my hand. He scrapes his chair back and rubs his stomach.

"Maker, Leandra that was a delicious soup. I can't remember when last I ate a decent meal. Thank you," he says. I glance at her and she is smiling.

"It's a pleasure. We don't often have visitors because this one," she says, pointing to me, "prefers to spend time at the tavern with Varric."

I shrug my shoulders half-heartedly as I stand. I gather our empty bowls and I head into the kitchen. I quickly wash them and stack them on the table. They are ready to be used in the morning, whatever our meal may be. I head back into the living room and retrieve my backpack from the floor. I hoist it onto my shoulders and I glance at Anders. He comes towards me and removes it from my shoulders.

"What -?" just as the heavens open. I look out of window. It is raining so hard I can't even see the house across from ours and I realise with a sinking heart that we will have to stay here for the night. I don't say anything to them as I make my way into the room I share with Mother. I sit on the single bed under the window and look around. There is a double bunk on the opposite wall. It is where I slept, on the odd occasion I was home. I hear a knock, and I look up. Anders is leaning against the door-frame, with arms folded.

"Your Mother says she will sleep in Gamlen's room," he informs me.

"Oh...That was thoughtful of her," I murmur as I slowly remove my boots. I kick them under the bed. I pull my blouse over my head without undoing the buttons and I toss it onto the floor. He closes the door and comes towards me. He retrieves my blouse and folds it neatly before placing it on the lower bunk bed. I shimmy out of my skirt and give it to him. He folds it as well and places it on top of my blouse. I open the wardrobe and rummage around for my favorite blue chemise and a fresh pair of underwear. I remove my underclothes and pull on the fresh set. I scoot under the covers and wait for him to undress himself. He removes everything, except his shorts. I laugh. _Does he honestly think we are going to stay in our underclothes?_ He grins at me as he sits on the edge of the bed. I throw back my covers in an open invitation. He shakes his head in obvious amusement, but he climbs in behind me. He wraps his arms around me as I throw over the covers. He turns me so that I am half on my back and half on my side. He leans towards me and kisses me. It is...tentative and gentle at first, but it quickly intensifies. I turn onto my side and slide my leg between his. He rests his hand on the small of my back and presses me closer until I am flush against him. He caresses my back and his touch is gentle and tentative at the same time.

"Mmm...We should sleep," he murmurs.

"I know..." I murmur as he kisses my forehead.

"Sleep, Mari," he softly murmurs.

-o0o-

Something disturbs me out of my sleep and I strain my ears. It is still raining, but that is not what has disturbed me. Someone is banging on the front door. Mabari is barking from outside my bedroom door and I shake Anders awake.

"Hey, take it easy," he mutters.

"Someone is trying to get into the house," I whisper.

"Would you like me to check?" he asks, and before I reply, I hear another set of footsteps and someone opening the door.

"Do you think now is the time to come home drunk, Carver?" yells Mother. "And you banging on the door is enough to wake the dead."

"This is my home to, Mother," he yells.

"I don't care, Carver. I am sick and tired of you and your bloody attitude. You are too arrogant for your own good and you physically attacked my daughter. How could you, Carver?" she continues. I clap my hand over my mouth. My Mother never swears and I realise she is angry.

"Mother-?" he says.

"Don't even try and talk your way out of it this time. You have crossed too many lines and if you don't pull your act together, I want you out of my house, you understand?"

"But-?" he stammers.

"If you ever attack Marian again, I will have you arrested. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes," he replies. I hear heavy footfalls make their way to her room.

"Why are you sleeping in my room?" he asks.

"Because we have guests," she snaps.

"What? Are they here?" he yells, outraged and I press myself into Anders desperately seeking reassurance.

"He won't harm you," he murmurs as he tightens his arms around me.

"What is it to you, Carver? Did you expect me to allow them to leave in this weather?" she replies. I hear nothing, except footsteps walking away from my bedroom door, and the closing of another door – my brother's.

"Andy," I murmur.

"Ssh...I've got you," he says softly as he kisses my forehead. "Now try and sleep. I don't need you wasting you away."

I chuckle. "I can try, but I feel rather rattled."

"Go to sleep, Mari," he murmurs. I nestle into his arms and close my eyes.

o0o

Someone is nuzzling my neck and I open my eyes, only to close them again because of the blinding light of the sun shining through the window. The nuzzling persists and I force my eyes open only to stare into his eyes and I smile.

"Hey beautiful...Sleep well?" he asks.

"Sort of... And you?" I reply.

"I slept...well considering the disturbance in the early hours of the morning," he replies.

"I wonder if he is still here," I muse, referring to my brother.

"I heard him earlier apologising to your Mother," he replies.

"That won't excuse him, Anders. My Mother doesn't tolerate nonsense. She told me last night that she is at her wit's end about him. I told her I didn't care" I explain.

"Somehow, I don't believe you," he says.

"It's the truth. I don't care. Why should I?"

"He is your brother," he replies.

"I don't care, Anders. How can I when he physically attacked me yesterday?" I ask , annoyed and I slip out of his arms. I can't believe he is going to argue with me about this.

"Okay...Okay...Please come back to bed, Mari," he murmurs. I sigh and turn around. He is holding his hand towards me and against my better judgment – because I am annoyed with him – I take it anyway. He gently tugs me towards him until the bed prevents me from going any closer.

"Why?"

"Because I want to greet you," he replies. I can't resist him and I smile, all my annoyance fades away as I fall in next to him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me onto his chest and he kisses me.

"Good morning," he murmurs.

"Good morning," I whisper as I smile and kiss him. He smiles beneath my lips as he skims his hands along my back, to my hips and he curls his hands around my buttocks. His touch is feather light as he gently caresses me. I trail kisses along his jawline, to his chin and under it. He sighs as I graze my lips over his pulse. I move away from his neck, to his chest and I trail kisses along his breastbone. I follow the fine smattering of hair that runs from his chest, along his breastbone, past his bellybutton and his stomach muscles ripple and tense beneath my lips. I stop short of his pelvis and I work my way back

"Your happy trail," I murmur.

"It certainly is," he murmurs as he pulls me upwards until I am fully stretched out along his body. He gives me another kiss, before releasing me. I sit up and he rests his hands on my hips. I lift myself and with his assistance, I slowly sink onto him. I reach for his hands and entwine our fingers, providing me with balance and I begin our dance.

o0o

"Mari, before you go, I want to know something," asks Mother as Anders and I are about to leave. It is nearly mid-morning and he needs to get to his clinic.

"We need to go," I say as I glance at Anders.

"Don't be long...I will wait outside," he says. I wait for the door to close behind him and I face my Mother.

"What is it?"

"I know it is none of my business, but was he gentle with you?" she asks.

"Extremely and you are right it is none of your business," I murmur.

"I know...I just needed to know. Mari, will you please visit me?" she asks.

I approach her and embrace her. "Yes...Yes, I will visit you...With Anders," I reply.

"Thank the Maker. I can't bear the thought of not seeing you again," she says.

"Hey, you will...Just not as often as you would like," I murmur.

"It's a pity you feel you can't stay here," she says as she releases me. "I am really sorry about that."

"Me too. I need to go, Mom...I will visit...soon," I reassure her. I turn away from her and head to the door.

"Mari, I love you...Please don't forget that," she says.

"I love you too, Mom," I murmur. I glance at her, but she has turned away from me. She is shaking and I am torn. I am torn between her and Anders. I close my eyes.

"Mom, please don't worry about me. I promise to visit you soon," I murmur. If she hears me, she doesn't acknowledge me. I step onto the landing and I close the door behind me. _Why do I feel as if I have done something wrong?_

"Mari?" he asks as he reaches for my hands. I open my eyes and look at him.

"Let's go, Anders, before I change my mind," I murmur. He nods, and we slowly descend the stairs. I don't even look back.


	6. Salvation Book One Chapter Six

_**Chapter Six**_

A week has passed since I left home and I have never felt as blissfully happy as I feel today and that is because of...Anders. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye – he is healing a man who was injured in one of the many tavern brawls that occurs every night. I shake my head because it is not the first time this week we have attended to a patient who has obviously been in a brawl. Many of them sustained minor injuries such as deep gashes above their eyes due to them being attacked with ale or mead bottles. Sometimes there was the odd broken bone. He catches my eye and waves shyly at me. He has looked after me so well this week and it has been the best week I have ever experienced in my life. I hardly thought about my Mother and he keeps on pushing me to visit her... If I visit her, it would mean facing my brother and I don't want to see him. I gently touch my jawline and I wince. It is still tender and I decide it would be best if I massaged Elfroot salve onto it. I open his cupboard of medical supplies and I smile at the bottles lined neatly next to each other. It was my own handiwork and I spent a couple of hours tidying it yesterday much to his amusement. I find what I need and I wander over to him. He has just finished seeing to his patient and he smiles at me – it sends a warm glow to my happy place and I return his smile.

"So, what can I do for my beautiful girlfriend?" he murmurs. I show him the salve and he takes from me.

"Still bothering you?" he asks.

"Yes...it is tender," I reply.

"Mmm...I will have that fixed in no time," he murmurs.

"I know," I whisper as I stretch towards him.

"Wait, sweetie. Let me see to your jaw first," he murmurs. I settle back onto my feet and I can't hide my disappointed sigh.

"Hey, your patience will be rewarded," he reassures me.

"I...I know," I murmur as I trace small circles on his chest with my fingers.

"Look up," he murmurs. I do as he asks and he gently massages the salve along my jaw. I study his face... I lift my hand to his face and I thumb his cheek, earning a smile from him.

"So what do you intend doing today?" he asks.

"Why?" I frown.

"Well, are you going to-?" he can't say more because I have placed my finger on his lip.

"I'm not visiting her, Anders. No...not when..." I look away from him. "I'm afraid of my brother and what he may to do to me."

"I can go with you, Mari. I won't allow him to harm you again. If he does, there is no telling what I may do," he says.

"Andy, I can't... It has only been a week. I'm not ready," I murmur.

He sighs and curls his hands over my shoulder. "Okay...Okay... I understand."

"Do you, because I want to visit her, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what I may do. You know how it is," I whisper.

"I don't think you will harm Carver. You are better than that," he softly says as he grasps my chin between his thumb and forefinger.

"I wish I could believe that, Anders," I whisper as I finally look him in the eye.

He massages my cheek. "Why don't you believe that?"

"Because of what I am..." I reply.

"Sweetie, don't speak like that. You are kind, compassionate and you are beautiful. What must I do to show you how beautiful you are in your heart?" he says as he places his hand over my heart. "Because you have captured my heart," he continues.

"Andy," I whisper as I stretch towards him. He meets me halfway and he kisses me. He cups my face with both hands, without breaking our kiss. I curl my hands over his wrists as he deepens our kiss. He gently moves his hand away from my face, all along my arm, down my side and he curls it around my buttocks, encouraging me towards him and I step that much closer.

"Mmm..." he murmurs as he curls his other hand around my buttocks. He gently presses me flush against him as he kisses me again. I start working his buttons. Once I have unbuttoned the top three, I rest my hands flat against his chest and I smile at the thump-thump of his heart and the warmth he exudes and I slowly work my way down, unbuttoning his shirt until it hangs open. I skim my fingers along the contours of his stomach and he sighs. He reaches for my hands before I rest them on his hips and he brings them to my lips as the door opens. We let out a collective sigh and he gently pushes me away. I give him a questioning glance. He mouths _Aveline_ before he turns away to button his shirt. I quickly turn around and I launch myself into her arms. I have not seen since we assisted Anders.

"And this, Mari?" She laughs as she returns my embrace.

"I have missed you," I reply.

"Well, I was worried about you... I've just been to your Mother's. She says she hasn't seen you in over a week... Why?" she asks, cutting to the chase. I step away from her and turn around.

"I...I left home, Aveline," I reply as I wander over to the desk which has seen better days and I blush. We made love on the desk two days ago. The memory makes me blush even more.

"Why? She is worried about you," she says.

"Why should she be worried about me? I am twenty five, Aveline and I should be allowed to make my own decisions. Is she worried because I have moved in with a man I hardly know? Or did she neglect to tell you the real reason as to why I left? I am falling in love with him, Aveline...," I murmur.

"And what about him? Does he know-?" she asks.

"About my status? Of course he knows. I told him on the day we first came here... He knows as much as I have told him or as much I have been willing to tell him," I reply.

"And it doesn't bother you what he is? Because to me, he is...dangerous," she says.

"He is not dangerous, Aveline. He made a choice just like me and I am not going to judge him because of it. He won't hurt me," I reply.

"You don't know that, Marian and this is unlike you... To become attached to someone – a man no less – so quickly. What if it doesn't last? What if he does hurt you? What then?" she asks.

"He will not hurt me, Aveline. He is not Carver!" I snap as I walk away from her.

"I never said he was... Mari, what are you not telling me? Your Mother was just as vague and defensive as you are now," she says.

I whirl around. "He hit me, Aveline. He hit me so hard he broke my jaw and nose and sent me sprawling along the living room floor. You ask me why I left home. This is why," I yell. I am fuming. My blood is boiling. She has no right to come here and tell me how to live my life.

"And Anders is the opposite... He cares for me, Aveline. He really cares for me... The little things... A touch on my hand or a quick kiss on my cheek... He cares," I whisper.

Your brother hit you? Why?" she asks as she comes towards me, hands held up in a placating gesture.

"I brought Anders home, Aveline and my brother hit me because of it...And my Mother was less than impressed with me for bringing him home after I spent the night with him."

"What?" she asks, trying and failing to look stern. I want to laugh at her shocked expression, but I find that I can't – I am too upset and angry with her.

I sigh. "Yes, Aveline... He did, before you ask if we did... We did... It was the most exciting experience for me. For both of us, I think. I felt...whole...complete...and I think he felt the same."

"Marian Amell-Hawke... I... He was gentle, I hope?" she says.

"Aveline, it was perfect and since then, they have...become intense... It's difficult to explain..." I explain.

"Where is he? I would like a few words with him," she says, and on cue – as if he has been waiting for the opportunity – he emerges from his room, and saunters towards me as if he has all the time in the world. I shake my head in amusement.

"Sweetie," he murmurs as he slips his arm around my waist and he pulls me right against him as if proving a point. Aveline notices and she laughs.

"So what do you want to know, Aveline?" he quietly asks.

"Are your intentions honourable because if I find out they aren't, I will be very angry. Marian has been through a lot, Anders. Especially since the death of her father and I don't want to see her get hurt. She has been through enough... I may have only known her for a year, but we are extremely close due to the circumstances that brought us to _Kirkwall_. She...and she won't mind me tell you this..." she says, glancing at me. I shrug my shoulders and she continues...

"She can be vulnerable at times... She has...terrible nightmares, but I am sure you will discover all of that for yourself."

"Aveline, I have already seen her vulnerable and her nightmares...are something else, but I care for her in a way we are trying to understand...and for the record, my intentions are honourable. I know you saw what I became...But perhaps you will grow to understand...in time," he says.

She laughs. "I have known Marian for a year now and I have yet to understand why she did what she did... I may never understand it, but...for the record, I love her and I care deeply for her and I will do anything to protect her," she declares.

"Enough...I will not have you both trying to protect me," I say as I give him a knowing glance. He shrugs his shoulders, leans towards me and whispers that he will protect me regardless. I shake my head and laugh at him.

"We have already established that," I murmur.

"Oh...Alright," Aveline says in exasperation and I laugh at her.

"I love you to, Aveline..." I murmur.

"Mmm...I guess I can't convince you to come back with me to visit your Mother," she says.

"No...I am not ready to go home yet and...What about Carver?" I whisper.

"Yes...That is something else that concerns her. She told me that he comes home drunk every night. She doesn't know what to do with him... I suppose it's asking too much of you-?"

"If you think I am going to speak to him... I will do no such thing, Aveline. He physically attacked me. Am I supposed to just forget about that? He broke my jaw, for the Maker's sake. I have never been so humiliated in my life and for what? Because I brought Anders home...Because of what we both are. He dominated my sister into submission and I am not about to allow him to do the same to me." I turn around and plead with Andy to do anything to control my hurt and anger. My blood is boiling and if... _No_... I stagger away from him. I glance at my fingers and the magic is seeping out of them.

"Andy, please," I whimper as I reach out and he quickly enfolds me in his arms.

"It's okay, sweetie. Just relax... I'm here," he murmurs. I cling to his shirt, trying to keep my emotions from spiraling out of control. I am so tense, my shoulders are aching and my head is throbbing and I close my eyes.

"I can't expect her to go back, Aveline. Not until she feels she is ready... Perhaps...Perhaps bringing Leandra here would be a better idea," he suggests.

"Mmm...Perhaps it is... Listen, I will speak to her, but for now, I will leave you to look after her... I also came here to tell her that I may have work for her, but I don't think now is the time to discuss it..." she says.

"What type of work?" as I turn around to look at her. He slips his arms around my waist and holds me flush against him. I close my eyes a second time and I revel in his warmth. It permeates every cell in my body right to my bones.

"Are you sure you want to know?" she asks.

"I need work. Otherwise I can kiss this expedition goodbye," I reply, lifting my chin in determination.

"Okay...There have been too many similar reports of ambushes occurring in one particular stretch in _Sundermount_," she says.

"_Sundermount_? Isn't that where I am supposed to take that amulet?".

"Yes...I suppose we could do it all in one go depending on what we may find," she replies.

"When is the next ambush supposed to take place?"

"In a few days, Mari... Mmm...Are you interested?" she asks.

"Of course I am, but that means I would have to include my brother." I reply, looking away from her.

"Why? We have Varric... There's Anders and me... You and Anders are both mages... We don't need a second swordsman... We don't have to include him, Mari," she says.

"But he will be furious..." I whisper.

"Shit...He has really frightened you this time, Mari...The bastard. If he touches you again, I will personally arrest him," she declares. "In fact, when I return to your Mother's and if he is there, I am going to tell him that."

"My Mom already threatened him, but whether he took her seriously, I would not know... Fine... I will assist you... When is this supposed ambush going to take place?"

"A couple of days from now, but I will let you know once I know for certain," she replies. "Well, I best be off... Please take care of yourself, Mari and don't shut your Mother out. She loves you and right now, she is hurting... You need to see her and she needs to see you... I will see what I can do about bringing you here."

"Okay... Thank you..." I murmur.

"Now how about embracing me or are Anders' arms too comfortable?" she teases.

I laugh. "They are very comfortable and I am sure I can be apart from them in order to embrace you."

"Mari," she murmurs as we embrace. "Please...Please look after yourself. If you need me, you know where to find me," she whispers for me alone.

"I know...Thank you for being a friend. I love you, Aveline," I murmur.

"Likewise... See you soon," she says. I slip back into his arms as she makes her way to the doors. She turns around, smiles at me and with the click of the door, she is gone leaving us alone and I am relieved. I turn around and slip my arms around his neck. He is frowning about something.

"Hey... She is gone now," I murmur.

"Are you okay? You look...I don't know...Pale," he murmurs.

"What do you expect?" I murmur. I stare directly into his eyes, awaiting his response. It is not forthcoming, so I disentangle my arms from around his neck.

"I...I am going to lie down for a while, Anders. I don't feel all that well," I murmur. I don't wait for him to say anything and I am by the bedroom door. I sigh as I grip the doorknob. I lean my head against the door and take slow deep breaths. I don't know what my problem is. All I know is that I need time...alone, but do I really want that? I stand there for a minute, deep in thought and I realise I don't want to be alone. I want to be with him. I am about to turn around and tell that when he slips his arms around me, turning me to face him in the process. I glance at him as I lean against the door for support because all my strength seems to have disappeared and my legs are shaking.

"Mari," he murmurs as he opens the door to our small room, and leads me to the bed. He gently pushes me onto it and then he sits next to me. He curls his hand over my thigh and I shyly look at him.

"You know what you need?" he asks. I shake my head.

"A cup of tea... How does that sound?" he replies.

I smile. "If you are making it, then I don't mind."

"Or I have a better idea," he softly murmurs as he massages my thigh and I laugh.

"Couldn't we have tea first?" I tease. He feigns disappointment and I laugh. I touch his nose and he smiles at me. I move closer to him and curl my hand over his thigh. He doesn't need any further encouragement and he is kissing me with ardent fervour. He unbuttons my blouse in no time and he pushes it off my shoulders and tosses it onto the floor as I unbutton his shirt. I need to feel him skin-to-skin. I need to feel him sliding along my body and holding me in his arms as if I am the most precious thing to him. Yes, I am love with the man and he is in love with me. We just have to say the words...And we will, when the time is right.

-o0o-

I awake feeling refreshed and more at ease. I feel around for him, but he is not next to me as expected. He won't be. He has a Clinic to run and I stifle my disappointed sigh as I reluctantly slip off the bed. I am stiff, much to my surprise and I stretch my arms above my head and then I bend over to touch my toes. I straighten myself and I no longer feel stiff. As I look around for my clothes, I hear voices – several of them – and I frown. I quickly grab my blouse from the floor and I put it on. I find my pants and pull them on. I don't bother putting boots on. Why should I? I open the door and peer out into his Clinic. He is standing at his desk... I widen the door and I notice Mother sitting on the chair. I am surprised, but pleased to see that she is here as well as Aveline. I can't believe it. My Mother is here...and a hard lump forms in my throat and I realise how much I have missed her, even though we have differences and that doesn't seem to matter now. I move further in and stop. Anders, Aveline and my Mother are chatting. I don't want to know what it is about. I just want to see my Mother.

"Mom?" I manage to croak out. I find that I cannot move. I feel anxious even though it is not necessary.

"Mom!" I call a little a louder and dead silence falls upon us. She turns around.

"Mom," I sob as I force my legs to move. She is up before I even get to her and when I do, I fling my arms around her.

"Oh Mari... My baby... There is no need for tears... Come now..." she murmurs. I smile through my tears because the tears are streaming down her cheeks.

"Mom," I whisper.

"Oh Mari...I have been so worried about you..." she murmurs.

"Why? You know I am safe here... He won't harm me, Mom... He has been so good to me," I whisper.

"Mmm...I can see that... You do look much better...Happier, even. If I had known this is what you needed... I am just pleased to see you looking so well, although you could do with a bit of colour in your cheeks," she murmurs, embracing me again.

"I've missed you," I whisper.

"I...I know...It's not the same without you and Mabari, he misses you, Mari. In fact, I did bring him with me, but he went off to explore his surroundings," she says.

"Not anymore," says Anders. I release my Mom and turn around. Mabari is by the door with his head cocked to the side. I kneel and he bounds towards me. He sends me flying and then he is all over me, licking my face and hands.

"Easy boy," I murmur. He gives me one final lick on the nose before he sits next to me. I sit up and wrap my arms around him. He has been the one constant thing in my life. He is loyal no matter what. Nothing compares to the bond I share with my faithful hound. He rumbles low in his throat. He only does that to me. I release him and take his big head into my hands and I stare deeply into his grey-red eyes. He is grey with red markings around his eyes. The only pup to be born as such in his litter of about ten others. He whines softly and then he licks my nose. He lies down with his head on my lap and I gently pet him behind his ears.

"Mari," murmurs Anders as he drops a cloth into my lap. I look up at him and smile. I clean my face from all the slobber and I hand it back to him.

"Mom, how are things back at Gamlen's house?" I ask. She sits in the chair and looks down at me, brow furrowed.

"Not good... Your brother is going to drive me to drink if he doesn't change his ways. He is sullen all the time and he is so moody. He drinks far too much. Maker knows where he finds the sovereigns because I sure as hell haven't seen a cent," she says.

"You...You can't expect me to speak to him, because I am not going to..." I politely inform her.

"And I don't expect you to, but Mari, I have something to ask of you and you are going to have to take your brother whether you want to or not," she firmly says.

"What is it?" deciding to rather not mention him again.

"I have the key to the Amell Estate. I would like you and Carver to enter from the cellar and clear it out of the slave traders who have taken it over. I believe the entrance is not far from here. It is just outside, concealed," she says.

"What is so important?"

"The _Will_ my parents left for me. Gamlen told me he left it in a chest in the cellar... I need that Will, Mari... If anything, I will be able to take it the Viscount and perhaps we can get back the estate. It belongs to the Amells... Please will you do this for me? Just put aside your feelings of anger towards your brother and get me that _Will_. It could be the answer to many things," she replies.

"Is that why you are here?" I ask, barely hiding my disappointment.

She frowns. "No...I am here to see my daughter whom I haven't seen in well over a week. I just thought you would want to know."

"Are you sure it is the answer?" I whisper.

"Mari, that estate belongs to me and if we can reclaim what is rightfully ours, then it will be worth it. To be honest, if you find the _Will_ and if I am granted an audience with the Viscount and we reclaim the estate, I would like to put it in your name and then at least you will have a home to come to and if Anders would like to, he can move in," she replies.

"Mom, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I still have to find sovereigns for the expedition," I inform her.

"I know, but just think about that..." she says. I lapse into silence. She is right. If we reclaimed our home, it would benefit all of us and the thought of all of us living together under the same roof sounds most appealing. I look up and directly into his light brown eyes.

"What do you think, Andy?"

"We should look into it and don't worry about Carver. I am sure Aveline will assist us in clearing out the slave traders from the bottom up," he replies.

I glance at Aveline and search her face for signs of something. "Please help us?"

"Of course I will... Leandra, when would you like us to investigate?" she asks.

"Soon...Tomorrow if you can... I would like to know for certain...That way we can all relax and you never know, you might find some sovereigns," she says.

I smile at her. "I can't resist that, Mom...Okay...We will investigate tomorrow. Tell Carver to meet us here at about ten am... Is...Does that suit you, Anders?"

"Surely you know I will do anything for you?" he asks.

"No...But you have just told me now..." I tease.

"I suppose I have..." he replies as he takes my outstretched hands. I need to stretch because I am stiff again. He pulls me to my feet and grins at me. I want to embrace him, but he pushes me away.

"Sweetie, you know I am not that keen on...hounds," he says.

"Anders, he is no ordinary hound," I murmur. Mabari barks in agreement and holds out his paw.

"Shake it, Anders...He won't bite," I tease. I watch as he reluctantly takes the hound's paw, and gives it a firm shake. Mabari barks.

"Anders, he approves," I tease.

"What? You need his approval so that we...We are already in a relationship. One that I hope will last a long time," he murmurs. I realise he is saying it to put Mother at ease.

"We are already bound for life, Andy. Our marks prove that," I murmur.

"I know...I was only saying," he murmurs.

I touch his cheek. "I was only teasing you."

"I know..." he murmurs as he gently reaches for my hand, entwining our fingers in the process.

"I certainly think it is going to last...What do you think, Aveline?" asks Mother.

"I think it is only fair for me say wait and see...," she replies.

I laugh. "Not that it matters. We have already made the decision."

"Apparently so... I need to go, Mari...," says Mother as she stands and approaches me.

My heart sinks. "Do you really have to go now?"

"Yes, I do... And don't look so disheartened... You will see me tomorrow," she murmurs as she embraces me.

"I love you, Mom," I whisper.

"Oh Mari...I know that. I love you regardless," she murmurs.

"Oh Mom...I have wanted to hear you say that for such a long time," I murmur, a warm glow spreading throughout my body.

"I know we have had our differences, but I have had time to think about things over the last week. I was wrong being unkind to you, because no matter what, you are still my daughter and you always will be my daughter..." she murmurs.

"Mom," I murmur.

"You can let me go, Mari... I am not far away. You are free to visit any time... I love you..." she says as she pushes me away. She approaches Anders. They look at each for a while and then she embraces him. She whispers something to him because he catches my eye over her shoulders and grins at me.

"Leandra, she will be safe with me...I care for her," he says.

"I can see that. You look after her for me, Anders," she murmurs.

"I will, you have my word," he murmurs.

"Thank you... Tomorrow, Mari?" she asks.

"Yes..." I reply.

"Alright then, I will see you soon," she murmurs. I say goodbye to Aveline and Mabari who whines sadly.

"I will see you soon," I promise. He barks and bounds out of the Clinic followed by Mother and Aveline. I turn away and make my way back into the room. I need time to gather my thoughts and prepare myself for my task tomorrow. It does not please me that I will see my brother tomorrow. In fact, my stomach is in tight knots because of nerves and anxiety. I pace restlessly the length of our room. It does not ease my anxiety at all. What if he hurts me again? I squeeze my eyes shut in the hopes it will drive my thoughts to the far reaches of my mind, but all I see are a pair of angry dark blue eyes that are full of loathing and jealousy. I don't understand him at all, but what is there to understand if he can physically harm a family member? I shudder as the memory floods back and as a reminder, my jaw twinges. I am not surprised. He broke it after all and it is going to take time to heal properly. I decide that I need time with Anders. I wander out of the room and I find him sitting at his desk. I quietly approach him and slip my arms around him. I kiss his cheek and move around. He leans back in his chair and I sit on his lap, facing him with my legs on either side of his. He slips his arms around my waist.

"How do you feel about what your Mother wants you to do?" he asks.

"I want to help her... It is the least I can do for her, but I don't want to face him," I reply.

"But you are going to have no choice, Mari," he says as he moves his hands along my arms, to my shoulders.

"You are tense," he says quietly as he gently massages them. I close my eyes and wriggle them.

"I know, but I am sure you know of a way to ease my tense shoulders," I tease.

"I do...But you are going to have to wait until I have locked my Clinic and tidied up... You can always help me," he says as he gently pushes me off his lap. I sit on the desk as he stands. He leans towards me and kisses me. I expect him to stop, but he lifts me further onto the desk.

"Mmm...What happened to locking the Clinic and my shoulder massage?" I murmur.

"We won't be disturbed. It's late, Mari," he replies. He doesn't give me a chance to reply and he is kissing me with much the same fervour as earlier today and I wrap my arms and legs around him, cradling him in such a way that he has little room to move, but the friction between us is exquisite and I am proved right by the low sound of approval he makes low in his throat and I give him an answering sigh.


	7. Salvation Book One Chapter Seven

_**Chapter Seven**_

"We have a home, Mom...A real home," I murmur after she has perused the _Will_ for the fourth time in half-an-hour. We found the _Will _after fighting our way through slave traders none of whom shall ever see the light of day again because Aveline arrested them and sent them to the Keep dungeons for further questioning. I wander to the chair and sit. Anders returned to his Clinic as soon as we found the _Will_, leaving me at the mercy of my brother who did nothing but scowl at my on our way to Gamlen's house. I glance at my Mother and she is reading the _Will _again. She can't believe it. I read the _Will_ before we walked in and I know exactly what it says. It says that her Father – my grandfather – left everything to her, including the Estate. I can't help smiling at the joy on her face, but it was difficult getting the _Will_. I reflect back...

-o0o-

_Four hours earlier..._

_I am outside the entrance to the Amell Cellar. Both Anders and Aveline are with me and they are watching me with mild amusement. I roll my eyes at them and all they do is laugh. I saunter towards Anders and I playfully swat him on the arm. He grins at me and pulls me into his arms and embraces me. I feel warm and safe and I slide my arms around his waist and rest my hands on his strong buttocks._

"_He is late, Anders," I mutter as pull myself out of his arms. I begin pacing in front of them. "I have half a mind to go without him."_

"_Then why don't you?" I whirl around and Carver is staggering up the stairs looking as if he has had a heavy night. He stops in front of me and I step away. He reeks of liquor. I find that I don't have anything to say to him. All I feel is anger. We are supposed to do this for my Mother and he chooses to show up as drunk as a lord. I am disgusted._

"_You are an absolute disgrace," I manage to spit out as Anders pulls me away from him._

"_And I suppose you think you are so perfect living it up with your mage boyfriend," he mutters._

"_At least I am not spending my nights getting drunk, Carver," I spit out._

"_Yes, bedding the mage," he taunts. I bristle and I shrug free of Anders' grasp and I approach Carver. He doesn't even flinch as I raise my hand and clench it into a tight fist. I am ready to smack the smirk off his face, but a warm hand closes over my wrist._

"_Let...me...go... Why should he be allowed to get away with it?" I say._

"_Mari... He is not worth it..," murmurs Anders as he half drags, half pulls me away from him. He gently turns me around and places his hands on his shoulders._

"_Just let it go... If you hit him, you are no better than he is... And I know you are better than he is... Just let it go... Let's find your Mother's Will. The sooner we find it, the better for all of us," he says._

"_How can you be so reasonable?"_

"_Because I don't want to see my girlfriend sink to the same level as your brother. You are better than he is," he replies._

"_Mmm...You would say that, mage... Bedding her and all," says Carver. Anders glares over my shoulders, but he makes no move to do or say anything._

"_Carver, I am warning you, back off or I will arrest you... Let's see how you will enjoy spending a few weeks doing hard labour in the Barracks," warns Aveline._

"_I am not afraid of you," he murmurs._

_I turn around. "Stop being so bloody petulant, Carver. Mom asked me to find the Will for her. If you can't even do that for her, then go...Just go and leave me to my task."_

_I reach for Anders' hand and I stalk past Carver, towards the entrance to the Cellar. I pause, as I pull aside the dusty old sheet and there it is – a wooden door with the Amell Family Crest. I can't hide my smile. Mother drew it out for me back in Lothering when I enquired about her childhood home. I turn around and wait patiently for Carver to hand me the key. He pats his pockets – I hear the jingle of coin and I frown._

"_I suggest you give me the coins as well, Carver," I say as I warily approach him._

"_Fine...Here...It's all I have," he mutters as he empties out his pockets. He hands the key to me as well as...I gape at him._

"_Five sovereigns? And you intended keeping it for yourself? You little shit... Mom needs the sovereigns, Carver. How can you be so bloody selfish?"_

"_Well...I have needs..." he explains as he looks away from me._

"_Don't use that as an excuse... I cannot believe it... And you sound like Gamlen... How many times has he said that to Mom?" I ask as I turn away from him, shaking my head in disbelief. I stick the key into the keyhole and to my surprise, it unlocks easily. I am not surprised – not with the activities that have undoubtedly occurred with the slave trading that goes on in this city..._

-o0o-

"Mari?" calls Mother, bringing me back to the present. I shake my head to clear it as I fumble in my pockets for the sovereigns I took from Carver and my hand closes over a coin purse...

-o0o-

_I open the ornate chest bearing the Amell Crest and in it lies a sealed document bearing the seal of the Viscount's office and next to it, there is a coin purse. I eagerly reach for it and weigh it in my hand. There must be at least ten sovereigns. I feel a sense of excitement as I pocket the purse. I reach down and remove the sealed document. I tap it against my chin, thinking whether I should read it or give it to Mother, sealed. I decide I want to know for myself and I break the seal. I quickly peruse it. I turn around and grin at everyone._

"_Is there anything else?" I ask, glancing around the cellar, but there are no more chests. "We should go and tell Mom the good news," I murmur._

-o0o-

"Mari, are you listening to me?" calls Mother, breaking me out of my deep reverie. I sit up straight, frowning at her.

"What?"

"Please say you will stay for lunch?" she asks.

"Um...I need to get back to Anders," I murmur as I remove the coin purse from my pocket and I place it on the table in front of me. I fumble around for the sovereigns I received from Carver and I throw them out onto the table next to the coin purse.

"No...I can't take this from you, Mari... Keep it... For your expedition," she says as she pushes it towards me.

"But you need it, Mom," I murmur.

"No...I don't... I have enough," she says.

"I don't believe you, Mom... Take it, please?" I implore.

"But your expedition?" she says.

"Mom," I murmur.

"Mari, no, you keep the coin purse and I will take the five sovereigns. It is enough to buy food for the week and from there, I will find a way," she says.

"Mom, but," I murmur.

"Mari, you need the sovereigns for your expedition and you have done enough for me. I am so grateful you found the Will... I am going to petition the Viscount for the estate and the rest I will leave for the Maker to decide and as for you, Carver, you are to find employment. You are to stop your drinking... I am giving you one more chance...Disappoint me and you will be out on the street," she says quietly as she stands.

"But where?" he says.

"I don't care... Find a way, Carver and don't expect Marian to do all the work... At least she is trying unlike you..." she says.

"I am not her, Mother..." he says as he straightens his shoulders.

"I don't care... You will do as I tell you otherwise you will have to find your own way...Far away from me and far away from Marian," she says. He glares at her before heading to his room where he slams the door behind him.

"Mom?" I enquire as I move towards her.

She reaches for my hands. "I have had it with him, Mari... I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know where I have gone wrong with him, but he is so arrogant and so full of himself... I...I know you and I have our differences, but you are different... More sensible. More responsible, somehow, not that you weren't," she murmurs.

"Aveline has work for me, Mom... I am to assist her tomorrow with an ambush in Sundermount. She says it will pay well," I inform her.

"What about Varric, Mari? When last have you spoken to him?" she asks.

"Last week when we assisted Anders... I haven't seen or spoken to him since then...Perhaps I will go there before I return to Anders... Perhaps he has work for me," I reply.

"Perhaps he does... Please have lunch with me?" she says, releasing my hands.

"I would love to...I just wish Andy were here with me..." I murmur as I grab the coin purse on my way into the kitchen. I don't want to leave it lying around for my brother to get his hands on.

"Do you need my help?"

"No...I am going to prepare a salad for us and I will ensure there is enough for your young man," she teases.

"Oh Mom," I murmur. My cheeks feel too warm all of a sudden.

"I think he is good for you, Mari. There is something about him... He reminds of your Father... He has that same gentleness that attracted me to him in the first place," she says.

"I...I haven't thought about it," I admit.

"That is because you are smitten, Marian. You can't stop thinking about him and you want to spend all your time with him... You are in love with him, Mari, whether you realise it or not," she says. "And I think he is in love with you," she continues as she fills the pot with water.

"We haven't openly told each other... We don't have to...Our actions speak louder than words," I murmur.

"I suppose you will tell each other when the time is right... Tell me about him," she says.

"He hasn't said too much to me, Mom and I haven't told him too much either... It's still early days...," I murmur.

"But you have marked each other... Why hold back? As far as I know it is mark for life... A bond between two mage souls... One with the other..." she says softly.

"We will, in time, open up a bit more... All I know is that he was sent to the Circle when he was twelve and he became friends with Solona Amell," I explain.

"Solona Amell?" she says as she turns around.

"Yes, he knew her, Mom..." I explain.

"That's my sister's child...," she says.

"Andy told me she joined the Grey Wardens because she assisted a blood mage. He said it was about two years ago. He told me he has not seen her since then. Not even when he was stationed at the Grey Warden Headquarters at Vigil's Keep in Amaranthine."

"Is Anders a Grey Warden?" she asks.

"Yes he is...He was conscripted by Queen Elyssa Cousland," I reply.

"King Alistair's wife?" she asks.

"Yes, the same," I reply.

"Did he say why he was conscripted?" she asks.

"Yes...He was running from the templars, Mom... They would have arrested him and taken him to the Fereldan Circle and more than likely made him tranquil if it weren't for the King's permission," I explain.

"You really don't know much about him, do you?" she asks as she places a mug of tea in front of me.

"Mom...I know where you are going with this and what does it matter how well I know him or not? Isn't it enough that I am blissfully happy for the first time in years?"

"Okay...Okay... I won't say much more... I am pleased you have found happiness. Maker knows, you deserve it...Now drink your tea whilst I prepare something for us to eat," she says.

-o0o-

I am on my way to the tavern after spending lunch with Mother. We have just said our goodbyes and she made me promise to visit her soon. Our lunch went well. We spent most of the time in relative silence. The only disturbance we had was when my brother slammed the door closed on his way out. I sigh as I stand in front of the tavern doors. They are open for a change and there seems to be a lot of activity going on inside. I hesitate. I don't really want to go in there. I want to go to home to Anders, but I need to speak to Varric. I sigh as I reluctantly step inside and my jaw drops. There is a full on brawl going on between a woman and three men. I wander further in, seeking out Varric's and I find him sitting at his table. I make a wide berth to avoid the scuffle. No-one seems to want to intervene and I am definitely not getting involved. I hear a whistling sound. I whip around and duck as a dagger whizzes over me, just missing my head. I look for the source and a woman is coming towards me, wiping the blood off her face and the men she was fighting with are crawling out of the tavern. I glare at her as I straighten myself and I approach her.

"You nearly took my head off," I mutter. She stops in front of me. She has dark brown _come-hither_ eyes. She has a dark complexion and she has long brown hair. She is wearing a blue bandana, a white blouse that barely covers her midriff and she is a wearing a blue skirt that barely covers her nether regions.

She laughs a soft throaty laugh. "Do you like what you see?"

"What? No... I am not into women, thank you very much," I reply although I can't prevent my cheeks from overheating under her sultry, seductive gaze.

"Are you sure?" she asks, stepping closer to me.

"Don't come any closer," I warn, holding up my hands in a defensive stance. "You nearly took my head off, remember?"

She immediately sobers. "I know and I apologise, but those men, they annoyed me. They promised to find something for me. They failed and they still expect payment. I refused," she trails away.

"You sure know how to handle yourself, though," I say.

"Mmm...You are new around here, aren't you?" she asks.

"No...I have been in Kirkwall for well over a year... I come here frequently... Well, I used to until I," I trail away.

"Until what?" she asks.

"Never mind... What is your name?" I politely ask.

"Oh...I am Isabela, previously captain of the _Siren's Call_. Since my ship was destroyed during one of the many famous _Kirkwall storms_, the title rings...hollow," she says as she folds her arms.

"So you owned a ship? Impressive," I murmur.

"Yes...For ten years, but now she is gone..." she replies.

"I am sorry about that," I say.

"There's no need... Wait... You sound Fereldan," she states.

"I am... Why?"

"You have that look about you... I was in Ferelden about six or so months ago..." she quietly says.

"My family and I used to have a home in _Lothering_, just off the _Imperial Highway_, until the darkspawn forced us to leave, that is," I explain.

"So you landed up in _Kirkwall_? Why this city of all places?" she enquires as she motions to an empty table.

"Actually, I am here to see a friend. Join us," I suggest.

"Mmm...Okay... Would you like a drink?" she asks.

"Cider..." I reply as we wander over to the bar.

"It's the least I can do seen that I nearly took of your head with my dagger," she teases.

"Please don't worry about it... Just be careful next time," I tease.

She laughs. "I like you... What is your name?"

"Marian... Marian Amell-Hawke," I reply.

"Pleased to meet you, Marian," she murmurs. We receive our drinks. I notice she has ordered a bottle of whiskey for herself. I roll my eyes in amusement. She and my brother would be well-suited. I am still smiling as we sit at Varric's table.

"Varric," I greet him.

"Marian Amell-Hawke... Where have you been lately? Aveline's been vague on the details although she did mention a certain mage when she was here last night," he says.

"It's good to see you to, Varric. This is Isabela, previously captain," I say.

"Ah...A pirate queen... What stories I could make up," he says.

She laughs. "And do I have stories, Varric. Perhaps I will tell them to you someday." She leans back in her chair and has a long sip of whiskey.

"So, are you going to tell me what is going with you and the mage?" he enquires.

"What is there to tell, Varric?"

"I don't know... Roses... Lilies... The list is endless," he replies.

"Shut up...And just to ease your mind, I am living with him now," I inform him.

"Why?" he asks.

"Because I left home," I reply as I have a sip of cider. I feel a sudden urge to be with Anders.

"Why?" he asks.

"Carver hit me," I quietly reply.

"What? Why?" he asks.

I sigh. "Varric, I am not here to speak about my personal life to you... I am here to ask a favour."

"He hit you? Wait till I get my hands on him," he says as he glances around the tavern. His eyes narrow and I turn around. He is at the bar, looking directly at me.

"He's rather handsome... Carver, you say?" she asks.

"Yes...That is my brother, Carver..." I reply, turning away from him. I have lost the urge to be here. I have another sip of my cider.

"Varric, do you have work for me?"

"Oh Mari, not at the moment, but there is a possibility of some work, but my sources are not reliable... I will let you know," he replies.

"Varric, you told me you were the eyes and ears of _Kirkwall_, yet you have no work for me? How am I supposed to find the sovereigns to go on this expedition that is slipping out of my reach with each passing day?"

"I know what I told you... Look there might be something. It involves the Qunari. I don't know the details, but I know of someone who does, but he is less than reliable... Would you like me arrange a meeting?" he asks.

"I don't care... I need the sovereigns. Do what you can, please?" I murmur.

He sighs. "Okay... I will see what I can do."

"Thank you and I have a favour to ask of you..." I murmur.

"What?" he asks.

"I need your assistance tomorrow with something Aveline is checking out... Apparently there is an ambush that might be taking place on _Sundermount_... Come with me and bring your faithful friend," I murmur.

"Ah...Bianca could do with the exercise..." he says.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yes..." he replies.

"Excellent," I murmur. I drain the last of my cider, and stand. "I need to go, Varric, otherwise Anders will come looking for me. I have been gone longer than I expected. I am sure, by now, he is worried about me."

"Ah...So there is something going on between you..." he teases.

"Oh, go away... I am not saying much more," I tease.

"Then I will just have to make it up as I go along," he says.

I laugh. "Then do so, by all means. See you, Varric and it was a pleasure meeting you, Isabela."

"Mmm..." she murmurs, distracted and I follow her gaze. She cannot take her eyes off my brother and he is literally squirming in his seat. He stands, downs his drink and saunters towards us. She stands and before he realises she has flung herself at him.

"You are a handsome fellow," she purrs and without second thought on his part, he kisses her. I look away... If he wants to sleep with every women that comes his way, then so be it. I don't want to know, see or even hear about. I walk past them without acknowledging them and with a blessed sigh of relief I step out into the late afternoon sunshine.

-o0o-

"Andy," I whisper as I slip my arms around him. He is at his desk, writing in his journal. I've discovered he enjoys writing in his journal and he writes in it every day. I don't know what he writes about, but it keeps him very occupied. I smile as I kiss his cheek. He drops his feathered pen and turns around, opening his arms for me and I gladly sit on his lap. I lean towards him and I kiss him, molding my lips to his compliant ones. He sighs. It only encourages me. I deepen our kiss as I thread my fingers through his hair. He slips his arms under my arms and curls his hands around my shoulders, holding me intimately close.

"I've missed you," I murmur as I move away from his mouth.

"Mmm...So have I, although I have seen a fair number of patients since I returned after assisting you. What did your Mother say?" he asks.

"She was so relieved...The house is rightfully hers," I murmur. I graze my lips along his jawline whilst I unbuckle his belt. He skims his hands along my legs, to my thighs where he works my belt.

"That is good news, Mari... How do you feel about it?"

"Mmm...I am relieved. She wants to petition the Viscount for ownership," I reply.

"I...I don't think she will have a problem... If the _Will_ says the Estate is hers...then it is hers," he softly says as he pushes me away. He stands, grabs my hand and leads me into our room. As soon as he has closed the door, he backs me up against the wall, and kisses me. He slips his arms around me and lifts me and I wrap my legs around his waist. He trails kisses along my jaw as he backs towards the bed. He turns around and we fall onto the bed together. He kisses my forehead before rolling onto his back next to me. I turn onto my stomach and rest my head on his chest.

"Are you ready for what we need to do tomorrow?" he asks.

"Yes...But...Shit," I murmur as I quickly scramble off him. I retrieve my backpack from under the bed and I pull out the amulet. I swing it in front of me. It is a silver amulet with a dragon carved onto it. It is very similar to Flemeth's shape-shifting form.

"What's this?" he asks as he peers at it.

"Andy, I made a deal with someone called Flemeth. She helped us flee _Lothering_ but she made me promise to return this amulet to its rightful owner," I explain.

He frowns. "I don't like the sound of this, Mari... This amulet has strange power. I can sense it. We should return it as soon as possible. Who does it belong to?"

"Someone called Marethari," I reply.

"Sounds like an elvish name, Mari. In fact there is a _Dalish Camp_ up _Sundermount_," he says.

"She mentioned something about _Sundermount_... Do you think we will be able to return it tomorrow after we have assisted Aveline?"

"We should return it as soon as we can, Mari... This amulet holds dangerous power. It is not good for me or for you," he pauses.

"Because of Justice and my...blood magic?" I whisper.

"Yes...It makes me feel as if I am going to lose my control. Here, feel," he murmurs, pushing it into my hands and I feel it – the pull into the dark. I close my eyes and all I see is black swirling mist. It's calling me into the place I don't want to go.

"No!" I yell, opening my eyes and throwing it across the room. It hits the wall and lands on the floor with a soft thump. I stare at my hands – there is faint shadow of the dragon on the palm of my hand.

"Mari," he says, breaking into my thoughts.

"I...I felt it... It nearly sucked me into the dark, Andy..." I whisper. He sits up and pulls me into his arms and holds me.

"It did the same thing to me...We must get rid of it," he says.

"Tomorrow..." I murmur. I eye the amulet lying on the floor. I have to pick it up, but I don't want to. I am too afraid.

"We can't leave it there, Mari..." he says.

"I know that... Fine, I will get it. You just stay exactly where you are." I slip off the bed and with great reluctance, I retrieve the fallen locket. I quickly put it into my backpack and zip it closed. I leave it by the door. I settle on the bed, but this time, I settle in his arms. He gently turns me until I am beneath him and he nestles. He cups my face and trails feather-light kisses along my jawline, to my mouth, where he moulds his lips to mine. I grip the hem of his shirt with my hands as our kiss intensifies. He slowly moves away from my mouth and he trails kisses along my jawline. I tug his shirt up and I place my hands on the small of his back. I hear the unmistakable sound of a zip being pulled down and then I feel him...

"Andy," I murmur. He quickly divests me of my pants and then he is back in my arms. He nestles once again and he continues kissing me. He is gently touching me and my heart rate escalates dramatically. I move beneath him and he lets out a strangled sigh. I quickly lift his shirt over his head and I toss it the ground. Then he unbuttons mine and when it is open, he presses himself into me. There is nothing we enjoy more than being skin-to-skin. I grip his shoulders that are already slick with sweat.

"Andy, please," I moan. My stomach muscles are clenching painfully. He moves against me, eliciting another sigh from me. I tighten my arms around him and I press my lips against his shoulder. From there I work my way towards his neck where I nibble him.

"Mari," he murmurs. He tightens his arms around me, and then he is there. I close my eyes, revelling in his possession of me and the fullness he can only give to me


	8. Salvation Book One Chapter Eight

_**Chapter Eight**_

I glance up at the fading form of Flemeth. I feel so much lighter now that I have fulfilled my part of her deal, but her words have shaken me:

_We stand upon the precipice of change. The world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment... and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap. It is only when you fall that you learn whether you can fly..._

I glance at Anders and he appears to be more relaxed, yet he is glaring at Merrill. We have been asked by Keeper Marethari to take her back to the city with us because of the path she chose for herself. Imagine my surprise when she revealed to us her blood mage status. Anders was horrified and so was I for that matter. I laugh. Why should I be horrified? I am a blood mage and I have no right to pass judgement, but Merrill is naïve. She claimed the demon helped us when she slit her wrists to break the barrier leading us to the resting place of so many others like her and to my knowledge; a demon assisting a mage is not a good thing at all. I shudder at the thought. I never made a deal with a demon. I never partook in any ritual. I want to tell Anders that, but right now, he looks unapproachable. I decide I don't care. He needs to know. I know how he feels about blood magic. We discussed it at length and I am not about to let that spoil our blossoming relationship. As far as I was concerned, he is no better, because what mage would willingly allow a spirit, however benign, to merge with his soul? And this doesn't worry me at all because...I smile... I love him... I smile some more as I approach him. He is frowning about something. I glance around – Aveline and Varric are discussing something at length. I assume it has to do with the ambush we foiled this morning.

It was a set up, but she is still investigating it and now we have to wait before we can investigate further. The city guard is too reluctant to come forward with what they know, so she is biding her time. I stop a short distance away from him and I glance at Merrill who appears awfully nervous about something. She is a Dalish Elf. She has pointed ears, a pair of brilliant green eyes and she is very petite. She is much smaller than I am and I am, by most normal standards, very petite for a human woman. I am much smaller than Aveline and if I compare myself to Bethany who was very petite, I would consider myself smaller than her. I smile as a memory of my sister flashes in my mind. We were very close, despite the seven year gap between us.

I glance at Anders and he is coming towards me looking very determined about something. I smile as he gently takes my hands.

"Sweetie, you didn't strike a deal with a demon when you decided to choose the...blood mage path?" he softly asks.

"No...I didn't...I was going to tell you that now... I didn't make a deal with any demon, Andy... I was in deep mourning for my Father. I slit my wrists and my blood rose around me in a red haze... It made me feel incredibly powerful, yet it eased my pain, however temporary it was... I never partook in the ritual... It was just me and my dagger...and my blood," I reply.

"Obviously... Yet you feel vulnerable," he says.

"No more vulnerable than you feel... I know how you feel...The pull...Is so strong, yet we both manage to keep that side of ourselves at bay...Well, unless we are asleep," I murmur.

He smiles. "That is true, yet we have slept so well..." he says softly.

"That is because we have each other, Anders...I think we have a soothing effect on each other," I murmur.

"Mmm...I don't think, sweetie, I know so and I cannot wait to get you home and I am going to show you how soothing I can be," he jokes.

"So what do you think about Merrill?" She has wandered away from us. She appears to be deep in thought about something.

"She is naïve, Mari... She doesn't know what she is dealing with. I mean you and I both know how dangerous spirits, however benign or malignant, they can be. She doesn't really understand what she has done... However, I do wonder what she has done to warrant her leaving her clan," he muses.

"She is going to hate it in the city, Anders. Just look at her... She is in her element here on the mountain... She is one with nature and now we are taking her away from where she belongs. If anything, she is going to need a friend," I murmur.

"She wouldn't be the only one hating the city... I hate everything about it... The way we are treated by the templars and people in general. As if we are the scum of the earth and the root of everyone's problems," he says.

"Well that just shows how little they know... I've heard the story, Anders... About how mages entered the _Golden City_. How they coveted power and attempted to take it from the Maker and how their own corruption turned the city black," I trail away because he is frowning.

"Do you really believe that rubbish?" he asks.

"I don't know what to believe, Anders... There must be some truth to it," I reply.

"Mari, it has been said that those mages disappeared into the bowels of the earth only to return as the first darkspawn...," he says.

"And so began the Blights..." I sigh. "And what can we do about it? The people believe what the _Chantry_ teaches them, however, I am sceptical, Anders."

"All of this happened well over a thousand years ago and yet, we are still suffering under the hands of the templars and _Chantry_... That is going to change, I assure you... People need to see we aren't out of for power... You certainly aren't... Yet you are a blood mage... You heart is too pure, Mari. That is what you never needed to make a deal with a demon. You are too pure... Perhaps your gift will serve man and not rule over him," he says.

"I strive to serve man, Anders...Being a blood mage has made it...challenging. People won't trust me, however good my intentions may be," I murmur as I slip my hand into his.

"Let's go... We have been here long enough and this place makes me feel extremely vulnerable. The veil is very thin, Anders... I feel as if I can go either way if I allowed it," I inform him as we wander to where Merrill is standing.

"Merrill, let's go," I say softly.

"Oh...Okay..." she murmurs. I call Aveline and Varric and we slowly make our way back towards the passage that will lead us back through the mountain and out onto the other side. We couldn't take the short-cut because of a landfall that blocked our path. We walk in silence, each person deep in thought, through the passage. I glance at Anders and I touch his jaw. He reaches for my hand and plants a soft kiss on my palm before he slips his arm around my shoulder. He grasps my chin between his thumb and forefinger and he leans towards me. We slow to a walk. He kisses me. I slip my arms around his neck. He slips his arms around me, lifting me in the process and he swings me around.

"I love you," he murmurs and my whole world stops. I gape at him. I was not expecting him to say that to me even though I was thinking the same thing out by the altar. I want to say something but words have failed me completely. He frowns. He releases me and turns away, shoulders drooping.

"Andy, wait...,"I murmur. He whips around and there is hope in his eyes.

"I...I," he stammers.

"I love you," I murmur and the joy on his face is something to behold. I launch myself at him and he wraps his arms firmly around me, lifting me again and he swings me around.

"I know we have only known each other for two weeks, but I wanted you to know that... I love you. I don't care about your blood mage status. I...love...you," he murmurs. I slip my arms around him and I kiss him.

"I love you," I murmur. He breaks our kiss, tightens his arms around me and holds me intimately close.

"Mari," he murmurs. He gently pushes me away and slips his arm around my waist. I smile at him and he looks extremely pleased with himself. He puffs out his chest and I laugh. There really is no need for him to do that. I slip my arm around his waist and we continue towards the exit that will take us to the path back to the _Dalish Camp_. I grin at Aveline and Varric. They shake their heads in wry amusement and I giggle as we walk passed them.

"You better tell me what happened in there," teases Aveline.

"Nothing happened," I reply, except he declared his love for me, but I am not willing to share that piece of information with anyone just yet.

"I don't believe you, Mari. Your eyes are bright and your cheeks are flushed," she says.

"Ever the observant one, aren't you?"

"When it comes to my close friend, I have to be," she replies. I sigh. I glance at Anders. He releases me and he wanders down the path to where Varric and Merrill are chatting.

"Well? Did he ask you to marry him?" she asks.

"What? No... He...loves me, Aveline. He just told me," I reply.

"You are that serious...and so quickly..." she comments.

"Aveline, I love him...Surely that is more important than everything happening so quickly?" I point out.

"Wait...You...You love him?" she asks.

"I do... I love him... I feel it here," I murmur as I press my palm against my chest over my heart.

"Mari...You know I love you, but are you sure?" she asks. I roll my eyes.

"I would not have said it if it were not the case, Aveline. Why can't you just be happy for me?"

"But-?" she trails away.

"Please don't make me choose, Aveline... You are my closest friend and I expect you to be more understanding," I murmur.

"I do...More than you realise... It has just happened so quickly... Okay...Okay... I am not going to win this round... I am happy for you. Maker knows you have been the happiest I have ever seen you... Just remember that I will always be here for you," she softly says.

I glance down the path and Anders is watching me. I wave at him and he returns my wave.

"I know that. I want you to be there for me," I murmur as we slowly make our way down the path towards the men and Merrill.

"I will always be here for you..." she says.

"Thank you," I murmur.

"Come on, let's go, Mari. I could do with a drink and you?" she asks.

"Definitely," I reply. I am in arm's reach of Anders and I gaze shyly at him as he closes his hand over mine.

"Hey," he murmurs.

"Hey yourself," I whisper. He pulls me closer and wraps his arm around my shoulder and kisses my cheek.

"Varric has invited us to the tavern for a couple of drinks..." he informs me.

"Oh? Aveline and I were just speaking about that... Merrill, would you like to come with us once we have settled you in your new home?"

"What? Um...I...I don't know..." she replies softly.

"Merrill, we won't harm you... Just relax... Come...Let's get back the Keeper and then we can get you to the city. If you are still uncertain about coming to the tavern with us, I don't mind. I understand," I murmur.

"_Ma'serannas,_" she murmurs. She flits away from us and leads us down the path without saying anything more. I frown and shrug my shoulders. She is young. She must be Carver's age. I glance at Anders and he is also frowning.

"What do you think?" I ask as we continue on own way.

"About Merrill? It is not our place to reserve judgement, Mari. She has her reasons just as we have our reasons for the choices we made... But she knows next to nothing about demons or spirits otherwise she wouldn't have said what she said," he replies.

I sigh. "I...You are right. We both knew the risks. Our eyes were wide open and now we have live with the consequences of our actions."

"I know what you mean, but let us not dwell too much on it, Mari... Let's get our Dalish friend home and then we can go to the tavern and enjoy ourselves for a couple of hours," he says. By the time we enter the camp, Merrill is already speaking to the Keeper whilst Aveline and Varric look on. I scratch in my pocket and remove the amulet that until it was placed on altar had a piece of Flemeth inside it. I shudder and I nearly the drop it. It was a shock realising I carried a small piece of Flemeth for well over a year. Merrill performed a _Dalish Rite for the Departed_. The words she said were beautiful and I cannot remember what they were. I make a mental note to ask her sometime. I glance around at the many elves going about their business. We had trouble trying to gain access to the camp, but they allowed us in. The elves are not trusting of humans. They call humans, _shemlens_. When we found Merrill at the top of the path and she led us towards a small camp, there were two elvish warriors who looked at her with loathing in their eyes. At the time I wondered what it was about and I am still wondering. She was not forthcoming when ed her.

"It is not too late to change your mind, da'len," Marethari says quietly.

"I have to do this, Keeper... You know my reasons...," says Merrill politely.

"Marethari, your amulet," I murmur, holding it out towards her.

She takes it from me. "Your debt has been repaid in full. _Dareth' shiral_," she murmurs.

"_Ma'serannas_, Keeper," murmurs Merrill.

-o0o-

I lean back in my chair and I throw back my third ale since we arrived at the tavern two hours ago. I have never felt so contented and happy. First he declares his love for me and secondly, I don't have the amulet anymore. It feels as if the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. I glance around the table. Varric and Aveline are deep in conversation about something. As I watch, she laughs.

"Do you honestly think I am going to petition the Viscount to give you ownership of the tavern?" she asks.

"Well, if your suspicions proof to be correct about the ambush we foiled this morning, you might find yourself in line for the position of Guard Captain," he replies, eyes alight with humour.

"We don't know that, Varric... And would you mind ordering me another cider?" she asks in an effort to change the subject but knowing Varric, he can be relentless.

"Think about it, Aveline. That is all and besides if I owned this place, you wouldn't pay one dime for a drink or a meal and I would extend that courtesy to the Guard," he says.

"I wouldn't recommend that, Varric. We don't need the men and women reporting for duty in a drunken state," she firmly says, holding up her hand. He wants to say something more, but she glares at him. I laugh. There is nothing more amusing than when she tries to be stern and it doesn't work.

"And my drink or should I get up and leave?" she asks.

"If you want to," he replies, smiling.

"Varric, you will be death of me... Get me another drink will you?" she says.

I lean forward in my chair. "While you are it, I would like ale, if it is not too much trouble."

"Mari, surely you have had enough? You have drunk three already and I am not about to carry you home," says Anders.

I look at him and smile. "I won't mind being carried home by you," I murmur as I curl my hand around his thigh. He reaches for my hand, entwines our fingers and moves them onto my lap. I laugh and lean back in my chair.

"It's a pity Merrill decided against joining us."

"I don't blame her, Mari. She is away from her people. You can't expect her to feel comfortable in the _Alienage_," says Aveline. "And it doesn't seem fair they have to live separate from everyone else."

"Well, it is the way things are," I state.

"It doesn't have to be like this," says Anders.

"Mmm...I must say the tree in the centre of the _Alienage_ is beautiful. Did you see all those elvish markings on the trunk and the candles around the base? I suppose it is the closest to nature an elf in this city can get," I comment.

"In every major city across Thedas, there is an _Elven Alienage_, Mari... There is one just off the D_enerim Market Square_ in _Fereldan_," says Anders and I smile at him. He is so knowledgeable. He told me a few days ago he used to spend hours in the library reading the many books they had. I realise that is where he more than likely read about why mages are feared to this extent. I realise that is probably why, when I mentioned the _Black City_, he wanted to know if I believed the stories. I am not so sure anymore. It was what we were taught and it is mentioned in the _Chant of Light_. Surely there must be some truth in it? I frown... What if everything the _Chantry_ has led everyone to believe is a lie? What if it was something they thought of so that something could be blamed for the Blights and Darkspawn? What if it is rubbish and what if the truth is more profound? What is the _Chantry_ hiding? I refuse to believe we are to blame for being born with magical talent? Most mages don't want power. Most of them could live without it if it meant living their lives with their families and children instead of slumming it out in the Circle where they are beaten, raped and tortured for being what they are? But then again what about those mages who lust after power, becoming corrupt and dangerous? I close my eyes. My head is throbbing wildly with so many unanswered questions. No wonder Anders wants to fight. Despite our decisions, we are both good people and lusting after power is not what we want.

"Mari?" he murmurs, forcing me out of my quiet contemplation. I notice another drink has been placed in front of me. I look around. Both Aveline and Varric are watching me.

"What? I am sorry," I say as I reach for my mug. I have a sip. It is not ale. It is cider and I don't care. I have had enough liquor for the day.

"You...You drifted off for a moment," says Anders.

"I...What?" I stammer. My mind is swirling with my thoughts.

He frowns. "Are you okay? Would you like to go home?"

"I...No... I am sorry. I was distracted. Was deep in thought about something," I whisper as I stare into the amber liquid of my drink. I half-expect to find my answers. I don't. I have another sip and look around the fast-filling tavern and I rest my gaze on my brother who is all over Isabela. He realises I am watching him because his eyes darken considerably and he pushes her away. I want to look away from him, but I can't. My stomach is in knots and my shoulders are tense. I try to swallow my rising anxiety and fear, but I can't. It feels as if I am going to vomit and it doesn't help matter that I have put away three ales. I cannot look away from him as he saunters towards me in an almost predatory way. I feel Anders hand on mine and I hear a chair scraping me. It distracts me from my brother and I look for the source. Aveline is coming around the table and she stands in front of me.

"Andy, I would like to go home now," I murmur hoarsely.

"Out of my way, Aveline," commands Carver.

"No... You are not to go near her, you understand?" she says quietly.

"Get...out...of...my...way," he slowly says.

"No...I suggest you run along and leave her alone otherwise I won't hesitate to arrest you, Carver," she says.

"Idle threats," he says.

"Give me reason to and I will hurl your sorry arse into the Keep's dungeons," she says quietly. He glares at her, but he backs off. He turns around and saunters to the bar where he drapes an arm around Isabela.

"Andy, now," I whisper. He pulls me to my feet and wraps his arm around my waist. I am shaking so much I don't know if I am going to be able to walk without needing his support. He secures his arm around me, pulling me almost flush against his side. Whatever joy I was feeling has been well and truly squashed by my brother and it takes all of my strength not to cry. I swallow the lump that is forming, but I can't even do that because I am so distraught. I will never have any peace as long as he is around. As soon as we are outside, I shrug free of him and find my way around the tavern to a dark corner and I vomit...and vomit...and vomit. I finally push myself away from the wall thinking my nausea has passed, but I feel the bile rise up in my throat. I reach around for his hand and he closes it over mine and he gently squeezes it.

"Let's go home..." he murmurs.

I turn around. "You must really think I am pathetic."

"Mmm...No...I think you afraid of him, Mari. You are afraid of what he might do to you..." he replies.

I gaze at him. "I am...afraid of him...and it is not only that. I am afraid of what I might do to him if he touches me."

"You know what? If he pushes you too hard, you will retaliate, but until then, I don't think you will do anything to him," he reassures me.

"I...I wish I could believe that... Let's go," I murmur. He slips his arm around me and steers me in the direction of Darktown. I pause when I hear heavy footfalls. I slowly turn around, expecting to see my brother... It's not and I breathe a sigh of relief. I don't have the strength to deal with him right now.

"Relax, Mari..." he murmurs, tightening his arm around me and I slip both my arms around him. I must look terrible. I certainly feel terrible and the thought of home – our home – sounds most welcoming.

-o0o-

He sits next to me after making a cup of tea for us to share. He slips his arm around my shoulder, ensuring I nestle into him. He kisses my cheek and I realise I would like something a bit more intimate. I set my cup on the table and I straddle his lap. I reach for the cup and have a sip of his tea and I frown. He has put something into it and it annoys me, but I feel...more in control. I realise he has given me a dose of his calming potion. It is unlike Elfroot potion. It is similar, but not quite and I relax as it works its way through my body. He touches my face with his fingers and my breathing hitches. He gently moves his fingers along the outline of my face. I have another sip whilst he continues his exploration. His touch is gentle and soothing. His eyes don't leave mine. Not even when I press the cup against his lips and he has a sip of tea. He threads his fingers through my hair and he gently massages my scalp. I close my eyes savouring his touch. It feels so good and all my tension fades away. He plucks the cup from my hand and places it back on the table. He once again threads his fingers through my hair, pulling me closer until he captures my mouth in a kiss. I sit with my knees on either side of him as I thread my fingers through his hair. Our kiss intensifies with his tentative, yet gentle exploration and I smile. I feel him smile and he breaks our kiss, much to my disappointment. I sit back on my knees and I reach out to touch his face. It is my turn to begin my exploration. I skim my fingers along his strong jaw, over his lips, to his nose, and, finally his eyes which are closed. His eyelashes fascinate me as much as they did on our first night together. I lean towards him and kiss each closed eyelid and he responds by curling his hands around my buttocks ensuring I am locked in place. I move towards his mouth, and kiss him.


	9. Salvation Book One Chapter Nine

_**Chapter Nine**_

I am sitting in the chair opposite Aveline in her new office. She is tapping her fingers impatiently on the desk and I don't understand why. We were able to rescue Donnic from thugs in a _Lowtown_ alleyway. He had a satchel with him containing office documents and details that led us direct to Jeven. Donnic was injured, but he was feeling much better before I left the Clinic. Jeven was arrested this morning and she has been just offered the position of Guard-Captain, yet she is not happy.

"Talk to me," I encourage as I stand and wander to the window that also overlooks the training yard. Some men are jogging. Others are practising with their weapons and the others are milling about looking completely bored with their lives. My eyes wander to the men practising with their swords and I think it would be good for me to learn how to wield a weapon and the exercise would do me the world of good. At least it will distract me from my brooding thoughts about the ever increasing tension in _Kirkwall_.

"How are things between you and Anders?" she asks from behind me.

"We are so happy, Aveline... I can't begin to express it... And I can't believe he loves me because I am least deserving of his love, yet he loves me," I reply.

"Why do you say that?" she asks.

I turn around."I am overwhelmed, Aveline. I know it has only been a month. I still find it overwhelming. He is...passionate and when he makes love to me, I get totally swept away by him. Nothing else matters. As long as it is the two of us."

"Do you love him?" she asks.

"I do and deeply so. You already know this. So why are you asking? Do you think I am going to change my mind? Because I am not. I am going to spend the rest of my life with him," I reply, folding my arms tightly across my chest.

"I just wanted to know, that is all... Mmm...I am worried about Donnic... How was he this morning?" she asks.

"He was much better... Please don't worry too much about him. Anders knows what he is doing and why are you so interested?"

She sighs. "I won't hide the truth, Mari, but I am attracted to the man. There is something about me that makes me feel incredibly happy."

"Aveline, I do believe you are blushing," I tease.

"Don't tease me, Mari and besides you blush all the time whenever I mention Anders or when he touches you or whispers make knows what to you. You don't hide the way you feel about him very well," she says.

"I...I can't help it, Aveline... I know I wear my heart on my sleeve and I can't help it... So what is it about Donnic that you find appealing?"

"I don't know... He is a good, solid man... Well, I think he is," she replies.

"I think you are well-suited, to be quite honest," I murmur.

"You think? I don't know... Anyway, enough about him... I can't believe they have offered me the position of Guard-Captain. I never expected that, but I couldn't let Jeven go without some sort of punishment. He deserves it and besides, that ambush we foiled was set up by him, Mari... His plan was to oust me..." she explains.

"Oust you? Why?" I enquire as I lean forwards to rest my hands on the beautiful dark wooden desk.

"I am Fereldan. That is what he said when they arrested him. He actually called me _Fereldan bitch_," she replies.

"The bastard... Why would he set you up because you come from Ferelden?"

"Because most Kirkwallers think we are going to take over. That people will hire us over them because we work harder than them, but why wouldn't we? Most of them have been forced to feel from our home and we also need to work... I don't know..." she replies.

"You know what? I think you will make an excellent Guard-Captain. You deserve it, but are you still going to hang around with me?"

"And run into trouble? Do you think I am going to allow you do that? And besides, it might prove useful if I do come along," she replies.

"Guard-Captain Aveline... It definitely suits you... I look forward to working with you... And I will definitely try not to run into any trouble," I tease.

She laughs. "Somehow, I don't think that is likely... And here is what I promised." She pushes a coin purse across the desk towards me.

"But, how can I accept this? I know you took it from your monthly pay..." I murmur.

"Because I got you into this mess and this is my way to return the favour... You need it more than I do... Open it... There are ten sovereigns in that coin purse," she says.

"Oh Aveline, I don't know what to say... This is the last thing I expected from you...my closest friend," I murmur.

"Please accept, Mari... It is the least I can do...Without your help, I would be out of a job, but here I am, _the-soon-to be-new_ Guard Captain," she says. I look directly in her green eyes and for no reason at all except that she cares, tears slide down my cheeks.

"Forgive me...You must think I am pathetic, Aveline... I am an emotional mess. My growing feelings for Anders, my fear of my brother and my fear that I will get lost in my dark place, never to see the light of day again," I whisper.

"I don't think you are pathetic... You are...sensitive and yes, I agree, you are an emotional mess, but what else can you expect? The last year or so has been extremely difficult for you and that last thing you expected was to meet someone...and you became intimately involved so quickly... Too quickly... Perhaps that is why you feel this way... Perhaps you should spend the night at the Barracks to give yourself some time away from Anders," she suggests.

"I...I can't leave him," I murmur.

"Yes you can. I don't think he will mind. He must be in a bit of emotional state himself...," she says.

"I won't sleep properly," I murmur.

"Does it matter? And besides, you might," she says.

"What do I tell him?" I whisper.

"That you are spending a night with your friend because you haven't done so in over a month. He will understand," she replies. I swallow hard. The thought of leaving his side, even if it is for one night, is too much.

"I can't...I want to, but I can't," I whisper.

"You have to try, Marian... Spending too much time with him can prove to be unhealthy. Think about it... If you show up tonight, then that is okay with me. If you don't, then I understand, but think about it," she says as she moves back to her desk. She sits and gathers her paperwork – a report she has to work on with regards to the events leading up to Jeven's arrest. I take it as my cue to leave and I make my way to the door. As I am about walk out, she calls me. I turn around.

"Yes?"

"Visit your Mother before you go home," she says.

I sigh. "Okay, see you later."

-o0o-

I am kneeling on the floor of the living room giving my hound some well-deserved attention. He is on his back and I am stroking his stomach. He is completely relaxed and it makes me smile. Sometimes I wish I could be as relaxed as my hound. I look up as Mom places two cups of tea on the table.

"Sit with me, Mari," she calls. I pat my hound's stomach and I stand. I stretch myself before sitting down and I feel a little better, but not quite. I sit down, sighing, and I reach for my cup.

"How are you?"

"Still trying to secure an appointment with the Viscount, and you?" she asks, frowning. I look away from her.

"Mari, what is it?" she asks, reaching for my hand.

"I don't know...I feel...I don't know," and to my chagrin, I start crying.

"Oh Mari, what is it? Is it Anders? How are things between the two of you?"

"It's not Anders and things are fine, Mom... I am in an emotional mess. He loves me. I love him. I am terrified Carver is going to harm either me or Anders... I only have twenty sovereigns for this expedition and there is still no further work for me," I sob. "And Aveline thinks I need time away from him," I continue.

"He loves you? He told you this?" she softly asks.

"Yes, he told me... I love him, Mom... I love him...I don't want time away from him," I reply as I attempt to wipe my tears away. "She also thinks we moved too quickly..."

"Mari that is why I always told you not become intimately involved with someone so quickly, especially you... You are too vulnerable," she trails away.

"I wanted to, Mom... I wanted him to make love to me... He wanted the same... We could have chosen to wait, but we didn't...And I don't have any regrets and nor does he as far as I know."

"He is your first love, Mari... How else do you expect to feel? To my knowledge, you have never been involved with anyone before... Well, not in this way," she says.

"Those boys back in Lothering thought I was novelty, Mom... _Hey_ _look at my mage girlfriend and let us see if we can provoke her into using her magic..._ That is what every single one of them said. Not that there were many... Maybe two or three... I put an end to it... But with Anders, it is different..." I trail away, losing my train of thought as an image of him appears in my mind. My stomach clenches painfully and my nerve endings tingle wildly. I need to be with him...

"Mom, I need to go... I will visit soon." I am up and out the door before she can call me back. I jog the short distance towards the _Darktown_ entrance.

-o0o-

I burst into his clinic and frantically search around for him, but he is not here and I sink the floor, heart heavy with disappointment. Where could he be? I wrap my arms around myself and weep. I can't be apart from him... It's too much... Not when every fibre of my being needs to be with him. I am in a mess. I can't deny it. Too much has happened in my life. My Father's death, my brother's attack and more importantly the intense way I feel about Anders. I want to stand, but I don't have the strength. I realise Donnic is not here to. Anders must have given him the all clear. I smile about this. At least Aveline would get to see him. I drag myself to my feet and shuffle to the cot on the far side of the room and I lie down. I close my eyes and focus my attention on thoughts of Anders and it is enough for me to relax completely. I am so deep in thought that I startle when a familiar body slides onto mine.

"Ssh...It's me," he whispers.

"Andy," I whisper as I curl my arms around his back. "Where were you?"

"In our room... I heard you coming in. I thought you were going to come to me...When you didn't, I started worrying, but I decided to see if you were alright," he replies.

"I am a mess, Anders... Emotionally," I murmur, opening my eyes.

"I know what you mean... I can't get my head around what we share..." he murmurs.

"You can't? I am so overwhelmed... I love you," I whisper.

"Oh Mari... Mari love," he murmurs as he captures my mouth in a kiss, forcing his way in until our tongues are dancing wildly in a battle of wills as to who would be the first to win...or give in. I smile at the thought and he smiles against my lips. Our kiss deepens and intensifies into something else entirely. He claims my mouth with his relentless exploration. I skim my hands along his back and I slide them under his shirt. He sighs softly. He skims his hands along my sides, to my thighs where he squeezes them before divesting me of my pants. I move my hands to the waistband of his pants and around until I feel the buckle of his belt. I unbuckle it and push his pants partially off his hips. I rest my hands on his hips and I relish the smoothness of his skin and more than anything I want to feel him skin-to-skin. I move my hands upwards and slowly pull his shirt over his head. I toss it onto the floor and I wrap my arms around his broad, muscular back. He breaks our kiss long enough to divest of my blouse and then we are skin-to-skin. He reaches for my hands and holds them above my head as he stares deeply into my eyes. There are so many emotions flickering in his brown eyes and I know one of them is love. _Say it, Andy..._He lowers his lips to mine, pausing inches from my lips.

"I love you, Marian Amell-Hawke," he murmurs as he claims my mouth once more. He does not release my hands or break eye contact with me as he gently makes love to me.

o0o

"Love, you were upset when you came in. Would you mind telling me why?" asks Anders.

It is nearly six pm and after spending the afternoon wrapped in each other's arms we decided we needed time away from his clinic, so we are on our way to the tavern. I sniff the air and look upwards. There are thick black clouds overhead and there is also a cool breeze blowing on the air. I shiver and for the first time, I wish I had a hooded cloak to wrap around myself in this miserable and cold weather. He tightens his arm around me, pulling me flush against his side and I soak up his warmth. I give him a grateful smile. We continue on our way until the tavern door comes into view, and he comes to an abrupt stop. I glance questionably at him.

"You didn't answer my question," he reminds me. I shrug free of his arm and stand in front of him. I reach for his hands.

"Aveline reckons I need time away from you. She wants me to spend the night at the Barracks," I reply. I tighten my hold on his hands because he wants to pull away from me.

"Do you need time away from me?" he softly asks. I study his face and as I expected, there is deep pain and sadness in his light brown eyes that, until a short while ago, were sparkling with happiness.

"Why would you think that? Because I certainly don't want time away from you," I murmur.

"Then why did she mention it? Did you give her reason to?" he asks.

"No, I didn't. It was a suggestion. One that I was not even considering until now seen that you don't seem to trust my words," I reply as I pull away from him.

"No, love, please..." he murmurs as he slips his arm around my waist, not giving me a chance to move away from him. He pulls me flush against his body, and he envelops me in his arms and I blend right into him. I feel every muscle pressing against my back, and his legs that are so strong... A tingle of pleasure runs along my spine and connects with my happy place. He senses my change in demeanor because he trails warm kisses along my neckline. I tilt my head to the side to give him better access and then his lips find my hollow. He lightly suckles me, sending delicious shockwaves through me. I close my eyes and give into the sensations only he can cause and that is when I hear it – the beautiful sound of my mana singing and it is singing for him. He suckles harder and I smile – I am going to have a mark for all to see and I don't care. I wriggle against him and he lets out a muffled sigh. I twist myself in his arms and I press my lips against his, seeking entrance, but he gently pushes me away. I gaze at him and that is when the first drop of rain lands on my cheek. I wipe it away and I am surprised to feel it is warm and that is when I realise I am crying and for the life of me, I don't know why, but they keep on falling hard and fast just as the heavens open. He slips his arms around me and guides me into the warmth of the tavern and he steers me to a table in the corner, out of the line of sight of everyone. He seats me in a chair and he grabs his chair and he pulls it around next to me.

"Would you like something to drink?" he asks.

"Please sit for a moment," I reply as I reach for his hand.

"Talk to me," he murmurs as he sits. He cups my face and wipes my tears away. He stares deeply into my eyes and it takes all my strength not to kiss him because that is what I need.

"Why do I feel like this?"

"It's been one hell of a month, Mari... Think about what we have both experienced since the day you walked into my clinic... I still have those Maps, love...," he replies.

I laugh. "I forgot about that... The expedition no longer seems important...It is, don't get me wrong, but you are far more important."

"You only need to say the word, love and those Maps will be here yours," he says, leaning towards me

"I will ask for them closer to the expedition. Maker knows, we have another five months... Andy, Aveline gave me ten sovereigns in appreciation for assisting her. That brings it up to twenty... Another thirty to go and perhaps I will find extra along the way," I inform him.

"That was very thoughtful of her... Donnic is fine. He recovered well," he murmurs.

"Ah...Donnic... I think Aveline is attracted to him," I murmur.

"And what makes you think that?" he asks, signalling a bar-woman over. He quickly gives our orders.

"I don't know... When she asked about him, she blushed and her eyes lit up. I definitely think she is attracted to him," I reply.

"And that makes you think she is attracted to him?" he asks, shaking his head in disbelief. I look away feeling foolish. To my own ears, my reply was immature.

"Never mind, Anders... Just forget I said anything," I mutter to cover my embarrassment and I refuse to look at him. Instead I study my knotted fingers that are twisting and untwisting of their own accord and suddenly I feel as if I need to get away from him and the tavern. I push my chair back and I bolt out of the tavern. I stand in the pouring rain thinking where I should go and the only place that sounds welcoming is my Uncle's place. I head in that direction, in the hopes that I don't bump into my brother, but as I round the corner, I hear heavy footfalls. I stiffen immediately, but I don't turn around. I hope whomever it is will continue without taking much notice of me, but that hope is squashed as soon as a hand closes over my upper arm, swinging me around in the process. My stomach clenches painfully. I reluctantly raise my eyes and I stare directly into the resentful, angry eyes of my brother. He tightens his hand on my arm and shoves me against the wall.

"So you are alone, are you? Did he get too much for you?" he snarls as he grips my chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Should I make it go away?" He leans towards me. The liquor on his breath whirls around me and makes me feel light-headed and queasy. His head is dripping and his clothes are soaked and so are mine. I attempt wrapping my arms around myself, but he grabs me by the wrists and pushes them against the wall. He leans closer, pressing himself into me. I cannot move because I am trapped between him and the wall and I am afraid.

"Let...me...go," I whisper.

"No...There is no-one to protect your pretty mage hide, Sister..." he whispers. He leans closer. I turn away from him, but he slaps me. I am too stunned to utter one word and my cheek is stinging. The tears fall unbidden and I am powerless to stop them.

"I said _look at me_," he says as he roughly forces me to look at him. His eyes are dark and almost black with rage. He aligns himself with me and presses into me. I ignore the erection digging into my stomach. He clamps my chin, holding me in place and he kisses me, bruising my lips with the force of his kiss. He attempts forcing me to open for him, but I refuse. He pulls away and curls his hand around my neck...and squeezes. I see stars and I close my eye. _Please...Maker...Give me strength..._I murmur silently and then I feel it – my mana. I allow it to course through me. I open my eyes and through my haze, I see my brother leaning towards me and I turn away from him. I am repulsed by this man who calls himself my brother. From somewhere – I don't know where – I find my strength and willpower and with a roar of outrage – that sounds foreign to my ears – I free my hands from his iron grip. I place my hands on his chest and with another silent prayer to the Maker, I focus all my strength into my hands and I shove him... hard. It is so hard, he flies backwards and slams into the wall opposite me and with a muffled _oomph_ he slides to the ground, and doesn't move. I find the strength to walk towards him. He moves and opens his eyes. I kneel next to him and our eyes lock. He appears dazed. I think he is dazed, but I am proved wrong as soon as he grabs my wrists and shoves me to the wet ground. He clamps his knees on either side of me and he hits me...and hits me...and hits me until I can no longer see straight and I don't have the strength to fight him this time. My head is spinning. I am seeing stars. The tears are streaming down my cheeks...and it is raining. How appropriate for my current situation. I laugh mockingly at myself.

"You are not so tough now that you don't have Anders or Aveline to protect you, mage bitch," he hisses by my ear.

"Let...me...go..." I whisper in a voice that is foreign to my ears. He ignores my pleas and continues his attack. My eyes are heavy and the more I fight the overwhelming darkness, the more it sucks me in. I think it would be best to die and I smile. It would surely be better than what he is doing to me. I don't even realise he has stopped his assault until I feel a kick in my ribs and the pain radiates inwards until I curl myself into the fetal position. I feel him tower over me and without another word from him, he walks away leaving me in the ice cold rain. I slip in and out of consciousness. The only time I am aware of others is when familiar strong arms lift me. I manage to stay conscious long enough to recognise the gentle brown eyes of Anders.

-o0o-

"Is she going to be alright?" It sounds like my Mom. I want to call out, but my throat is sore. I try to move, but everything feels heavy and I have a splitting headache. I sink back into darkness.

-o0o-

"I've arrested the bastard, Anders." It sounds like Aveline and I frown. What is she talking about? Who has she arrested? Again, there are missing blanks and it frustrates me. I make a small sound, only to realise it is in my head and I sink once again into swirling black darkness.

-o0o-

"Anders, how much longer is she going to be unconscious?" It's my Mom. I attempt calling out, but the word gets stuck in my throat and something is throbbing. I realise it is my face. It feels bruised. What happened to me?

"I don't know... She has been in and out of consciousness for two days," he replies.

"Surely there is something you can do, Anders? Have you spoken to her at all?" she asks. I don't hear his reply because they are no longer next to me. I feel something warm slide down my cheeks and I realise I am crying. I attempt to wipe the tears away, but I can't even lift my arms and it frustrates me. I sink back into darkness thinking it is far better than what I am experiencing.

-o0o-

"Mari love...Can you hear me?" he calls from a distance. My heart flutters with joy. It is Anders.

"Please come back to me, love..." he murmurs. I fight through the suffocating fogginess I feel. He is my light. I can just see it shining through my swirling darkness.

"Sweetie, please? I love you...Please...Please come back to me," he murmurs, voice breaking as he tries to stifle his cries. It doesn't work because his tears fall onto my face. I lift my hand – I am surprised I can – and I touch his cheek. He quickly entwines our fingers.

"Mari... Mari?" he murmurs. I reply by squeezing his hand.

"Mari," he murmurs, and the relief evident in his voice. His light is getting closer. I open my eyes and through my haze, I see him looking at me, but my vision is out of focus. I close my eyes, only to re-open them and I realise I am thirsty.

"Wa-Water," I splutter. He quickly moves away from me. I blink my eyes a few times and very slowly everything comes back into focus. I look up and I recognise the ceiling and the smell is familiar. It brings back memories of him – Anders. His distinct Lyrium scent with lavender, wood and hay mingled into one pleasing aroma. I am...I must be in our room at his Clinic. The realisation does wonders and I attempt sitting, but he comes towards me with a mug of what I hope is water. He places it on the table next to me.

"No...Not yet," he murmurs as he places restraining hands on my shoulders. I sink back into my pillows. He reaches for the mug. He slides his hand under my head, bringing me to the mug and I drink...and drink...and drink. I have never felt so thirsty in my life. He eases me back onto the pillow and refills the mug and he assists me again. I frown when he tries to encourage me to drink the last mouthful.

"No...Enough," I whisper. He nods and drinks the rest himself. He eases me back onto the pillow. As he moves away from me I grab his shirt.

"Please?" I whisper. He appears indecisive. I need him to lay with me. I need him to provide me with his warmth and security.

"Please?" I whimper. My throat is tightening with unshed tears and as hard as I try, I can't prevent them falling.

"Mari," he murmurs. He removes his clothing except his shorts and he very carefully climbs over me. He spoons my back and wraps his arms securely around. I close my eyes and relish his skin against mine. I am tempted to turn around. I don't even know if I can, but I try, and with great effort on my part, I am finally cocooned against his chest. We are face-to-face with our legs entwined. It feels so good being in his arms and my tears fall anew.

"Ssh...I've got you..." he murmurs.

"Andy," I sob.

"I know...Just try to relax...Take slow deep breaths...Together," he encourages. He curls his hands around my head, keeping me in place. I study his concerned face – there are dark circles around his eyes and there are lines I have never seen before. It appears as if he has aged in just two days and this upsets me. I tentatively touch his cheeks with my fingers. He slowly exhales as he closes his eyes and I follow suit. I continue exploring him with my fingers. I skim my thumbs along his lips. I leave them there and he parts his lips. I lean towards him until I feel my thumbs beneath my lips. I move them, and I kiss him. I break it off as soon as my face twinges reminding me that I have been beaten and with shocking force, everything that happened floods my mind. I remember running out of the tavern and into the pouring rain. I remember being subdued not too far from the tavern. I remember...I remember... A strangled sound escapes me and I can't breathe. I cannot breathe.

"Mari...Mari..." says Anders as he hovers over me. He is fading.

I reach out for something, anything to hold onto. "Andy...Andy..."

He grabs my hands and very gently, he pulls me into his arms, cocooning me and I am able to breathe again although my breathing sounds ragged, even to my own ears and I don't care as long as he is with me, I don't care.

"Ssh...I've got you..." he murmurs as he slowly rocks me. I close my eyes. I am exhausted and sleep sounds most welcoming. I allow myself to drift...

-o0o-

I hear a very familiar voice breaking through my deep sleep and someone is holding my hand. I hope it is Anders. I force my eyes open. I blink a few times and then I look at my hand. The hand holding it is that of my Mother's. I try to sit, but she gently restrains me.

"Take it easy," she murmurs.

"Mom..." I whisper.

"The one and only," she murmurs. I notice dark circles around her eyes and in her eyes, there is profound sadness. My heart clenches painfully. I don't want to think about what happened because it involves my brother and by the tears sliding down her cheeks, I know it is true. I shrug free from her hand and I look anywhere but at her. She is undoubtedly going to lay the blame on me in much the same way she laid the blame on me when my sister was killed. I cannot stifle my sobs; however, I do manage to keep them silent. She reaches for my hand, but I move away. I don't need her comfort.

"Mari, please...please don't do this to me..." and it is a heartfelt plea.

"Do you know what he did to me, Mom? Do you even want to know?" I ask, barely keeping the edge from my voice. "And I mustn't do what, exactly, especially knowing you are going to blame me."

"No...I don't blame you... He was cold and impassive when I visited him in the Keep dungeons this morning," she murmurs.

"I...don't...want...to hear...about that bastard, Mom. Do you want to know what else he wanted, Mom? Do you?" I notice my voice has risen considerably and my head gives a painful throb.

"He told me you shoved him so hard he went flying backwards," she replies.

"And it served him right otherwise he would have assaulted me...but what good did it do? It didn't stop him from beating me into unconsciousness."

I close my eyes because my head feels as if it is going to explode, never mind the rising nausea that is slowly taking hold of me. There is a bitter taste in my mouth and the urge to vomit is overwhelming.

"Assaulted you? What?" she asks.

"You heard me, Mom... He would have, if I didn't shove him away and I didn't use magic on him. I used raw strength. Even blood mages know how to control their use of magic, but I am not like other blood mages. I did not make a deal with any demon. My soul is my own...No...It belongs to Anders. Where is he?"

"He is seeing to a couple of patients... Mari, I did not come here to fight with you. I came here to see my daughter," she softly says as she reaches for my hand and entwines our fingers.

"Mom," I whisper. I manage to sit. She perches herself on the edge of the bed and she pulls me into her arms.

"I am so sorry, Mari. I have gone wrong with him, that is for sure, yet he has always had a dark side, even as a little boy. It worried your Father and I, but we both thought it would pass, instead, it has changed him. He is hard, cold and dangerous. I am relieved, but at the same time, I am saddened... Mari, can we at least try to repair our damaged relationship?" she asks. I lapse into silence, deep in thought about what she is suggesting and my heart sings with joy. I want to repair our relationship.

"Mom, I want to...It is something I have wanted for a long time. I am willing to work on it if you are," I reply.

"Oh Mari... I love you...I have never stopped loving you...And I promise not to let you down this time," she says.

"It doesn't mean I am moving back home, Mom... My home is here with Anders," I inform her as I lie down. I am exhausted.

"I...I understand and I wouldn't expect you move home anyway, not when you are so happy here him," she softly says.

"Mmm," I mumble, eyes closing and I drift.


	10. Salvation Book One Chapter Ten

_**Chapter Ten**_

A week has passed since my ordeal and I feel the need for fresh air, but whether he is going to allow it, I don't know. I pull myself into the sitting position and I wrap my arms around his Mother's pillow that has become my source of comfort when he is busy attending to his patients. My Mother and Aveline visited me last night. It was good seeing them, especially Aveline. Neither one of them made any reference to Carver and I got the feeling it was something they decided on before visiting me and frankly, I was relieved. I was not and I am not ready to discuss it with anyone, not even Anders. I look around the room and I definitely need fresh air. I feel suffocated cooped in here. I throw the sheet off and swing my legs off the bed. This would be the first time since my ordeal that he has not been here to assist me to my feet. I am anxious that I might stumble, so I very slowly stand, holding my arms out for balance. I straighten myself and take one step forward. The effort is a bit much because my head spins wildly and I nearly stumble, but I ignore it. I take another step forward, ignoring the slight twinge in my side. The bastard broke two of my ribs. Anders healed them for me. All I have are black bruises. I shakily make my way to the basin and I look at myself. There are dark circles around my eyes and my face is bruised. Some of the bruises are starting to fade. In short, I look an absolute mess. My hair is as unruly as ever and I am as white as the white chemise I am wearing. I splash water onto my face and I feel a little better, but what I really need is his care. I open the cabinet next to the basin and I take out a bottle of Lavender essence. I fill the basin with water and pour in the essence. I conjure a fireball to warm the water. I reach for the cloth, dip it in, squeeze and wash my face again. I breathe in the essence. It seems to find its way into every aching spot in my body. I drop the cloth into the basin. I remove my chemise, and I toss it onto the bed. I reach for the cloth and I carefully wash myself in slow, circular motions. It is so soothing, I close my eyes and for the first time in a week, I feel the tension leave my body. I don't open my eyes when the door opens and gentle arms slip around me and warm hands cover mine. I feel his lips on my shoulder and I start trembling. It has been so long, even though it is not so long, since I felt his lips on my body. He moves our hands in soothing circles along my stomach and over my breasts. I let out a strangled sound and he stills his hands. He doesn't say a word to me, even though he wants to and all I want is to be held by him. He seems to realise it because he wraps his arms securely around me, cocooning me and I relax. I am not ready for anything intimate right now.

"It's okay, you know," he murmurs by my ear. His breath tickles me and I break out in goose-flesh. He laughs into my neck and I shiver.

"Come, let's get you dressed, Mari and then I am taking you for a walk to _Sundermount_. Merrill gave me directions to a place she used to spend time. She was here yesterday. I don't know if you remember," he murmurs.

"Merrill was here? That was thoughtful of her... I...I don't remember," I reply.

"Just as I thought. You have been sleeping so deeply, so that doesn't surprise me," he murmurs as he gently turns me around.

"And I suppose you have been giving me something in my tea?" I tease.

He grins sheepishly at me and then he frowns. "It's the only way you sleep peacefully, otherwise you sleep restlessly."

I look away from him. I do sort of remember that. My nightmares have returned in full force and my dark place is not too far away. Even now, I feel the dangerous pull away from the light he has created for me and this realisation brings tears to my eyes. I don't want to go back there. I look directly into his eyes and I tell him that.

"Mari," he murmurs as he embraces me. "Stay with me, Mari. Don't give in... I am here for you," he continues. I slip my arms around his neck and I weep.

"Love...Ssh..." he murmurs, lifting me onto his feet...and at first, he sways with me, and then he gracefully moves around our small room. He is dancing with me and it is so soothing. I did not know he could dance, yet he is dancing with me as if it is the most natural thing in the world to him. I feel laughter bubbling up and I laugh. He tightens his arms around me and we circuit the room a second time. We end up in the middle where he stops, only to sway with me. He drops his hands to my buttocks and I tighten my arms around him. I press myself into him and soak in his warmth.

"I love you, Mari...," he murmurs. His words fill me with quiet joy and I look into his eyes.

"I love you," I whisper.

"My sweet Mari," he murmurs as he kisses me. It is soft and gently and there is nothing remotely demanding in it. He is not going to force me to do anything I am not yet ready to do and I am grateful.

"So do you want to spend a couple of hours in the mountains? It is a beautiful day, Mari. It's warm. I think you will enjoy yourself," he says, releasing me.

"I...I do need fresh air. What is this place you mentioned?" as I am about to open the wardrobe, but he eases me onto the bed. I shake my head and relish the fact he wants to take care of me.

"It's off the path we took before we entered the Dalish Camp. She says it is beautiful. She didn't say much else except that she thinks you will like it," he replies, coming back to me with a light blue blouse and a white bra. I raise my eyebrow.

"Hey, gifts from your Mother," he informs me. "She felt you needed a little spoiling. She also wanted you to have this," he continues as he pulls out a black hooded cloak with light blue trimming. My jaw drops. It must have cost a fortune. He brings it to me and drapes it over my shoulders.

"I can't accept this," I murmur.

"That is what I told her, but she refused to listen to me and when I pressed for further details, she finally admitted that it used to belong to her when she was your age. She said Malcolm gave it to her before they fled Kirkwall. She said it was the first thing she packed when news came of the darkspawn horde heading towards Lothering," he explains.

"And she has waited this long to give it to me?" I murmur.

"She said she was waiting for the right time... She told me you and she are going to repair your relationship and she felt this was a good way to start..." he replies. I swallow the hard lump in my throat and furiously rub my eyes. She obviously realised how much it would mean to me to have something my Father gave to her. I idolized my Father. He was everything to me...and I couldn't save him from his illness.

"It was my fault he died, Anders... He was sick for six months and I tried everything to save him. I tried healing him with magic. I tried conventional healing... I tried...and failed. He died in my arms," I trail away. I take a deep breath and tighten the cloak around my shoulders and I pull the hood over my head. He sits next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder and he pulls me towards him until my head is resting on his shoulder. He reaches for my hand and entwines our fingers.

"What hurt the most was the disappointment and anger in my Mother's and sibling's eyes. Their sister – a mage with a knack for healing – couldn't even prevent their Father from slipping away. For days, they refused to speak or look at me especially my Mom and Carver. Beth was the only one who seemed to understand the depth of my pain. Their icy stares became too much. My pain became unbearable. It happened one dark evening. I slipped away unnoticed, with a dagger in my pocket and Mabari as my only companion and I disappeared into one of the many barns on the outskirts of Lothering..." I pause, not sure how to continue. The memory haunts me and its coming back full force. It is enough for me to take in a deep shuddering breath.

"I knelt in the centre of the barn, drew a circle around myself... I took the dagger... I...I," I cannot continue. I want to look at him, but I am afraid of what I may see. I don't want to lose him... I can't. He is my shining light. My beacon of hope and the thought he might run just as so many others, is just too painful. I need to stand. I need to clear my head, but as I attempt to stand, he turns so that he faces me. He gently lifts my chin. I have no choice but to look at him and I am surprised by what I see. There is no fear or anger in his eyes as I expected. There is deep sorrow and pain. I realise he feels my pain. I look deeper and then I see it – love. He loves me regardless and this realisation is just as painful as the pain I am feeling. He runs his thumb along my bottom lip and it sends a tingle along my spine and it connects with my happy place.

"It is not your fault, Mari... A mage's gift of healing can only stretch so far. Sometimes it is best to let nature takes is course. There are just some things that are beyond our ability or power to heal... Not even I can heal certain illnesses, even though I am an accomplished healer. It doesn't matter how hard I try or how many Lyrium potions I swallow... Some illnesses are not meant to be healed. Then it is best to let it go."

"You...You don't...You won't -?" I can't find the words to finish my sentence. He curls his hands around the base of my head. He leans towards me. My heart rate escalates as does my breathing. He is so close, I can taste him. He pauses a mere inch from my lips. I wet my lips in anticipation. I can almost feel my pupils dilating and warm heat spreads across my face, to my chest. I take a deep breath and then he kisses me. He gently probes and I give him access. I can't stifle the sigh of pleasure as his tongue swirls around my mouth in a teasing manner, igniting every single nerve ending throughout my body. I sink back onto the pillows and he slides his body aligning it with mine until I feel every hard muscle pressing into my still-battered-and-bruised body. It doesn't hurt. In fact, it is very soothing. He reaches for my hands and gently holds them above my head. It brings back the memory of what my brother did to me and I struggle against him.

"No...Stop...Please," I whimper. He backs away very quickly and rocks back onto his knees. I close my eyes and take slow deep breaths. My head clears and I open my eyes.

"Can...Can we try again?"

"I...You aren't ready, Mari..." he murmurs.

"Please? I want to try again," I whisper.

He sighs. "Mari, you are still too fragile for anything intense."

"Anders, please?" I implore, reaching for his hands and pulling him towards me. I need physical contact with him. I quickly remove his shirt. I shrug out of my cloak and I reach for his hands. He gazes at me with concern etched on his face and in his eyes.

"I don't want to hurt you," he murmurs.

"You won't. Please?" I whisper.

"If it gets too much, tell me," he murmurs as he entwines our hands. He once again holds them on the pillows above my head. I force the memory of Carver to the back of my mind. I don't want to think about him at all. It's difficult, because my heart is beating rather loudly. Even to my ears, it sounds too loud.

"Kiss me," I whisper. He leans towards me, kisses my forehead and he trails kisses along my jawline before finally sealing his mouth over mine. He runs his tongue along my bottom lip and I open for him. He gently darts his tongue into my mouth and I don't bother stifling the sigh of pleasure as he swirls it around in a soothing way. He releases my hand, only to close it over my breast and I groan as he thumbs my nipple. I reach for his hand and bring it back to rest above my head where he entwines our fingers. He very slowly slides along my body and I shiver as his muscles ripple against my stomach and breasts and his fine smattering of hair tickles my breasts. He releases my hand long enough to divest us of our remaining underwear and clothing. He raises himself slightly to resettle himself.

"Look at me," he whispers and those words bring another image of my brother. I start trembling and everything tenses. I take a deep shuddering breath.

"Love...Look at me," he softly murmurs. I open my eyes and stare directly into his.

"Focus, Mari. All you see and feel is me. Focus love, focus," he encourages. I want to smile and I do. It feels so good to smile and all my tension ebbs.

"That's my girl," he whispers, clearly pleased with himself for his handiwork at making me smile. He tightens his hold on my hands as he repositions himself. He does not break eye contact with me as he eases into me. I close my eyes at the sudden intrusion. He pauses, giving me a chance to get used to his complete possession and his warmth flows from him into me. It spreads throughout my body...and I relax.

-o0o-

"Maker, you look beautiful wearing that cloak, my love," he says as I twirl in front of him. My cloak billows around me, and I pause to take in my surroundings. I take a deep breath of fresh mountain air and I feel much better. We are on the path leading to the _Sundermount Dalish Camp_, except we are not going there today. He slips his arm around me and we continue along the path. There is a cool breeze blowing off the mountain peak, but it is not too chilly. In fact, it feels very refreshing against my overheated skin. I flush at the memory of his gentle love-making and my skin tingles in anticipation. I need to feel him again. I need to have that connection with him. He smiles at me before giving me a chaste kiss and then he points to what appears to be a concealed path.

"That must be it, Anders... Come," I am eager to see the place Merrill mentioned. I release his hand and slowly jog towards it. I slow to a walk when my ribs give me a rather painful twinge and I bend, holding my sides until it subsides.

"You alright?" he asks as he places a comforting hand on my back.

"Yes...I forgot about my bruised ribs..." I reply. I carefully straighten myself and I smile at him as he slips a comforting arm around me.

"Don't overdo it, Mari," he says.

I laugh. "Overdo it? How can that be overdoing it when we were...quite active earlier on?"

"That is a lovely sound, Mari..." he says softly as he rests his hands on my hips. I rest my hands on his shoulders. He lifts me and swings me around. He slips his arms around me as soon as he sets me back onto my feet. We continue on our way along the path Merrill told Anders about and very soon we step out into a clearing. I look around. We are completely sheltered by shrubs and trees alike. There is also a pool of water that draws my attention. I shrug off my cloak and it drops to the ground. I kick off my boots. I close my eyes relishing the feel of grass beneath my feet. Something I have not experienced since we left _Lothering_. I twirl around and I laugh. It sounds carefree to me. It brings back memories of a happy childhood and all the time I spent in the fields with my siblings before things changed. Before _his_ hatred and resentment of me became apparent. I force the thought aside. I will not allow it to spoil my time with my...I glance at him and smile...He drops the backpack onto the ground, and as he saunters towards me, he removes his shirt. He drops it behind him. My cheeks warm considerably. This is the first time I am seeing him in the sunlight. His fine smattering of hair is almost golden brown in colour and his chest muscles are...impressive as are his arms that are so gentle with me. He approaches me with catlike grace and I laugh. He really is graceful even when he dances. He flashes me an impish grin and before I realise it, he has picked me and slung me over his shoulders. I realise what he is going to do and I beat his back with my firsts and all he does is laugh.

"Anders, put me down." I plea but it falls on deaf ears. I expect him to dunk me into the pool; instead, he slides me along his body before setting me back on my feet, and he touches my cheek.

"You look lovely right now, Mari. There is colour in your cheeks. Something I haven't seen in over a week," he says. I reach for his hand and press it against my chest so that he can feel my beating heart. He leans towards me and kisses me as he skims his hand along my sides, to the hem of my blouse. He lifts it over my head and tosses it to the ground. He slips his arm around me and pulls me flush against him and he kisses me again as he tucks a tendril of hair behind my ear. He presses his hand against the small of my back, and he moves with me towards the pool. I hear a splash as he steps into the water and only then does he release me to remove his pants. I follow suit and very soon I am in his arms, waist deep in the water that is warm despite the chill on the air.

He kisses my forehead. "Have you ever made love in water?"

I laugh. "Love, of course not... You are the only man I have ever made love to... Have you?"

"No...," he replies.

"Not even with Karl?" I hesitantly ask.

"Mmm...Love, he was the first person I made love to... Actually, he made love to me..."

I lean away from him, trying to understand what he is saying and the more I think about it... "When you say he was the first person you made love to, are you saying..." I can't find the words to express what I want to say.

He kisses my forehead, and smiles. "Mari, you are the first woman I have ever made love to... I didn't pursue anyone, man or woman alike, after Karl was transferred to _Kirkwall's Circle_. I was in love with him..." he replies.

"You loved him right up until the moment you took his life at his behest," I murmur.

"I...I know, but I love you more than I ever loved him, Mari. I wouldn't have made love to you, otherwise," he softly says.

"But you are so good at making love, Anders. I never would have thought that I was the first woman you made love to. Our first time was...beautiful," I whisper.

"It was the best experience of my life, Mari. Nothing compares to the way you made me feel. The way you still make me feel when we make love. You are very passionate for someone who is experiencing her first intimate relationship," he says.

"And you are more passionate than I am," I tease.

"Now you are flattering me," he teases.

"Perhaps I am," I murmur. He laughs as he wraps his arms around me. He wades further into the water and we sink to our knees.

"I have a question," I whisper.

"What?"

"How...How..." I blush as words fail me.

"How?" he asks.

"You and Karl... How?" I look away. I can't hide me embarrassment for asking such an inappropriate question.

"I see..." he says, amused. He turns me around and pulls me flush against his body. He rests his head on my shoulder. "It's painful, Mari...And for you, it will be very painful," he murmurs.

"Show me..." I whisper.

"You will need to relax, otherwise it will hurt," he hoarsely whispers. He is excited. I think I know how, but I don't want to really think about it.

"I am relaxed," I whisper.

"You aren't," he murmurs as he starts raining kisses across my shoulders. I feel his fingers along the curve of my hips. I close my eyes. I don't think I can do this and I push away from him. I swim to the opposite shore and I climb out. I don't look at him. I am ashamed and embarrassed. Since we became lovers, he does everything to please me and I did very little to please him even though he allowed me to take the lead sometimes, but I preferred him to lead. I wrap my arms around my legs and I bask in the sun. It is very warm and the wind has dropped. I hear the water lapping and I look up. He is swimming towards me. He pulls himself out next to me and reaches for my hand.

"I'm sorry," I murmur.

"For what?" he asks.

"I...I didn't realise..." I stammer.

"Mari, it's okay. There _is_ no need to apologise," he says quietly.

"I want to know, Anders...If there is anything I can do that would please you, please tell me," I whisper. He gives me a sidelong glance before he pulls me onto his lap.

"You don't need to, Mari... You please me in more ways than you realise and I love you because of it. Don't change who you are because of me. I loved a man once. I enjoyed what we did together, but nothing pleases me more than making love to you in the way I do," he says.

"I want to try... If it doesn't work, then we don't have to do it again," I murmur. His chest expands behind me and I feel him stir. He wants to show me.

"If you are certain?" he murmurs.

"Yes, please Anders?" I whisper, even though I am shaking like a leaf inside, but that eases as soon as he captures my mouth in a passionate kiss. His hands are everywhere – teasing my breasts, caressing my thighs and he is very aroused. He curls his arm around my waist and lifts me and pulls me back slightly only to resettle me on his lap. He moves away from my mouth, to my neck where he grazes his lips along my neck in the direction of my hollow and then he kisses me. I elicit a low sigh of approval. He does not remove his lips from my hollow as he skims his hand along my side, over the curve of my hip and he eases one then two fingers into me. I clutch his thighs. He moves in slow soothing circles and I arch towards his hand, needing the friction. He lifts me without removing his fingers. I feel his erection against my buttocks and he very gently pushes into me. I cry out. It is so painful. It is worse than what I experienced when he made love to me the first time. He pauses long enough to lavish attention along my neck.

"Relax," he murmurs as he nibbles my earlobe. I nod. He pushes harder and I bite my lip to prevent myself from crying out. It is painful, yet through the pain, I feel exquisite pleasure. He groans into my neck as he sheaths himself to the hilt deep within me... He stills to give me a chance to get used to the feeling of him...there. I feel myself relax and only then does he start moving. He continues teasing me with his fingers whilst he gently thrusts upwards. He turns me towards him and kisses me with ardent passion. I curl my hand around his neck, deepening our kiss. He rumbles low in his throat and it resonates against my back and it excites me further and the fullness I feel... Maker help me... I think as I slowly move with him. He increases the pressure with his fingers and I groan. My stomach muscles clench tightly as do the muscles within me. They are contracting almost painfully so.

"Mari, for the love of the maker," he groans. "Let it go...Let it go...Let it go," he chants in my ear and I shatter into a million pieces of myself. He withdraws, turns me around and he grips my hips.

"Please, love, bring me home," he murmurs. I grip his shoulders. I know exactly what he wants. I kiss him...hard as I slowly sink onto him. He tightens his arms around me. His strokes are harder, desperate and I feel myself build...and build...and build. I tighten my hand around his neck as our movements change to raw, desperate need. I close my eyes.

He breaks off our kiss. "Let it go, my love...Let it go for me," he murmurs.

"Together," I whisper as I seal my mouth over his. He stills and then I feel it. I shatter, calling out his name at the same time he keens my name as he finds his release in me. He collapses onto the ground pulling me with him without losing our connection and I revel in the completeness he gives to me. I close my eyes and tune myself into his beating heart. It is slowing down, yet I find it immensely soothing. He is gently massaging my back in soothing circles. I am completely and utterly spent. This is by the far the most intense intimate encounter we have ever experienced in the few short weeks of knowing each other. I am too exhausted to even lift myself.

"Love," he murmurs. I find the strength to lift myself and our eyes lock.

"Thank you," he murmurs.

"Andy," I murmur as I stretch myself atop him. I cup his face and give him a chaste kiss. "Thank you," I whisper.

"Mmm...I packed food and cider for us," he murmurs.

"Maker, I don't know if I have the strength to move," I murmur as I slowly sit up. I wince. I am sore, but in a good way.

"You can expect to be sore for a few days... Unfortunately, I don't have elfroot salve with me. I only brought elfroot potion if you need it," he informs me.

"Mmm...How do you feel?" as I reach for his hands. He frowns. He is thinking and I want to laugh.

"Well, I am surprised, to say the least... I never... Love, I never thought..." he trails away, apparently at a loss for words.

"Would it please you to know that I never thought I had it in me either? Anders, that was the most satisfying intimate encounter I have ever experienced and it is more profound because I love you... My soul, Anders," I murmur resting his hand between my breasts. "My soul belongs to you, Andy," I continue.

"Mari, I love you... I am yours to take," he murmurs as he sits up. He repositions me on his lap and slips his arms around my waist. "Mmm...I like being close to you. It makes me happy," he whispers. I smile at him and give him a chaste kiss. I gently disentangle his arms from around me and I stand. It feels good to stand. I am tempted to stretch but the soreness reminds me to rather not. I hold out my hand that he takes and he stands. He scoops up our discarded underwear and clothing and we make our way – I shuffle – to where my cloak and his backpack are. He pulls out a blanket and lays it directly in the sun. He sets about taking out our food and cider and before long we are eating and drinking while we soak up the sun and with each passing minute, my pain recedes and in its wake is a sense of peace and utter contentment I haven't felt for a long time.

-o0o-

I am on his bed because there is no other comfortable place for me to sit. I am still deliciously sore from our afternoon activities, but I don't mind. We returned to the Clinic about two hours ago and I spent the better of part of those two hours, sleeping and I feel so refreshed yet I still feel utterly spent. I lean against the wall, stretching my legs out in front of me and I reflect on our wonderful afternoon. I am still tingling and madly so, but I think it is because I have caught the sun. My arms, legs, chest and back are slightly red, but I don't mind. Being out on the mountains was the best treat for me and I feel alive. I reach for his pillow and wrap my arms around it. It smells of everything Anders and with it comes an ache to spend time with him, but instead of climbing off the bed, I fall onto my side still clutching his pillow. I close my eyes and hope I don't have any nightmares. I fall into a deep sleep with thoughts of Anders swirling around my head.


	11. Salvation Book One Chapter Eleven

_**Chapter Eleven**_

"You look different," says Mother as she places a cup of tea in front of me. I glance at Anders and he gives me a knowing smile. He reaches for my hand and entwines our fingers.

"In what way, exactly?"

"I...I don't know... You just look different... And you have spent time in the sun," she says. I give Anders a knowing smile and I flush at the memory of our afternoon two days ago.

"We went to the mountains, Mom... To a place Merrill mentioned to Anders," I explain.

"Mmm... and by your heated expression... Dare I even ask what transpired?" she asks. I look away from her and play with his slender fingers.

"It was a relaxing afternoon, Mom... We soaked up the sun. We swam and we...relaxed," I explain. "And it was great being out in the fresh mountain air. It is far better than the city," I continue as I have a sip of tea. It is delicious and I smile my thanks.

"How do you feel, Mari?" she quietly asks. I lower my cup onto the table and look directly at her. In all honesty I am not sure how I feel about my ordeal. I haven't given much thought to it and now she is forcing me to think about. I push my chair back, and I stand. I wander to the window. There are children playing in the streets. They are kicking a ball between them and they are enjoying themselves as only children can enjoy themselves.

I sigh. "Am I supposed to feel something because at the moment, I don't know what I feel...? I feel relieved he won't hurt me, yet at the same time I can't help but blame myself."

"Why do you say that, Mari?" she asks. "Is it because you think deserved his...punishment?"

I roll my eyes. "Is that what they call it nowadays? I thought the word _assault_ was...appropriate. Obviously not..." I reply. "Perhaps I do feel deserving of such punishment as you so plainly put it," I continue and I instantly regret my words. It is not her fault and I shouldn't lash at my Mom for something my brother did.

I turn around and approach her. "I...I apologise, Mom... I shouldn't have said that and I meant nothing by it."

"I...I know...I am just so worried about you... You still have so much to do before this expedition gets off its feet," she says.

I roll my eyes again. "Of course. The expedition. Back to what is important and let's just forget about the fact that I was beaten...By my own brother, no less, not ten days ago." I glare at her. I have wrapped my arms protectively around myself and I am shivering. I glance at Anders. He is up and by my side in no time.

"I...I am sorry, Mom... It's a lot to take in...I haven't thought about it...I don't want to think about."

"Okay...Let's not discuss it for now. There is something that might take you mind off things. A runner dropped this note off yesterday," she says as she takes a rolled up note. She hands it to me and I unravel it. I frown. It is from Meeran.

"Why would I want to help Meeran, Mom?" I ask as I peruse it again.

"It's from Meeran? Why does he need your help?" she asks. I peruse it again.

"Mmm...It is not a job for Meeran as such. He writes that there is a dwarf – Anso – who needs assistance with something. He says I am to meet him in the _Lowtown_ _Bazaar_ tomorrow evening." I scrunch the note in disgust and I toss it onto the table. "I think I need to speak to Varric about this Anso before I make any decision."

"I would consider it...And besides, you will more than likely get paid and you need all the sovereigns you can get," she points out. I sigh and finger the trimming of my cloak. I stop doing that and pull it tightly around myself.

"Thank you for this cloak and the outfit you gave to me, Mom... You have no idea how much this cloak means to me," I whisper.

She smiles. "Of course I know how much it means to you, Mari, knowing that your Father gave it to me... You and you Father were extremely close..."

I swallow hard. I hate speaking about my Father. I didn't mind speaking to Anders about him, but I couldn't, not to my Mom. Not yet, anyway.

"Still difficult to speak about?" she casually asks. I want to smile and I do. She doesn't miss a thing.

"You know my reasons, Mom... I will speak when I feel I am ready, but until then, I would just like you to be patient. The memories are too painful...Please try to understand..." I turn away from her and make my way to the door.

"Going so soon?" she asks.

"I need fresh air... I will be outside," I reply. She says nothing to me as I step out onto the landing. I sit on the top step and focus my attention on the children playing together and I decide to join them. I jog down the stairs and they all crowd around me. There must be about six of them and I get caught up in their excitement. I briefly wonder how it would feel if one of them was mine. My heart warms at the thought. Imagine bringing a child into this world? And it would be our child. The thought is most welcoming. I shake my head, push it to the back of my mind and I focus my energy on the delighted chatter and laughter of the children as we have a friendly game of kickball. I smile. It is exhilarating and fun. All my worries seem to disappear until I am almost spinning on a high of my own making. I briefly think if it is normal feeling this way, but then again, I have been through one hell of an ordeal, so feeling this way is normal, I think, as I left kick the ball to my young team-mate. He grins at me. He has light brown hair and light brown eyes and I wonder if Anders and I should decide to have children, if that is what our son will look like. Again, the thought fills my heart with joy. To have a child with the man I love would be the ultimate gift we could give each other. I push the thought aside as he kicks the ball back to me, but another boy kicks it out from under me and now it is our turn to reclaim the ball. I am laughing as I attempt to take it from him, but he is just too quick for me. I collapse on the stair amidst their shouts of disappointment, but I am exhausted and I need to catch my breath. I hear familiar footfalls and I twist myself to investigate. Anders is coming towards me holding a cup of something. He sits on the step above me and two strong legs appear on either side of me. He leans over and gives me a mug of cider. It is ice cold and I glance up at him. He gives me a kiss.

"Drink..." he murmurs as he rests his hands on my thighs where he gently massages my inner thighs with his thumbs. I do as he says and I smile. It tastes very refreshing.

"Would you like a sip?" I offer.

"Mmm... You can give me one," he murmurs. I twist around and press the mug to his lips and he has a long sip.

"Hey...Leave some for me... I've been the one playing with the children...I need it more than you," I tease.

"That is true... Perhaps I should have poured some for myself," he murmurs. He takes the mug from me and presses it against my lips, returning the favour I bestowed upon him.

"Perhaps you should have, love," I murmur. He places it next to my legs and folds himself around me cocooning me in his warm embrace.

-o0o-

"Marian Amell-Hawke," greets Varric in his loud booming voice and all I can do is laugh. It has been too long since I last saw him. Anders pulls out my chair for me to sit and he pushes it in for me before giving me a quick kiss and a reassuring squeeze and then he is off to the bar to get us something to drink. I clasp my hands on the table in front of me.

"It's good to see you to, Varric," I murmur.

He frowns. "You look different somehow."

I laugh. "Do I and in what way do I look different?"

"You... I don't know. There is a sparkle in your eye that I have never seen before and you can't stop smiling..." he replies, leaning back in his chair. "Or does it have something to do with Blondie?"

I frown. "Blondie?"

"Anders, Marian. I am referring to Anders," he replies.

"No it doesn't have something to do with Anders. It has everything to do with Anders," I reply.

"So what has the mage done to make you feel the way you do?" he asks.

"What's with all the questions, Varric? Isn't it enough for you that I am happy? I am happy despite my ordeal... I am sure you have been told about that," I whisper.

"Sketchy details, but I can pretty much work the rest out myself..." he says softly. "But what I don't understand is why."

I lean back in my chair and fold my arms. "Varric, can we not rather speak about something else less personal, if you don't mind."

"Love, here you go." Anders places a tankard of ice cold cider in front of him and I eagerly drink. I am so thirsty. I glance at him over the top of my tankard and he is watching me close as he slowly drinks his cider. He does not break eye contact with me and the longer he watches me, the darker his eyes become and I start squirming in my seat. I force myself to look away from him and I turn towards Varric.

"Do you know a dwarf by the name of Anso?" I enquire. I take no notice as Anders moves his chair so that he is sitting next to me, but I do notice when he curls his hand over my thigh.

"Anso? I do know that name," replies Varric.

"Well?" I prompt.

"He is a member of the _Dwarven Merchant's Guild_... Why are you so interested?"

"You remember Meeran? The leader of the _Red Iron Mercenaries?_"

"How could I forget? You made an excellent name of yourself while you served them... Why the sudden interest?"

"I received a note from Meeran. It mentioned that this dwarf, Anso, might have a job for me. I am to meet him tomorrow night in the _Lowtown Bazaar_," I reply.

"And?"

"I am sceptical, Varric... It sounds...I don't know. I haven't heard from Meeran in nearly four months and now he is need of my assistance," I reply.

"Then what are you worrying about? We can speak to Anso and see what he has on offer. If he pays well, then that means more sovereigns for the expedition," he points out.

"So you think I should listen to what he has to say?"

"I don't see any harm in it... Come on, Marian... If anything you could do with the distraction considering what you have been through over the last ten days," he replies.

I laugh. "My Mother said the same thing to me, Varric and I am beginning to wonder why," I muse as I catch Anders' eye.

"Perhaps you do need to be distracted," he teases.

"Maybe...and I hope you are leaving yourself out of that equation," I tease as I curl my hand over his thigh. I don't stop there, I move upwards and I smile as he squirms. He reaches for my hand and entwines our fingers.

"Point taken, my love," he whispers, rather hoarsely and I laugh.

"Okay you two lovebirds. We were actually discussing something," Varric reminds us.

"We were? I thought it was over," I tease.

"Come now, Marian... What time is Anso going to be at the _Lowtown_ _Bazaar_ tomorrow night? And I hope we are going to go well-prepared. For all we know it might be a set-up," he says.

"Bianca is welcome to come with us, Varric. I won't object to having another woman around," I tease and he laughs. I shake my head in wry amusement as I have another sip of cider. I shiver. I have had enough so I push it away and I search the patrons for any familiar faces and my eyes rest on Isabela. She picks up her drink and sashays towards us. She unceremoniously falls into the only vacant chair, and she has a long sip of her drink. She wipes her mouth with the back of hand before she sets the tankard in front of her.

"Marian," she says and I hold up my hand.

"If you have anything to say, I am not interested," I whisper.

"I...I was not going to mention Carver, Marian," she says. His name hangs in the air like a black cloud between us.

"Then what were you going to say?" I ask as I curl my hand around my tankard.

"That I am truly sorry for what happened to you. He is an absolute bastard. I've seen his type before. Dangerous, calm and collected. You cannot trust someone like that and I am truly sorry he assaulted you," she replies. I relax my hand and rest it on the table. Anders closes his hand over mine in a comforting gesture and I smile gratefully at him.

"I...I...I don't know what to say, Isabela..." I murmur.

"Hey, sometimes it is best to say nothing at all... I just wanted you to know that I am sorry. I've seen too many men like that in my life, but I never thought _he _was anything remotely like the aggressive type until Aveline walked in here with a couple of her guardsmen and arrested him...Marian, he put up one hell of a fight. It took four men to restrain him...and even that wasn't enough," she explains.

I lean back in my chair, press my fingers against my temples and close my eyes. This is too much for me to absorb. I don't want to hear anything more. I stand, grab Anders' hand and drag him onto the dance floor. I step onto his feet and rest my head on his shoulder and I slip my arms around his neck.

"Dance with me," I murmur.

He kisses my cheek. "As you wish, my love..."

-o0o-

"Now, this is how you dance, love," he says as he places his hand on my hip whilst he clasps my right hand with his. I want to laugh at his _trying-to-be-stern _expression because he looks ridiculous, but instead of laughing, I smile.

"Love, try to concentrate," he says, amused.

"I am, but you look ridiculous," I tease.

"Love, do you want to learn or not?" he asks, exasperated.

"I do...I will try to behave," I reply.

"Excellent. Now, keep your eyes on mine," he says as he glances around his clinic. We moved the makeshift cots to the sides to give us enough room and I don't want to spoil for it.

"My eyes are always on yours," I murmur.

He laughs. "Love, what am I going to do with you?"

"Teach me, Andy... I want to be as fluid and graceful as you," I reply.

"Well, that shouldn't be a problem because in bed, you are fluid and graceful," he teases.

"Anders!"I admonish and it doesn't help matters that my cheeks are too warm. Too warm from our evening in the tavern laughing and playing _Wicked Grace_ with Isabela whilst we all drank our preferred drinks. It was well after eight pm when we returned home and he attempted teaching me to dance. It is nearly ten pm and we haven't got very far.

"Love, I was merely teasing, but you do look lovely right about now. It makes me want to take you to bed," he teases.

"Oh...Anders..." I look away from him because I am so flustered.

"Hey," he murmurs as he gently lifts my chin.

"What?" I whisper.

"Mmm...I know what will make you feel better," he murmurs, and before I realise it, he is kissing me with ardent passion and I instinctively slip my arms around his neck to deepen our kiss.

"Mmm...Okay, Mari. Enough..." he murmurs as he gently pushes me away.

"Anders," I murmur, disappointed.

"You wanted to learn how to dance and that is exactly what I am going to do. Now, focus...And love, don't look so disappointed for the night is still young," he says.

"I know...I just thought... Nevermind... Let's get on with it shall we?"

"Love... Don't be annoyed... I promise to make it up to you," he says.

"Okay... Are you ready?" I ask. He nods as he clasps my right whilst placing his left hand on my hip.

"Look at me," he instructs. I do as he says. His eyes are very dark, undoubtedly with unspent passion and his hair is unruly and it makes me smile.

"You ready?" he asks.

"Yes," I reply.

"Excellent. Now, I will lead and you will follow..." he instructs. I nod.

"Okay... I step forward, you step backward," he says. He steps forwards and I step backwards.

"Excellent... On the count of three... One...Two...Three," he says. He takes another step forward and I step backwards. It is not long until I am smiling warmly at him. He is an excellent dancer and to my surprise, I am moving as gracefully and fluidly as he as we circle his Clinic a second time. He pulls me closer, only to twirl me away from him. I laugh as we come together. We circle the Clinic a third time and I am thoroughly enjoying myself.

"You are a natural..." he murmurs.

"Well, you said I was graceful and fluid in bed, Anders..."

"Mmm...Point well-made, my love," he says, twirling me around again. I twirl back into his arms and he comes to a standstill.

"And now?"

"I need you," he replies.

"In what way, exactly?"

"You will see, but first we need to straighten my Clinic. I don't want my patients coming in tomorrow when it is looking like this," he says.

"Let me assist you, love," I offer.

"No...You go to bed, Mari. You look...tired and pale," he says softly.

"I feel fine, Anders, I really do."

"I insist, Mari, and I won't take long," he says.

I sigh. "Okay... See you in a bit." I turn around and wander into our room. I slowly undress myself. It feels good to be free of my clothing. I fill a basin with water and quickly wash myself. It is not long until I am snuggled under the blankets, trying to fight of my exhaustion and I realise he is right, I am tired and I give up the fight against my sleep. Instead I allow it to take me and I hope that I won't have any nightmares tonight.

-o0o-

I smile as a warm familiar body slides along mine and I open my eyes. The moonlight is bathed across his face and he is gazing at me with utmost concentration.

"Hey," I murmur as I play with his hair.

"Did I disturb you? If I did, I apologise. You were looking lovely and I wanted a closer look," he explains.

I chuckle. "Really? Somehow I find that difficult to believe."

"Don't wound me, Mari... It is the truth," he says softly.

I frown. "I...Love...I apologise for assuming otherwise."

"Mmm...Apology accepted. Now that I have your undivided attention, are we going to continue where we left off about an hour ago?"

"An hour? I have only been asleep for an hour? It feels far longer than that," I reply.

"It's been on hour, love..." he murmurs as he frames my face with his hands.

"So did you straighten your Clinic?"

"Yes, but I missed you," he says.

"Mmm...You wanted me to go to bed, Andy and that is exactly what I did. Needless to say, I was feeling tired, but now I am wide awake and waiting patiently for you to decide what you would like to do now," I murmur.

"I can think of several, but I think I will settle for holding you close. You do look tired and sleep is the best thing for you right now," he says.

"Mmm...Holding me close sounds promising..." I whisper. He grins at me, gives me a kiss and rolls off me. He settles behind me and pulls me flush against his warm body, but I want to see his face. I turn onto my side and he pulls me as close as he can.

"That's better," I whisper.

"Please get some sleep... If you need something to help you, wake me and I will get it for you," he whispers.

"Mmm...I don't think I will need anything tonight, but thank you for offering," I whisper.

"I love you, Mari," he murmurs as he gently kisses my forehead.

"I love you more, Andy," I whisper as I nestle into him, and close my eyes. He gives me another kiss as he tightens his arms around me. I feel myself drifting. I don't fight it. Instead, I welcome it...


	12. Salvation Book One Chapter Twelve

_**Chapter Twelve**_

I am literally bouncing on my feet in my eagerness to see Aveline. It is five pm and Anders and I are on our way to meet her and Varric at the tavern for our task this evening.

"Hey, slow down, Mari. She is not going anywhere," says Anders as he catches my hand from behind. I am jerked backwards and he wraps his arm around my waist to prevent me from losing my footing.

"Andy," I murmur.

"I know you want to see her, but just slow down," he suggests.

I sigh. He is right. I need to slow down. We don't know what we are getting ourselves involved with tonight. I stand still and take a few gulps of air.

"Just relax, Mari..." he murmurs.

"I am trying... It is proving to be difficult," I murmur.

"Mmm...You feel tense," he states.

"I am, Anders... Surely there is something you can do about that?"

"Let's go inside, Mari. Perhaps you will feel better once you have spoken to Aveline," he suggests.

"You think?"

He laughs. "I don't think, I know."

"Love, you are full of nonsense..." I whisper.

"No...Not really. I love you and you worry me. Your ordeal was quite an ordeal. Maker knows what I will do if anyone ever lays their hands on you... He can be grateful he is in the Keep dungeons," he trails away.

"It is not what you would do to him, Andy... It is what I would do to him if I ever see him again, that is what worries me. I will do serious damage if he ever sets so much as a foot in my direction and no-one will be able to stop me either."

"Mari," he says as he places his hands on my shoulders.

"Yes?" I whisper as I turn around to look at him. I reach out and touch his cheek.

"You are better than he is... I don't want you lose yourself to your gift..." he murmurs.

"But he hurt me, Anders, emotionally and physically. My nightmares are worse. I sleep, but it is anything but restful. Last night...You know what happened last night," I whisper. I had a very difficult night without his tea to help me sleep. I was very restless. Eventually I woke him up.

"Oh love, I will protect you...You weren't so bad last night. You slept extremely well after the tea I made for you," he says.

"That is true. I remember falling asleep feeling warm and cosy wrapped in your arms..." I whisper.

"Hey...As soon as we have completed our task this evening, we can do the same, "he suggests.

"If all goes well, you mean." I say as we step into the tavern.

"Love, what is bothering you?" he asks.

"I am anxious, Anders. This is the first task since my...ordeal." I look directly into his eyes. "I'm scared, Anders..."

"Mari..." he murmurs, enfolding me in his arms. "Why did you not tell me? You are not ready for this... It's only been a week."

"I'm so scared, Anders... How am I supposed to make coin if I am scared out of my wits?" I whisper.

"Mari...It will be fine and besides, Aveline and Varric will be with us," he softly says as he gently pushes me away. He is so concerned about me and for no reason, except that he cares, a lump forms in my throat. I would never have got through my week after the ordeal if it weren't for his love and patience.

"I know, but I can't help it...Although I will do just about anything to make enough sovereigns for the expedition..." I smile up at him. "You are going to come with me?"

"Oh Mari... You know I don't like the Deep Roads, yet I don't want you to go without me..." he replies.

"Is...Is that a _yes_?" I barely whisper.

"Love, I know how dangerous the _Deep Roads_ can be and I am not about to allow my beautiful girlfriend to venture into them without me and besides, I am a Grey Warden and I can sense darkspawn," he says.

"Anders, why are you so sweet? Do you really think I am beautiful?"

"Mari, I love you and I do think you are beautiful... Do you want me show you how beautiful I think you are?" he asks, reaching for my hands.

"Now?" I whisper.

"Yes, now," he replies. He slips his arms around my waist and slides them along my back and curls his hands over my shoulders. He leans towards me. He is going to kiss me and by the intense look in his eyes, it is going to be quite a kiss. I curl my hand around his neck, drawing him closer. My breathing hitches. My cheeks flood with heat and he hasn't kissed me yet. He lightly touches my cheek with his fingers.

"I love you," he whispers as he presses his lips against mine. He seeks entrance and I give it to him. I thread my fingers through his hair, forgetting where we are as I mold myself to his warm, strong body.

"Maker, I want you," I whisper against his mouth.

"I know..." he murmurs, kissing me again and somewhere in the distance, someone is cheering us on and that someone sounds like Isabela. I am instantly irritated.

"Enough," I murmur.

"Mmm...I love you," he whispers, breaking off our kiss. I am shaking so much, I need to see. I grab his arm for support.

"I will be as soon as I have cooled down," I reply.

"Love, what am I going to do with you?" he asks as he wraps his arm around my waist.

"I don't know... Kiss me again, maybe?" I reply.

"Maybe later, but Aveline and Varric are waiting patiently for us and in all honesty, the sooner we speak to Anso, the better," he says.

"You mean the sooner we get home, the better?" I reply.

"Marian Amell-Hawke, are you teasing me?" he asks.

"Maybe," I reply.

"Mmm...I am going to have to do something about that," he says. I glance at him. There is a mischievous twinkle in his eye that makes my stomach clench in anticipation as to what he has planned for us for later tonight, but that is pushed to the back of my mind as soon as I notice Aveline coming towards us. I shrug free of his arms and I launch myself into her arms.

She laughs. "Marian...Marian..." She says as she gently pushes me away and she studies my face. "You look..."

"Different? I know," I finish for her.

"Yes...You do look different...I would ask why but I think my answer would be Anders," she says.

"He has been very good to me, Aveline."

"I can see that and you look much better, except for the dark circles...," she says.

I look away. "I'm just tired, Aveline. I didn't sleep restfully last night and I want to get this task over and done with so that I can go home and spend time with Anders."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go, Mari," she says, beckoning to Varric. He grins, stands up and straps his trusty crossbow on his back and he saunters towards us as if he has all the time in the world.

"Are we ready?" he asks.

"Let's go," I reply.

As we are about to walk out of the tavern, Isabela calls me. I sigh in exasperation and turn around.

"What is it?"

"Let me come with you, Marian. I can help if you run into trouble," she suggests.

"Okay...Just don't mention...You know of whom I speak," I murmur.

"On my honour," she says.

"If you have any," I tease and she laughs a low sultry laugh.

"I have very little," she says.

"Obviously," I murmur. I turn around, reach for Andy's hand and I lead everyone outside. It is cool this evening and there are dark clouds gathering and I shiver. I can't help it. It brings back memories. Memories I don't want to think about just yet. Memories of that rainy night when _he_...

"Andy," I whisper.

"Mari... Aveline, wait... She...She...Shit," he says just as I vomit. I miss his feet by a few short inches. "Shit...I knew she wasn't ready for this... Mari, look at me," he urgently whispers. I have to look at him. He cups my face in his hands and stares deeply into my eyes.

"Breathe, love, breathe," he encourages. I take a few deep breaths and my head clears.

"I'm fine... I will be fine..." I whisper.

"Okay...But I am not convinced," he says.

"Mmm...Nor am I... Let's go..." I beckon to the others to follow me. Aveline touches my hand and I acknowledge her simple gesture with a brief nod before descending the stairs into the _Lowtown Bazaar_.

o0o

I kick the empty chest in outrage because it is empty unlike Anso said. He told us he was looking for something of us that was stolen and that something, I suspected, was Lyrium. Anso looked high on something when he told us what he wanted from us. He promised he would pay us _handsomely_ if we retrieved his _lost property_... That is what he called it. _Some lost property_, I think as I kick the chest a second time and it doesn't help matters that I am not...feeling well. My stomach is in a tight knot, it is almost painful and my shoulders are so tense, I can barely wriggle them around. I cannot believe we have been set-up. I can't believe I have been so blinded by Meeran...a second time. I should have realised his letter was an empty promise considering the fall-out I had with him a few months ago. I turn around and search everyone's faces. Isabela is amused and she wants to say something.

"An empty chest is like an empty bed...What a waste," she says.

"And you would know this, how?" I ask, folding my arms across my chest. My head gives a painful twinge and I briefly close my eyes.

"Does it matter? The point is that we have wasted our efforts," says Anders who is watching me closely.

"It matters to me, Anders... All this effort and for what? To find an empty chest?" I mutter as I step over the prone body of a thug. He jumped us as soon as we entered this house and out of another room, a few more thugs jumped us. They didn't get very far. I glance at Aveline and she is shaking her head in annoyance, maybe? I can't be sure.

"Hey, at least they will be locked up to, Aveline. Four less thugs for us and you to worry about."

"It never ends, Mari... Every day, my men are arresting thugs and bandits alike... Every day, more seem to plague the streets," she says.

"At least our streets are a bit safer than they were a couple of months ago."

"I know... Come, let's go and report this to Anso. It will be interesting to see what he has to say for himself," she says, leading us outside. I shiver as soon as I feel the cold breeze on my arms and I look heavenwards. There is not even a star out and the moon is barely providing us with enough light, so I quickly conjure a fireball. It floats above us and illuminates the _Vhenandal –the tree of the people_. I take comfort in the tree, but I hear something. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle uncomfortably. I dart my eyes nervously around the too-quiet Alienage. Something is amiss and I don't know what it is us, then I realise the crickets are not chirping and the wind has dropped. I look upwards – the clouds are dark and ominous. I can't seem to shake the feeling we are being watched.

"Mari, what is -?" murmurs Anders when a group of men and women emerge from behind the tree led by a Tevinter Magister. I'd recognise a Tevinter Magister anywhere. They wear black fur turbans bearing the symbol of the Tevinter Imperium and they are blood mages.

"That is not the elf. Who is that?" asks a woman, drawing her weapon as she looks at each of us in turn. I clench my fists because my mana is stirring as well as my blood.

A man approaches us, unsheathing his daggers. "It doesn't matter. We were told to kill whoever enters the house."

I close my eyes in an effort to control my mana, but it is no use. I open my eyes and look at my hands – they are glowing in a red-white light and for a change, I am grateful I don't have my dagger with me. At least I won't cut myself to use my magic. I open my eyes and glare defiantly at the man and woman, daring them to attack and my mana surges to my fingertips, unleashing a ball of energy that knocks them back. We are quickly surrounded and it doesn't bother me – I unleash another bolt of energy and they stumble backwards. It gives us a chance to spread out. Anders has the good sense to stay close to me and that is when I hear – the all too familiar sound of a mage readying himself for a powerful attack. Everything slows as I turn towards the sound. Anders turns with me, but he pushes me to the side just at the Magister unleashes the full force of his attack...at Anders. I watch in horror as the man I love is sent flying into the air and I watch in horror as he hits the ground with a hard thump and the pain sweeping through me is so intense. I don't know what I am doing except I am trying to find something to draw on my blood magic. The air is heavy with the scent of blood as my companions attack the thugs. I once again hear that humming sound. I am not going to allow him to harm anyone else. I scramble over to Anders and unsheathe his dagger. I cut myself before realising I have done so and a great sense of power sweeps through me. I approach the Magister and before he launches his attack, I have sent him flying backwards into the wall and I hear the unmistakable sound of his neck snapping. I turn away, satisfied that he is out of the way and I approach my companions. I cast fireball at the few remaining thugs and they disperse, screaming as flames burn their bodies. I heave. Burning bodies has never been something I can cope with because the smell of burning flesh is too overwhelming, but a muffled plea of help, draws my attention.

"Anders!" I murmur. I quickly kneel beside him and I gently lift his head onto my lap. "Please don't die on me, Andy... Heal yourself."

He grabs my wrist. "Why?"

"Never-mind why, Anders... Heal yourself..." I reply, closing my eyes and summoning my strength. I know I can heal him. I just have to find my faith. I am a natural healer, much like Anders. I feel my mana surge through my body and it is very soothing. I won't be able to heal myself. Blood mages are immune to healing in any form whilst they are bleeding, but I can heal others. I close my eyes and free my mind of all things expect for the man in my arms. I reach for his hands and very slowly my healing magic flows between us. Each wave of healing that strengthens him weakens me. I am not going to lose my focus. I try harder. I summon all my strength until my head starts spinning in protest.

"Mari...That is enough," murmurs Anders. His firm tone snaps me out of my mode of healing. My mana slowly recedes back into the deep recesses of my body.

"Andy?" I whisper as I gently stroke his face.

"I'm here, Mari...I'm here... You can stop healing me... Save your strength," he murmurs as he slowly sits up. I am not aware that Aveline is speaking to someone until she calls me. I glance over my shoulder just in time to see an elf plunge his fist into a man's chest.

"I am not your slave," says the elf as the man drops to his feet. He is dead and this piques my interest. What power is this, I wonder as I study the elf. He has green eyes, similar to Merrill's. He has white hair and black bushy elbows and his complexion is grey, but what draws my attention is that he is covered in what I assume to be tattoos of some sort. It dawns on me that perhaps this is where his unusual power comes from, but what makes my skin crawl is the way he is looking at me... I instinctively slip my arms around Anders who is barely managing to keep himself upright, yet he slips a strong arm around my waist and pulls me into him as if to say _she-is-mine-so-don't-get-any-ideas_. I want to laugh at him, but I am not in the mood for any humour. I glance at my companions, and they appear fine except for a few cuts here and there.

The elf speaks. "I apologise. When I hired Anso to provide a distraction for the hunters, I had no idea they would be so...numerous."

I glare at him."What? They were after you?"

"I am afraid so...My name is Fenris and these men were Imperial bounty hunters seeking to recover a magister's lost property, mainly myself. They were trying to lure me out into the open. Crude as their methods were, I could not face them alone. Thankfully Anso chose wisely," he explains.

I shake my head. "What? So this was nothing more than a ploy to free you? My companion has been injured, Fenris and for what? Just so that you could go free?"

"Well, yes and no," he replies and this angers me further. He is being deliberately evasive.

"Really, now? Because it seemed like a lot of effort to find one slave. Does this have anything to do with those tattoo-like markings decorating your body?"

"Yes. I imagine I must look strange to you, but I did not receive these markings by choice. Even so they have served me well. Without them I would still be a slave," he explains.

I roll my eyes in anger and frustration. "Anso lied to me?"

"No...Your employer was simply not who you believed," he replies.

"And I suppose you are _my_ employer?" I don't hide my sarcasm. If he notices, he doesn't acknowledge it and he is not telling me everything.

"Why not run, instead of fighting them?"

"Mmm...There comes a time when you must stop running, when you turn around and face the tiger," he replies. I don't know what to think. I don't believe in slavery, yet mages are treated as such, if not worse, every day. I don't know whether to believe Fenris or not.

I sigh. "If they were really trying to recapture you, then I am happy I helped."

"I...This is a surprise. I have met few on my travels who have sought anything more than personal gain," he quietly says. I laugh. If he knew that I was only after sovereigns, he would not have said that.

"That does not excuse you from risking our lives, Fenris. These good people are my friends. This man next to me, is the most important person in my life and we have just risked our lives for you... "I trail away. I reach for Anders' hand and give it a squeeze.

"I...I know... Was there anything in the chest?" asks Fenris.

"It was empty," I reply.

"I suppose it was too much to hope for, but I had to know," he comments.

"Were you expecting something else?" I politely enquire.

"I was, but I guess I shouldn't have. It was bait, nothing more," he replies.

"You really didn't have to lie to get my help," I murmur.

He kneels beside the man he murdered and he feels out his pockets. Finding nothing, he stands. "That remains to be seen... It was as I thought. My former master accompanied them to the city. I know you have questions, but I must confront him before he flees. I will need your help."

"What? You lured me into a trap, Fenris and now you want my help?"

"If Anso told you to divert an ambush of Tevinter bounty hunters, would you have done it?" asks Fenris.

I run my fingers through my hair and I look towards the sky. A drop of rain hits my face and again, that memory haunts me, but I push it aside.

"That is not the point because it should have been my decision either way," I reply.

"Had I known of you earlier, I would have asked you personally. I had only Anso to rely on, I fear, but I am not lying to you now. Please help me," he implores.

"How dare you assume I would have helped you if you sought me out yourself? You have no idea what I am capable of when I am angry and I am angry right now..."I take a deep breath and slowly exhale.

"What do I gain from it?"

"I...I will give you all the coin I have," he replies.

"Why do I get the feeling you intend to do more than just talk?"

"Danarius wants to strip the flesh from my bones and he has sent so many hunters that I have lost count and before that he kept me on a leash like a Qunari mage, a personal pet to mock Qunari custom," he explains.

I sigh. "I pity you, I do, but the mages in Kirkwall fare worse than anyone else this side of the Waking Sea."

"What does it matter? I need your help. Please say you will help me," he implores.

"It matters to me, Fenris... If this is another set up," I trail away because Anders has very gently placed his finger on my lips.

"Think of the sovereigns, love," he murmurs. I reach for his hand and kiss the palm.

"I just want to go home, but I guess that is not happening any time soon," I murmur.

"Fine...We will help you, but if there is any funny business," I warn.

"Thank you... I promise to give you all the coin I have," he says softly.

-o0o-

"I can't believe this," I mutter. I am soaked. We are all soaked from the light drizzle of rain. I glare at Fenris as I pass him a third time. He is leaning against the wall, giving nothing away. We did a thorough search of the mansion only to be attacked by creatures from the Fade. I shudder at the memory of shades – malignant spirits – as they surrounded me. For some reason they were inexorably drawn to me. I know why, of course, but that is not why I am so angry. Fenris made his hatred of mages known as soon as we cleared the mansion of the Fade creatures. We hardly set foot outside when he demanded to know whether I was seeking power and I did not use blood magic because blood magic can only be used if there are people around, not shades or rage demons. By the look in his eyes, he would have killed me then and there and I regret ever agreeing to assist him. He has the same look of loathing in his eyes as my brother and it frightens me.

"Mari," murmurs Anders as he reaches for my hand. I take a deep breath. The fresh cool air does wonders to clear my head and I feel more confident despite my growing anxiety.

"So, you have issues with mages?" I finally ask as I stand directly in front of him.

"I have issue with those who lust after power. Mages are dangerous and they should be locked up," he replies.

"So says an ex-slave," I mutter. I clench my fists in an effort to control my increasing anger...and the urge to lash out. He sounds just like my brother and I could do without the likes of him.

"It might interest you to know..." I trail away, thinking it is best not to disclose to him what I really am and I don't want to tell him what I am.

"A thank you would be most welcoming, Fenris... For risking our lives for the likes of you," I murmur coldly.

He looks away from me. "I don't mean to sound ungrateful; however I owe you a debt. Here is all the coin I have and if you are in need of any assistance, I will be here, in Danarius' Mansion..."

"Ha...I think we are done, Fenris and what makes you think I am going to ask for your assistance with anything especially now that you have told me – in not so many words – that you would rather not be seen in the company of mages and I don't wish to be seen with you... I have had enough trouble with mage-haters. I don't need someone else to make things worse for me," I declare.

"Marian, that is quite enough," says Aveline as she places a restraining hand on my arm. I don't understand why until I look at my hands – they are glowing brightly. I look into her concerned green eyes.

"Aveline," I whisper as I fling my arms around her neck. "I don't need someone like him, Aveline...He...He reminds me too much of my brother and the fear."

"Mari, perhaps you should give him a chance to prove his worth before you become too judgemental. Perhaps his reasons for his hatred are deep-seated. Just like the reasons for your choices...and besides, we might need someone like him. He is very good with a greatsword..." she points out. I smile. He was very impressive with his weapon, for an elf.

"Okay... I will give him a chance, but we already have established our differences..." I say.

"Does it matter? Not everyone feels the same about mages as you and Anders, you know," she says.

I sigh. "I know that...You really think he could prove useful?" I ask, as I study the elf. He is leaning against the wall, with his hands shoved in his pockets whilst he and Isabela are exchanging pleasantries. She reaches out and touches his shirt and he blushes.

"Does your flattery know no bounds?" he asks Isabela.

"No... Would you like to come back with Varric and I to the _Hanged Man_ for a couple of drinks and a round of _Wicked Grace_?" she asks.

"_Wicked Grace_, you say?" he asks.

"Yes...And a couple of drinks... I doubt Aveline will join us and Marian and Anders will definitely not join us," she replies. I shake my head in wry amusement and I reach for Anders' hand.

"Well, we will see you another day," I say as I slip my arm around his waist. I look at him from the corner of of my eye and he looks pale...

"Are you feeling alright, love?" I murmur.

"No... But I will be as soon as we are out of this rain and cold," he replies.

"Then let's go... Walk with us, Aveline," I call. She says her goodbyes to the others and all too soon, I have to say goodbye to her.

"Look after yourself, Mari," she says.

"I will," I reassure her.

-o0o-

I unbutton his shirt and toss it onto the ground and I gulp as I lightly skim my fingers along his chest. He is very bruised. I trail my fingers from his chest, over his upper arm and around to his back and he tenses.

"Love, please, it's... Mari, I am so sore," he whimpers. He never whimpers and the fact that he is tells me he is experiencing a lot of pain.

"Love, please lie down," I murmur as I gently ease him onto the bed. He grabs his pillow and lies on his stomach hugging the pillow. I open the cabinet and rummage around for Elfroot salve. I smile as I feel the familiar bottle. I go back to Anders and pour some of the salve onto his back and I slowly massage it in. I don't want to hurt him and I don't think I am until he lets out a strangled distressed cry.

"Please just try to relax, Andy," I murmur. "Tell me about your childhood," I suggest. I continue massaging his back as gently as I can and I am surprised to feel my healing magic stir beneath my fingertips. It has been so long since I last felt my healing magic and with it, the memory of my Father's death comes back and how I failed to heal him. I swallow the lump in my throat and I push the memory to the furthest reaches of my mind. I close my eyes and focus my energy on my healing magic. _I can do this. I can heal him._ I open my eyes and I smile. My hands are glowing brightly. My energy is pure white and he starts glowing beneath my hands. For a minute I think Justice is going to take control of Anders, but I realise that he – Anders – is healing himself. We remain silent and I find that difficult, because I feel empowered by my own healing magic. Surely I can overcome my use of blood magic? The thought sounds most appealing and I continue healing him with renewed hope.

"Mmm...My childhood... What would you like to know?" he softly asks as he manages to turn himself onto his back. There is no sign of pain in his eyes and it makes me smile.

I straddle him and pour a generous amount of the salve onto his chest. "Anything you would like to share with me and perhaps I can tell you about my childhood."

He grasps my hips with his hands as I lean forward to gain better access to his chest and he rumbles low in his throat. I wonder why as I sit back and it is not long until I realise why. I grin cheekily at him as I lean towards him. I gently massage the salve into his chest amidst sighs of approval from him.

"Well, I was the youngest of three children and the only child to be born with magical talent. My father barely tolerated me, but my Mother – she taught me how to control my gift. In fact, she was the one who realised I was very gifted with the _Healing Arts_. She would often-times take me along to assist with particularly difficult patients in the village not far from our home. She taught me how to control my gift. I don't know how she knew how to teach me because she was not a mage. She told me that I was the first person to be born with magical talent on both sides of the family. Funnily enough, I was not comforted by the thought," he trails away. I sit back on my knees and reach for his hands that are still holding my hips and I entwine our fingers.

"They came for me when I was twelve, Mari..." he softly whispers. His voice catches and he looks away from me.

I touch his cheek. "You don't have to tell me if you find it too difficult."

"I need to...Just give me a moment," he murmurs as he squeezes his eyes shut and to my surprise, a single tear slides down his cheek. _Love...what happened?_

"Mari, the templars came for me when I was twelve. They stormed our house – I don't know how they knew about it me – and they found me cowering behind my Mom. They shoved her aside, grabbed me and shackled my wrists with a heavy-duty chain. I...I couldn't defend myself. She tried, but they shoved her off her feet and my Father...He stood by and watched and in that moment I realised he was responsible. The bastard didn't even bother assisting my Mom or checking to see if she was alright. He stood, with arms folded and he did nothing, Mari. He did absolutely nothing to help her. My siblings were too afraid to do anything. The only thing I was allowed to take with me was my Mom's pillow and a few clothes...The templars only allowed a brief farewell between my Mom and I before they dragged me away from her, kicking and screaming. I was twelve, Mari... Why did they have shackle me as if I were a criminal? I was too young to really understand my gift, but I did fully understand the dangers of magic because she ensured I knew the dangers. Why did they have to shackle me?" he murmurs, holding his hands up in front of me. I reach for his hands and press them against my chest.

"Did you ever hear from your Mother after that?" I whisper.

He looks away from me. "No...I never heard from her. I wrote, of course, but whether she received my letters, I would not know."

"Love," I whisper.

"It was a long time ago, Mari... I never speak about it... It hurts too much... At least I had Wynne who was my mentor and Solona as my friend and of course, First Enchanter Irving who was the Father I never had," he murmurs.

"Is that why you hate the templars to the extent that you do?"

"Yes...It makes me angry to see mages suffer to this extent and Justice fuels my anger. It is going to destroy me in the end," he replies.

"Please don't say that, Anders. I can't bear the thought of losing you..." I whisper.

"Love, as much as I am your shining light, you are my shining light and as long as we remain strong, then we can overcome anything," he murmurs.

"Do you believe that?" as I stretch myself along the length of his body.

"I do believe that, Mari..." he replies.

"Mmm... I am beginning to believe that to," I whisper. I frame his face with my hands and I gently press my lips against his. He lets out a low sigh of approval. He slips his arms around me and he gingerly rolls with me until I am trapped beneath his warm body. He pulls back slightly to brush my fringe back before he kisses me. I slip my arms under his and curl my hands around his shoulders as he trails kisses from my chin. I bend my head slightly to give him access to my throat and he rumbles appreciatively. His rumbling resonates to my happy place and I laugh softly because we both know where our time together is going to lead us and I am all too happy to lose myself in the man I love...


	13. Salvation Book One Chapter Thirteen

_**Chapter Thirteen**_

I frown at Varric who refuses to look at me. We have just returned from another job that promised to pay well, but we came away empty-handed and I am more than annoyed with him – I am furious. He arranged a meeting with a dwarf Javaris Tintop who promised to pay us well if we got rid of the Tal-Vashoth camped along the Wounded Coast. The Tal-Vashoth are Qunari outcasts who once followed the Qun – their religion. I lower my gaze and stare unseeingly into the amber liquid of my drink...

-o0o-

_Earlier today..._

_I shake Javaris Tintop's hand before I sit. I somehow don't trust him, but I can't refuse the promise of more sovereigns._

"_So what do you want from us?"_

"_Well, I am going to get to the point... Those horn-heads have a powder that explodes and it is just dust, no lyrium, no demons...and anyone can use," he replies._

"_I...I have heard of this, Mari. It is why their ships are so feared," murmurs Anders._

_I frown. "I doubt they were eager to sell."_

"_No, they weren't. The Arishok said I wasn't worthy, that only their outcasts, the Tal-Vashoth, are that mercenary... I said 'Great, I will go talk to them. It did not go over well," continues Javaris._

"_I can't imagine why," I murmur dryly._

"_But, it made me think – maybe he will bargain if I get rid of something that bothers him more than me..." he says._

"_The Tal-Vashoth," I state._

"_Exactly... Are you up for some paid hunting?" he asks._

"_Depends... How much are you offering?" I ask knowing full-well that Aveline is not going to be pleased with me for using coercion tactics._

"_It depends on how well you do the job," he replies. I laugh. He knows how to drive a hard bargain, but there is something dishonest in his eyes as if he is hiding something and I am immediately suspicious..._

"_Surely your people have something like that already?"_

"_Small things, shaped to crack faults, not shatter the earth and its mostly lyrium... Expensive, poisonous, the Chantry controls it topside, the glow makes you a target: problem after problem," he replies. He is right, of course. The Chantry controls the amount of lyrium even the amount of lyrium their templars use..._

_I sigh. "What is the point when we already have magic that can do the same thing?"_

"_Maybe you have magic, all tough and human and what not, but what of the common man? How does he remove stumps from his land, or produce them on his enemies? What does he do when he needs a hole far too fast? Magic is hard to market, but this stuff... this stuff you can put in a bag," he replies..._

-o0o-

I bring myself back to the here and now and I have another sip of my drink. I am grateful it is something stronger than cider. We tracked the Tal-Vashoth along the _Wounded Coast_ to a cave on the furthest point. Reflecting back, I feel a pang of disappointment. It was the first time since our arrival in _Kirkwall_ that we ventured to the _Wounded Coast_ and it wasn't even for a relaxing walk. It was to get rid of the Tal-Vashoth and we fought. When we ventured into the cave, there were more of them and there was what they Qunari call a Saarebas – a Qunari mage_ – _and he was extremely powerful. I finger my recent scar and I avoid looking at Anders. I had no choice but to use blood magic otherwise we would not be sitting at the tavern, drinking. I sigh. After we got rid of them, we returned to _Kirkwall_ and we went directly to the _Qunari Compound_. The Arishok was less-than impressed with us and he refused to give the Gaatlock to Javaris. I was relieved and I still am. He proved to be dishonest and the Arishok told him he had no honour. He told Javaris to leave and he told us that there was no coin for us. We came away empty-handed and Anders is annoyed with me for using blood magic. I finish my drink and stand, thinking that now would be the perfect time to visit my Mother. I don't even say goodbye to them. I turn on my heel and I head for the door. I don't get very far when he grabs my hand and yanks me backwards. He quickly turns me around. He doesn't say a word. He kisses me...hard and against my better judgement, I respond. He rains kisses along my face.

"Why, Mari?" he murmurs.

"Andy, what choice did I have? We would have perished if I did not use it..." I reply.

"You nearly passed out, Mari... I don't know where you found the strength to keep it up," he murmurs.

"Would it surprise you that you were at the forefront of my mind when I used it? Love, nothing compares to the pain I feel at the thought of losing you... It drove me onwards. It is where I found my strength..." I reply.

"But love -?" he murmurs as I kiss him, preventing him from completing his sentence.

"I need you, Andy," I whisper, deepening our kiss. He is rigid against me and the thought of our activities a few weeks ago sounds exciting.

"Love... No," he murmurs.

"I want you...in that way," I murmur, dragging him to a secluded corner. I am grateful that it is early evening.

"No...Absolutely not... Not until you have gained you strength..." He is adamant and it makes me sigh.

"Fine...Perhaps we should visit my Mother," I suggest.

"I thought you might want that... Let's go. She is going to be pleased," he says.

"Later?" I murmur, skimming my fingers up and down his chest.

"Maybe," he replies, slipping his arm around my waist and we slowly head in the direction of Gamlen's house.

-o0o-

We are at the table eating the meal Mother prepared for us. It is her famous soup and I am enjoying every mouthful. I glance at Anders and he has a smile of contentment on his face. It is enough for me to lean across the table for his hand and he entwines our fingers and he rubs his thumb along my knuckles in a soothing way. I smile quietly to myself and I look at my Mom.

"Mari, I've heard from your brother..." she says. I drop my spoon, having lost my appetite. I stand and wander over to the window.

"What is it to me, Mom?"

"He...Mari, he has sent in an application to join the Templar Order," she replies.

"So, they take criminals now?" I mutter.

"And he is going to be released next week. For good behaviour," she replies.

I scoff. "Good behaviour? That is laughable. He does not know the first thing about good behaviour."

"He will be returning home until he has heard from the Order," she says.

"Then don't expect me to visit, Mom, because I won't," I inform her as I turn around.

"Mari," calls Anders.

"What? You know how I feel about him, Anders... I won't come back here. You can't expect me to."

He stands. "Please come here, sweetie," he murmurs, holding open his arms and I fly into them. He wraps them securely around me and kisses my hair.

"I don't expect that from you... Just don't push your Mother away... You need her, Mari, just as she needs you... Think about her," he murmurs.

"But what if he hurts me?" I murmur.

"Then I will deal with him," he replies.

"Really and how would you intend dealing with him?" I ask as we sit at the table to finish our meal. My Mother returns with two mugs of tea. I eagerly reach for mine and it tastes so refreshing.

"Thank you," I whisper.

"Any progress with work?" she asks.

I sigh. "We have made thirty sovereigns thus far."

"Really? That is excellent news. Another twenty and you will be ready to venture into the _Deep Roads_..." She says as she looks at Anders. I frown. I know what she is going to ask him.

"Leandra, I am not going to lie to you... The _Deep Roads_ are...dangerous," he says.

"Mari, you know how dangerous the darkspawn are you. They killed Bethany. They killed Ser Wesley and now you are going to venture into the very place..." she trails away.

"Mom, I have no choice and I am doing it because I love you and I want to give you the life you deserve. I don't want you to live here, even though Gamlen is hardly here and he hasn't been since we moved in."

"That is because he spends his time at the _Blooming Rose_ and sometimes he spends his time at the _Hanged Man_ and I feel he is feeling irritated with me for staying here, but what else am I supposed to do?" she asks.

"Mom, have you secured an appointment with the Viscount?" I ask, thinking it would be better to change the subject and I am pleased. She smiles warmly at me.

"You have?"

"Not yet, but I am getting there... I think our chances will be better after your expedition," she replies.

"Why do you say that, Mom?"

"Because I can only get an audience with the Viscount after you have returned," she replies.

"Why not now?" I ask, leaning back in my chair.

"We need the sovereigns to back up our claim, Mari; otherwise, I won't be able to see him. It doesn't seem fair because the Amells were well-thought of in this city," she says.

"Mmm...Until a mage was born into the family. A mage whom Anders knew whilst in the Fereldan Circle," I inform her.

"What? Anders? What is she talking about?"

He has a sip of his tea. "I knew an _Amell_ during my time in the Circle. Her name was Solona...Solona Amell."

"Really? She is my cousin, Revka's, child. Do you have any idea how shocked the family was when she first showed signs of magical talent? She was ten, Mari... My family was so horrified that an _Amell_ child was born with magical talent, they took her to the _Circle,_ not even giving the templars a chance to find her."

I glance anxiously at Anders who has tightened his hand into a fist. His fist is so tight, the knuckles are white and for some reason, I look into his eyes. His irises are blue. I quickly glance at his hands and white energy is seeping from his skin. I reach over and grab his hand with both of mine and I massage it in slow, soothing circles.

He takes a deep breath. "Leandra that was a good thing her mother did for her. It was far better than what I experienced when the templars came for me when I was twelve."

"Wh-What happened?" she asks.

"The templars shackled me as if I was a criminal. They dragged me away from my Mom. I...I have never seen or heard from her again. I used to care, but eventually I stopped caring. What was the point?" he replies. I stare into his eyes. I don't care what he has just said, but the pain is evident in his eye, his tone of voice and his face.

"Anders... I had no idea... Mari never mentioned this to me before," she says.

"That is because he has only recently told me, Mom... We have only being seeing each for two months..." I remind her.

"And it is the happiest I have seen you, Mari... So you knew Solona?" she asks Anders. He is still tense and I know exactly what will help him. I stand, only to settle myself on his lap. He wraps his arms around me and gives me a quick kiss.

"Thank you, love... Yes, I knew Solona. She was fourteen when I joined the Circle. She had black hair and green eyes and strangely enough, Mari resembles her. She was bubbly, spontaneous and a lot of fun to be around and she had a wicked sense of humour," he replies.

My Mom smiles at him. "Sounds like you were more than _good friends_."

He laughs. "We had a short, unsatisfactory fling. We ended it after a few short weeks."

"What happened to her?" she asks as she collects our empty bowls and mugs.

"A blood mage, Jowan, needed her assistance to access the repository in the Circle basement. He wanted access so that he could destroy his phylactery... He claimed to be in love with a Chantry sister, Lily... They asked Solona to get a lightening rod... Mages use rods like that for research purposes. She went to First Enchanter Irving and told him what Jowan intended," he explains.

"What's a phylactery, Andy?" I ask.

"When a mage joins the Circle, a sample of the said mage's blood is drawn and sealed in a phylactery. In that way, a mage can always be tracked and returned to the Circle," he replies.

"But that means they have yours, Andy," I whisper.

"I...I know that...They will never find me Mari and if they should, I won't go without a fight," he murmurs.

"Never-mind that Mari... I want to know more about Solona," says Mother.

"Well, the First Enchanter told her to follow through with Jowan's outrageous plan. He was afraid of being made Tranquil. Solona passed the _Harrowing Ritual_ without any problems..." he continues.

"What is the _Harrowing Ritual_?" I ask.

"Oh love, it is a test every mage apprentice goes through to see if they can resist... And don't be alarmed, Mari..." he murmurs.

"What? Why would I be alarmed?"

"Love, the _Harrowing Ritual_ is a test to see if a mage can resist demons and their offers. It also tests your willpower as a mage," he replies.

"But-?" I trail away. He has pressed his thumb against my lip.

"Jowan was concerned that he would be subjected to the _Rite of Tranquility_. Lily found out that he in fact was going to be made Tranquil. The Circle Seniors, the First Enchanter and the Knight-Commander all suspected he was...dabbling in Blood Magic... He denied it of course... So Solona agreed to follow through with Jowan's request at the behest of First Enchanter. Needless to say when they emerged from the Repository after fulfilling Jowan's request, the Knight-Commander attempted to arrest him... Jowan used blood magic... He injured Solona, the Knight-Commander and First Enchanter... Lily was shocked. She really loved him, Mari and all along he was dabbling in blood magic. He escaped and they never found him again and as for Lily, we don't know what happened to her and as for Solona... Duncan of the Grey Wardens was at the Circle looking for new recruits...He offered to recruit Solona... She accepted... She didn't have much of a choice. The punishment for a mage assisting a blood mage was the _Rite of Tranquility_. She opted to leave with Duncan and I have never seen or heard from her again."

"But you are a Grey Warden, Anders. Surely?" asks Mother.

"I don't know where she was stationed, Leandra. I was stationed at _Vigil's Keep_ in _Amaranthine_. I don't know where she is... She might be stationed elsewhere in _Thedas_... Maybe W_eisshaupt_... I don't know," he replies.

"Andy, does it bother you that I am a blood mage?" I whisper. I hold my breath, fearing his answer.

"What? Where does this come from, Mari? I...love...you...and that is what is important. I won't deny that I am sceptical about blood magic, but you are not like other mages, love. Your heart is so pure, Mari... That is the difference between you and most blood mages out there and the fact you don't lust after power...You just want to be...Mari...You just want to be...Mari, he murmurs.

"Andy, I am so afraid that you will leave me because of it..." I whisper.

"I will never leave you unless circumstances make it so... Mari," he murmurs as he tightens his arms around me.

"Excuse me, you two... I am going to make some more tea for us," says Mother. She gathers everything and heads into the kitchen.

"I am sorry, Andy," I whisper.

"Don't be, love... I won't leave you, I promise... Now where is that beautiful smile that lights up your beautiful face?" he teases. I smile for him and he returns my smile just as he pulls me in for a kiss. I mold my lips to his, deepening our kiss and he makes a small sound of approval. I feel his hand on my breast before I realise what he is doing. I smile as I skim my fingers along his chest. He trails his hand along my side and he slides it under my blouse. I shiver at the unexpected touch of his fingertips against my skin and chuckles softly. I curl my hand around the nape of his neck as I loosen the first button of his shirt and he smiles against my lips as he gently seeks entrance. I open for him and he claims my mouth as his own. I loosen the second button of his shirt and then the third. I slide my hands along his chest until I curl my hands over his shoulders. Our kiss intensifies as does my yearning for the completion only he can give to me. The thought makes me smile and as I am about to unbuckle his belt, I notice my Mom returning with two cups of tea...and I sigh.

"Love?" he murmurs.

"Later," I reply as button his shirt closed. I reluctantly slip off his lap and I wander towards the window. I can't believe it is so late. It must be nearly eight pm and I realise we will more than likely spend the night here and the thought comforts me. It will please my Mom that we are staying for the night.

"Hey," he murmurs as he places his hands on my shoulders.

"Andy, I think it would be best if stayed here for the night... What do you think?"

"Mmm...I don't mind... Your Mother will be pleased," he replies.

"I know...I should tell her," I murmur.

"Tell me what, Mari?" she asks.

I turn around. "May we spend the night here?"

"Oh Mari... Of course you may. You really don't have to ask. This is your home to," she replies, smiling.

"Home...I like the sound of that, Mom... Imagine how we are going to feel when we reclaim the family estate. To be honest, the thought of us living under one roof... Well, I look forward to it," I murmur.

"And you will move in with me?" I ask.

"Mmm...If you want me to, then my answer is _yes_," he replies.

I swat him on the arm. "Anders, of course I want you to... I want to be with you, always."

"I've always wanted a home, a wife and children," he murmurs.

"Really? Is there something you would like to tell me?" I tease. He leans closer and whispers in my ear. I can barely contain my excitement.

"But, love, there is something you should know," he says as he pulls away from me. He reaches for my hands. "Mari, I don't know if we will be able to have a child... To my knowledge, Grey Wardens can't have children after the _Joining Ritual_... I don't want you to become too hopeful," he says softly.

I look away from him. It was just the other day I was thinking about having his child. I swallow...hard and bite back my tears.

"But I thought... Anders, are you saying we..." I can't even find the words to express what I want to say.

"We...might not be able to have children, Mari...I...I am sorry... I should have told your sooner... Shit," he murmurs, running his fingers through his hair. I realise he is upset and I quickly reach for his hands. He gives me a pained look before embracing me. "I am really sorry, love...I don't know if it will be possible, although," he says, entwining our fingers and leading us back to the table.

"Elyssa told us that one of her companions, Morrigan conceived... She and Alistair spent the night together on the eve of battle... Morrigan performed a ritual so that Elyssa and Alistair didn't die when they destroyed the Archdemon," he continues.

I frown. "I don't follow, Anders."

"Our oath is: _In peace, vigilance. In war, victory. In death...sacrifice_. A Grey Warden sacrifices his or herself to put an end to the Archdemon. You see, love, there are _Old God_ spirits that seek out darkspawn and it becomes the Archdemon. When a Grey Warden destroys an Archdemon, the _Old God_ spirit seeks out a new host, namely, the Grey Warden and the said warden, dies..." he continues.

"And where does Morrigan fit into all of this?" I ask.

"She spent the night with Alistair to conceive a child and with the death of the Archdemon; the _Old God_ spirit would seek out her unborn child, instead of taking the lives of Elyssa and Alistair. That is why they survived and after the battle, Morrigan left and she achieved her goal – a pregnancy and the spirit she wanted. No-one knows what become of her."

"It sounds like she was only after the spirit, Andy... What could she possibly gain from it?" I ask and I frown. Morrigan sounds familiar. I close my eyes and an image of Flemeth comes to mind and my eyes fly open.

"Andy, didn't Flemeth mention her daughter, Morrigan?"

He laughs. "I was wondering when you would remember...Yes...Yes she did."

"That means she is probably out there," I state.

"More than likely... She sounds just as dangerous as Flemeth," he says. I reach for my mug and have a sip of my tea. Does it really matter so much to have his child? I love him and I want him to myself for as long as possible. Is having a child that important? I glance at him and he appears to be deep in though. He is more than likely thinking about the same thing as me and the thought makes me smile. I reach over and brush is fringe out of his eyes. I like the rebel look, but it irritates him when his hair is all over the place. He give me a grateful smile as he reaches for my hand and he does something unexpected – he kisses each finger and I feel it in my stomach. I blush, and quickly look away from him. He seems to have forgotten that we are not alone and I catch my Mom's eye. She shakes her head and laughs.

"You remind me of myself when I first met your Father, Mari... It didn't take much from his side to have me blushing profusely," she murmurs.

"Oh Mom...You miss him... I am sorry I couldn't do more for him... I tried, Mom...I tried so hard to heal him. Even when everyone was in bed, I would get up and sit by his side trying to heal him... It...It never worked... I don't know why," I whisper.

"Oh Mari," she murmurs.

"You have no idea what his death did to me, Mom... I was a failure. I couldn't even heal my own Father and he died...He died because of me... The pain I experienced was unbearable, Mom, yet it didn't seem to matter. Not when I saw the disappointment and anger in your eyes every time I looked at you...And Carver... He never let me forget how much of a failure I was...The days after his death were lonely and painful for me..." My throat has closed up tightly and I have difficulty breathing. I blindly reach for his hand and he pulls me onto his lap and wraps his arms securely around me.

"Oh Mari... I had no idea..." she murmurs.

"Of course you had no idea, Mom... You were too busy grieving Father to take much notice. Beth was the one who noticed something was not right, but I wouldn't...I couldn't talk to her..." I continue.

"Is that why?" she murmurs.

"Yes..." I reply. I say nothing more. I don't need to because she knows the rest.

"And I have been less than a Mother to you since then...I am so sorry, Mari," she murmurs, gently touching my cheek.

"It's fine..." I murmur brushing my tears away.

"It's not, Mari... It won't be fine until you and I have overcome our differences and hopefully we will achieve some balance... I don't want to lose another child, Mari," she says.

"You won't... I don't intend going anywhere...And I need to go to bed," I murmur.

"It is late...Alright... I hope you both sleep well," she says.

"I am sure we will... Anders?" I murmur as I slide off his lap and reach for his hand.

"After you, my love," he murmurs.


	14. Salvation Book One Chapter Fourteen

_**Chapter Fourteen**_

I scowl at Fenris. He has not taken his eyes off me since we joined him, Varric, Isabela and Merrill at our usual table in the tavern.

"What are you looking at?" I ask after another minute passed without him looking away from me.

"You...I find you very attractive," he replies and before I realise it, Anders has jumped out of his seat and he lunged for Fenris, hitting him square in the jaw. I gape at him. He has shown jealousy before, but not at this level, but then again it is the first time we are all sitting together. Anders and I preferred sitting at our own table, away from everyone else.

"What was that for, Mage?" asks Fenris as he massages his jaw.

"She belongs to me, Fenris..." he replies.

He laughs. "Really?"

Anders glares at him and he is about to hit him again, but I reach for his hand. He whirls around, pulls me to my feet and he drags me onto the dance-floor.

"Dance with me," he murmurs.

"You know I will, but was that really necessary?" I ask.

"He was making a pass at you, Mari..." he replies.

"Love, I know that, but you know I love you... You shouldn't feel threatened," I murmur.

"Oh Mari, I know that...and I am sorry..." he whispers.

"Hey, I forgive you, Andy... My heart is yours. It has been since we met four months ago," I murmur.

"Four months today...I think the Maker every day for bringing you into my life," he whispers.

"Since when do you believe in the Maker?"

"Mmm...I don't...But I do thank him... Another two months and we will be in the Deep Roads. All you need is another ten sovereigns," he says. He tightens his arms around me as we sway in the middle of the dance-floor.

"I am sure we will find the balance of the sovereigns fairly quickly...," I murmur.

"I hope so, Mari...At least Varric gave you sovereigns after our disastrous task that Javaris got us involved with...It was thoughtful of him to compensate you for your trouble," he says.

"I was...surprised to say the least when he pushed the coin purse into my hands and it wasn't even his fault, Andy..."

"At least it has brought us closer to our goal..."

"I like that, Anders. It is no longer you or me... It's us... What's mine is yours," I murmur.

"Us, Mari... I love you," he murmurs and as he is about to kiss me, he tenses.

"Get behind me, Mari," he murmurs. He does not give me a chance to breathe when he has shoved me behind him. I grip his arms and peer over his shoulders and my heart drops. Carver is striding towards us as arrogant as ever and he looks angry, but why?

"Not another step, Carver," warns Anders and for the first time, I notice the silence in the tavern and I warily look around. Everyone is watching us.

"Out of my way, mage... She is my sister," he snarls.

"I don't care if she is your sister, Carver, you are to keep away from her, you understand? If you don't you will find yourself a prisoner in the Keep dungeons again," he says.

"I would like to see you try... Get out of my way," he says.

"No..." says Anders. He is trembling so much, my teeth are chattering and I am tempted to wrap my arms around him because it is the only way he is going to calm down.

"She doesn't belong to you, Anders," he says.

"She does, in fact, belong to me, Carver... And if you don't back off, I will report you to the City Guard. Do you really think I am going to allow you to come near her after the way you beat her?"

"Really? Does she know she belongs to you or are you just saying that?" he asks.

I step in front of Anders and I fold my arms. "It might interest you to know that I do belong to him, Carver. You have no claim on me anymore... Not that you had a claim on me in the first place."

"Look at you... So brave. You weren't so brave that night, Marian. You screamed and cried as child, begging and pleading me to stop," he says softly. I feel the colour drain from my face and I swallow hard.

"I...I don't remember," I whisper, turning around and looking at Anders who is barely keeping control of his anger.

"How did you find me?" I whisper, turning around to look at Anders.

"I...I... You were barely conscious... You couldn't put two words. I hardly recognised you... That is how badly beaten you were," he replies, shoving me none too gently behind him. He steps forward, clenching his fists.

"No, love, please...don't, Anders... Please? He is not worth the trouble," I murmur, grabbing his arms and pulling him away from my brother who is ready to throw a few punches.

"Love, please...please calm down," I whisper.

"I...can't, Mari. He hurt you...And now that he is a free man... Love," he murmurs, turning around and in front of me, Carver lunges for him. He grabs him around the neck and drags him away from me. Anders twists himself and shoves my brother backwards. He approaches my brother, fists drawn and as he stands, Anders uppercuts him. Carver is outraged.

"You bloody mage bastard," he yells as he swings his arm. I can't watch this and I quickly step between the two of them and I take the full strength of Carver's punch. My neck whiplashes and blood spurts from my nose. My ears are singing and I see stars. I stagger backwards, lose my balance and I fall into the arms of Anders.

"Mari, why?" he whispers in a voice full of pain.

"I...I love you, Anders," I whisper. I close my eyes and my dark place is within reach. I want it to take me away from everything. It would be far better than having to tolerate Carver and his irrational jealousy.

"Let me go, Andy," I whisper.

"No...No...I can't...I won't let you, Mari..." he murmurs. I feel his fingers along my jawline. I open my eyes and briefly make eye contact with him, before closing them again.

_It is so dark and cold and all I see is swirling darkness sucking me in. I want to go... I follow the path until it diverges. I want to take the left path, but a man is on the right path coming towards me. I expect it to be Anders, but as he comes closer, I recognise the stance and posture and I recognise the face. I dare not hope as I walk towards him. He stops and waits for me to join him and when I do, I can't believe it._

"_Daddy?" I whisper, gazing into his eyes that are so similar to mine._

"_Mari..." he replies, holding out his hand. I take it. It is so warm and familiar._

"_What are you doing here?" I murmur._

"_Sweetie, you need to let go of your guilt and the way you feel about my death and you need to teach your brother a lesson," he replies._

"_I can't... I am afraid of him," I whisper._

_He sighs. "You have to, Mari, otherwise it is going to destroy you... And why did you choose the path you chose?"_

"_I...It was may fault you died. I didn't try hard enough. I didn't heal you as I should... My pain was unbearable. There was no other way for me to find a release..." I explain._

"_But you know how dangerous it is, Mari... Don't let it consume you..." he says._

"_It won't consume me... I seldom use it, but it is in moments like these, when Carver, hurts me. The pull is too great... It overwhelms me at times," I explain._

"_Don't let it, Mari... It is not worth it... Remember who you are, Mari... Remember what I taught you. Magic must serve that which is best in you, not that which is most base. Remember..."_

"_Daddy, please don't go... Daddy...Daddy!" But it is too late. He has faded away, leaving me on the path that will lead me home... Home, I think... Anders!_

"Anders! Anders!" I shout as I bolt upright, but overwhelming dizziness forces me to lie back down.

"Thank the Maker," he murmurs. I smile at the familiarity of his voice and I manage to open my eyes. I look around and there are so many faces watching me and I panic.

"Andy, make them go away... Andy, please," I whisper, clawing at his hands that are gently restraining me.

"Mari, breathe...Just breathe," he murmurs as he gently helps me into the sitting position. I cling to him as he wraps his arms around him, cradling me into his body.

"Everyone, out of my way." I look up, startled at the anger in her voice. I nervously dart my eyes around the tavern and they rest on Carver's cold and impassive blue ones. I shiver and I look away. He hates me. _What did I ever do to him?_

"Is she going to be alright?" asks Aveline. I look at her and smile weakly at her. _When did she get here?_

"And where is the bastard?" she asks.

"He...He left," says a patron.

"He won't get very far. My men are waiting for him outside," she says. The words have no sooner left her mouth, when I hear him curse and I hear flesh hitting flesh...Everyone crowds out of the tavern to investigate and I breathe a sigh of relief.

"Aveline," I whisper.

She kneels next to me. "Hey, I am here. Your face... I don't believe it... What happened?"

"He wanted to hit Anders, so I stepped between them and I took the full force of his punch," I reply, as I tentatively examine my face.

"Don't, Mari," murmurs Anders as he brushes my fringe back. He places his hand on my forehead. "Close your eyes, sweetie," he murmurs. I do as he asks and a familiar tingling sensation spreads itself from my face to the rest of my body. I open my eyes. He is concentrating. He is healing me. I feel the pain fade... At least it is not broken and I laugh, but not for long, because my jaw twinges rather painfully and I frown.

"So you protected Anders? Why am I not surprised?" she asks.

"What? Was I supposed to leave it? How could I? I love the man and I don't want anything to happen to him, Aveline?"

"Mmm...I don't doubt that, but it was noble of you...Protecting the man you love from the likes of Carver... He won't trouble you anymore, Marian... I am going to speak to the Knight-Commander... I hear she is looking for new recruits... I am not pleased about the thought, but I have no positions available for him and besides..." she trails away.

"Besides what, Aveline? Besides the fact that he is betraying my Mom and me by choosing the Templar's life? Do you think my life is going to be any easier? I doubt that... I don't trust him and I don't know where his loyalties lie, but where do I go from here?"

"Mmm...That's easy. Go home with Anders and I will deal with Carver... I don't think Leandra is going to be pleased that he hit you... He has a chip on his shoulder, Mari... I don't know what issues he has, but he needs to grow up and act like a man. Not a little boy who covets the thing he wants the most, but he can't get it," she says.

"Ah home," I murmur, gazing up at Anders. He smiles at me before kissing my forehead.

"Let's got out of here, love, before any further damage is done... A hot cup of tea and some you and me time... How does that sound?" he asks as he assists me to my feet. I sway, but he wraps a strong arm around my waist.

"I don't know about _you and me time_, but the rest sounds promising," I reply.

"Mmm...What am I going to do with you?" he murmurs.

"Surprise me," I reply.

We are outside the tavern door after having said our goodbyes to everyone. It is a beautiful evening and despite my throbbing jaw, I am excited about what he has planned for us. We link hands as we slowly stroll thought _Lowtown_, only stopping once to share a kiss before we descend the stairs into _Darktown_.

-o0o-

I study my reflection in the small mirror above the basin. My face is bruised...again and there is dried blood around my nose. I want to laugh, but my jaw is throbbing slightly and I have a slight headache. I can't believe my brother attempted to attack Anders. What is wrong with him? He was angry with me for a reason I don't understand, except that he is jealous of me or is it because I am involved with Anders? It can't be because he showed his aggressive tendencies towards me when we were still in Lothering and it all started after my Father's death and I clutch the basin as pain sweeps through me, wringing me out completely. I simply cannot understand why he hates me so much as if my Mother needs this in her life... I am relieved he is joining the Templar Order, perhaps with him out of the way; we can make a comfortable home for the three of us. The thought makes me smile, even though it is...painful for me to smile at the moment.

I wander to the door and open it just enough for me to stick my head out. Anders is at his desk, writing and I shake my head. I don't know what he writes about, but it keeps him very busy. He appears relaxed from where I stand and as I watch, he runs his fingers through his untidy hair. It is in desperate need of care. I smile to myself as I head back to the basin and fill it with water. I throw in a few drops of lavender essence and I breathe in the smell of it. It soothes me. I am still smiling as I reach for the cloth, dip it in and gently wash my face. The essence seeps into my skin, easing me of the pain and I am able to smile and laugh as I once again study my now-wet face in the mirror. The water is dripping from my eyelashes and off my nose and my fringe is wet. I gently shake my head, splattering the water all over the mirror. I close my eyes with the intention of splashing water onto my cheeks, when he slips his arm around my waist and nuzzles my neck. I turn around in his arms and lean against the basin.

"Mmm...You missed a spot," he murmurs, taking the cloth from me and gently washing my face. I lift my hand and touch his hair.

"It needs tender loving care," I murmur.

He shakes his head and his hair tickles my nose. "I like it the way way it is."

"No, you don't...," I murmur. I stretch towards him...and pause. I curl my hand around the nape of his neck and I kiss him. He skims his fingers along my arms, causing goose-flesh to appear on my skin. He moves closer and presses himself into me as he entwines our fingers.

"Mmm...It does irritate me sometimes, but not tonight," he murmurs, trailing kisses away from my mouth. He finds his way to my neck and I take a deep breath. I know what he is going to do next...He grazes his teeth along the hollow of my neck and I sigh. He smiles against my neck.

"Andy," I murmur, releasing his hands so that I can tug his shirt free of his pants and I slip my hands underneath it. I smile because he is so warm. I skim my fingers along his stomach. His muscles ripple and tense beneath my fingertips and it makes me smile because of the effect I have on him.

"Mmm," he murmurs.

"Andy, I saw my Father," I whisper as I gently push him away. I loosen the buttons of my blouse because I feel too hot and I need something to drink.

He frowns as he smacks my hand away. "When?" he murmurs, unbuttoning my blouse with deft fingers.

"When I was out for that short period of time after Carver hit me... My dark place called to me, Andy... Anders, the dream or nightmare or whatever you wish to call it... I prefer to call it a _nightmare_... It is the same dream... I am on path. The path diverges, one to the left, one the right. The path to the left leads to a barren wasteland covered in a swirling black mist whilst the path to the right, leads to a place of light and happiness. The left path is what calls to me when I am distressed... It is where I find myself most nights...There are others on that path... There are...voices and none of them are friendly... It frightens me," I whisper, walking away from him and sitting on the bed.

He sits next to me and reaches for my hand. "The Fade – that is where you find yourself each night?"

"Yes... Tonight, I saw my Father on the path leading to the right. We spoke. He told me I must remember who I am... He also reminded me of his motto:

_Magic must serve that which is best in me, not that which is most base_.

What does it mean, Anders? Because I have been trying to figure it out for years," I murmur.

"He taught you that? Isn't it obvious what it means? It means you must use your magic to the best of your abilities, but I don't see where that fits in with blood magic..." he replies.

"Why does it always come down to blood magic, Anders? I don't use it unless I have to, yet you keep on referring back to it... Is it a problem?" I stand and wander towards the door.

"Mari, don't you realise the risk? You could lose yourself to it. You could die because of it and I don't want to see the woman I love losing herself to blood magic. I know you didn't perform any ritual with demons, however, from what you have just told me, they are there waiting for the moment to strike and love, when they do, I...I won't be able to save you," he whispers.

"But why would I lose myself, Anders? Am I such a terrible person?" I whisper as I slide to the floor. I draw my legs up to my chest and I wrap my arms around them. I feel so small and vulnerable...and helpless and I want his understanding.

"It is no better than you and Justice, Anders... He might grow stronger. You might not be able to fight his influence... How do you think I feel when I think about that? This isn't about you or me, anymore. It is about you and me as a couple who love each other... Or so I thought," I trail away. I know those words are going to hurt him. I don't look at him when I hear his sharp intake of air.

"So this is what it comes down to? You are free to leave, Mari..." he barely whispers. I swallow...hard. Why would I want to leave? I love him. I don't want to be anywhere else except here.

"Why would I leave, Anders?" I murmur.

"Because you clearly don't love me in the same way I love you, otherwise you wouldn't have said what you said... You can go... I won't stop you," he replies. I look up and glare at him.

"Why in the Maker's name would I leave the man I love so completely?" I stand and approach him. I kneel in front of him and reach for his hands.

"Anders, I love you... I don't want to leave... Shit, the only place I can see myself is with you...For the rest of my life... If it wasn't something I wanted, I would not have marked you in the same you said you wouldn't make love to me otherwise."

He gives me a pained look. "Why are we arguing? I don't want to argue with you, Mari..."

"Then don't... I love you, Anders. If you had to ask me to marry you now, I would say _yes_," I murmur, entwining our fingers.

"Then marry me," he murmurs.

"Hey, I would prefer something a bit more romantic," I tease.

"But you just said-" he trails away.

"Anders, don't be such an arse... Of course I will marry you... I want to... I just didn't realise that until now..."

He smirks. "You called me an _arse_... Do you want something from me?"

I blush. "Anders, you would think that..." I murmur. I recall our afternoon on the mountain and I feel rather flustered all of sudden.

"We never did make love in the water," I murmur.

"I know..." he murmurs as he pulls me to my feet. He then tugs me onto his lap and he eagerly kisses me. He skims his hands along the curve of my back to the waistband of my pants and he slides them along my buttocks. I divest him of his shirt and with a long sigh, I press myself into him and I nestle. He is so warm and comforting.

"So, is that a _yes_?" he murmurs.

"Yes..., but we need to tell my Mom, Anders," I murmur.

"Love, can we tell her after the expedition?" he asks.

"Yes...Yes we can," I murmur. He kisses my hair and then he changes position so that I am sitting with my back to him. I can't prevent the thrill of excitement coursing through my body. I lean into him and he kisses my neck as he pushes off my pants. I kick them off once they are passed my knees. I twist slightly towards him and he tilts my chin towards him and he kisses me. It is gentle at first, but it deepens and before I realise it, he has lain me back against the pillows. He clasps my hands and holds them above my head. He leans towards me and lightly kisses me, only to pull away.

"Andy," I whisper, wrapping my legs around his hips and pulling him closer.

"You are so beautiful and you are mine," he murmurs. I close my eyes and arch my back towards him. I feel him...there.

"Sweet Maker, love," I murmur, arching towards him a second time. I need him to love me. I don't care about my slightly throbbing jaw. I need him to love me in the only way he knows how.

"Please love me, Andy. Make me yours," I whisper. He releases my hands and I am able to curl my arms around his muscular back and I bring him closer until I feel his chest hairs tickling me. I travel my hands along his back to his firm buttocks, curling my hands over them and giving him a gentle nudge. I shiver as he slides effortlessly into me. I close my eyes, feeling complete at his possession of me and all my fears are pushed to the far reaches of my mind as he makes love to me.


	15. Salvation Book One Chapter Fifteen

_**Chapter Fifteen**_

_**Somewhere far beneath the Free Marches...**_

"I cannot believe Bartrand has betrayed us... And for what?" I turn away from the door that is as unyielding as it was a moment before. I glance around the room – it is beautiful with stone pillars with markings of some sort. I assume it is a dwarven language, but I cannot be too sure. There is an altar in the middle of the room, and until a short while, it was home to an idol crafted from pure lyrium. I shiver. It was unpleasant handling the idol. It made a strange humming sound and it glowed red as soon as I retrieved it. I couldn't wait to get rid of it because it made me feel...strange. I glance at Anders who is frowning and he is angry.

"The bastard, Mari... My own brother. He only wanted the idol. He used us to get to it and now we are trapped... The bastard... If I see him again, I will... Shit," murmurs Varric.

"I think we should sit and think about finding a way out of here," says Aveline. I am relieved she is taking charge of the situation. I am too exhausted to think straight and the thought of curling up to next to Anders sounds most welcoming. I catch his eye as he walks towards me. I meet him half-way and he reaches for my hand.

He brushes my fringe back and smiles. "Love, we will find a way out of this maker-forsaken place...and you look...tired."

"I am...And that idol, when I touched it... I don't know... It frightened me, Andy... It felt... It frightened me..." I whisper.

"Mmm...You felt it to?" he asks, leading me away from Aveline and Varric who now in deep discussion about what to eat. I couldn't be bothered. I just want to curl next to Anders. I want to feel his warmth and reassurance.

I gape at him. "What? You...You felt what I felt?" I whisper.

"Yes...And it has unsettled me. I can't imagine why Bartrand would want something like that..." he says.

"Sovereigns, Andy... And I invested fifty sovereigns just so that he could trap us in here... It doesn't seem fair. I worked so hard to make the gold and now I have lost it all," I whisper...

-o0o-

_Two Weeks Earlier..._

"_So you want me to lead Ketojan out of Kirkwall?"_

_We are standing in an abandoned house and we are speaking to a Chantry Sister – Petrice. We found her in a Lowtown alley trying to fend off a couple of thugs which we discovered she set it up to be so, so that she could get someone worthy to fulfil her task. I was sceptical, but the offer of coin was not one I could refuse, so against my better judgement and the judgement of Anders and Aveline, we agreed to meet her in an abandoned house in the Old City Slums and here we are..._

"_Yes.." she replies._

_I frown. Ketojan is a Saarebas, what we would call a mage in our language. He is a Qunari. I remember when we first came across a Qunari Mage. He was extremely powerful and if I didn't use blood magic, we three would not be standing here now._

"_Do you have any idea how dangerous a Saarebas is?" I ask._

"_As you can see, he will be unable to do anything. Would a templar bind a mage like this? He is a survivor of infighting with their Tal-Vashoth outcasts. The Viscount and other's feel that peace begins with appeasement,. This mage would likely be returned to his brutal kin. He can serve a better purpose and I want him free. He must be guided from the city without alerting his people, or being seen in my care," she replies._

"_I have had dealings with the Qunari leader. He would want to know of this," I inform her._

"_You...You have dealt with the leader? If you have interacted with Qunari, you know how they treat those who leave their heathen order. The Arishok would doom this poor creature, but knowing them is useful. If they challenged you, attacking an ally would only confirm their barbarism, however, you are still right for the task," she says._

"_You don't just stumble on something...someone like this," I point out._

"_For all their blasphemous certainty, the Qunari do have deserters. Those who seek freedom are hunted mercilessly," she says._

_I glance at Ketojan. "Yet the Tal-Vashoth seems to accept their role."_

"_Even their rebels conform. Ser Varnell observed one of their bloody exchanges. This poor mage is the only survivor," she says._

"_And you think this mage is being hunted?" I ask._

"_I am certain no thinking creature would willingly submit to this. If he is not running before, he has seized the opportunity now," she replies._

"_If you are so intent on this, then why not use Chantry resources?" I ask._

"_My Order will soon realise the Qunari presence is more than a test of faith – it is an open challenge, but for now I must act on my own. Helping this mage shows how Qunari heresy cannot be ignored. His flight is vital," she replies._

"_Is freedom so helpful? A new life with that collar seems doubtful," I point out._

"_And yet is more than he has. My reach is limited and his struggle is his own," she says gazing him with obvious and open admiration._

"_It just seems like releasing a bird, cage and all," I murmur._

"_Well, we do what we can to step toward what is right. That must be enough," she says._

"_Will he help at all should we run into any trouble?" I ask._

"_I don't know what he is capable off or if he can function at all with that collar binding him, but I do think he knows we are his only way out," she replies._

"_You think?" I ask sceptically_

"_He has followed every direction and made no aggressive moves even when taunted. Were I in his place, I would have fled. Qunari or not, I can only assume he wants to be led to freedom," she replies._

"_And if you are wrong, then we have to deal with it?" I ask, realising that if we run into any trouble at all, we will have to deal with it and this annoys me. She wants us to escort Ketojan out of the city at our personal risk. Is it really going to be worth risking our lives for him?_

"_That is why I went to Lowtown. You are either capable of the discretion and skill that I need or you are not," she replies._

"_And yet you don't know who I am," I point out._

"_If you were important enough to know, then I would need someone else, but if you insist, what is your family name?" she asks._

"_Hawke. My family name is Hawke," I reply, deliberately leaving out my mother's maiden name._

"_Mmm...Strong...Very Fereldan. The Qunari have hardly pressured the southern nations. You have not seen as many converts, or those who refused. If this action – if any action – can lessen their influence, it must be done," she says._

-o0o-

We escorted Ketojan out of the city through the _Undercity Warrens_ only to be ambushed by Qunari as we exited the cave. They wanted to bring Ketojan in, but I refused and that resulted in a confrontation with the Qunari. After all of that, Ketojan died by his own hand. We returned to city, and confronted Petrice... We were paid well, of course. In fact we made more sovereigns than we initially thought. I gave the balance of the gold to my Mother.

"Mari, Aveline has just prepared us something to eat..." says Anders, breaking into my thoughts. I glance up at him and reach for his hands and I pull him down next to me.

"I was just thinking about Ketojan and Petrice, Andy... I still can't believe he took his own life. I suppose that was better than returning to the Qun."

"It was his choice, Mari...A choice you made possible. You could have easily handed him over to the Tal-Vashoth, but you gave him the choice to find his own path," he says.

I laugh. "That is what I told them, yet they still attacked us."

"I am grateful we had Aveline with us...We would not have been able to fend them off ourselves," he says.

"Mmm...I know. At least Petrice paid well, but I still feel we will see her again...," I whisper.

"Ah...Here you go," says Aveline handing us a cup of broth each and a slice of bread.

"Thank you...You are the best, Aveline," I murmur.

"Not really... I just know how to take care of people close to my heart," she murmurs.

"I can see that, but you have always taken care of people close to your heart," I remind her.

"You think? Donnic said as much before we left on this expedition," she informs me.

"There you go again... Donnic... Aveline, are you in love with the man?" I ask, dipping my bread into the broth.

She blushes. "I...I...Why do you have to be so direct, Marian?"

"Because sometimes it is the best way to get the truth out of someone," I reply, taking a bite of my bread. I close my eyes because it tastes so good.

"You think? I feel you want me to tell you because then I would be admitting it to myself... I don't think I am ready for that," she murmurs.

Varric laughs as he joins us. "I think that is another story I should work on...Even though I am not yet finished with my story about you and Anders.

"What is there to tell, Varric? We love each other. We enjoy spending time together. What more could you possibly tell stories about?" I ask.

"Mmm...Has he proposed?" asks Varric. I close my hand around my cup and look at Anders who has also stopped eating. There is silence as we all stare at each other.

"Well...," I murmur.

Anders reaches for my hand. "We have not discussed _marriage_ at all, Varric..."

"Really? If I am not mistaken, I think you have already asked for her hand," he points out.

"What does it matter to you? Because we marked each other on the day we met, Varric... It's some mage thing. A blending of two mage souls. It has only been known to occur between two mages," I explain.

"So what did you do?" he asks. I smile at his obvious interest.

"Why are you so interested, Varric? Do you wish to use it to embellish your stories?"

"No...I am curious..." he replies.

I glance at Anders shaking his head. He doesn't want me to tell them.

"It's private, Varric... I don't wish to tell you. All you need to know is that we marked each other...It's a lifelong bond, so in a way we are married," I explain, winking at Anders who grins at me before finishing off the rest of his meal. He stands, holding out his hands towards mine.

"You need to rest, love. Perhaps things will look up in the morning... Maker, we don't know what time of day it is so far below the surface we are," he says. I finish off my meal and take his outstretched hand.

"What does it matter? All I know is that I need to sleep," I murmur.

"Come, Mari," he says as he gently drags me away from Varric and Aveline who are watching us with mild amusement. He grabs our backpacks and leads me to an enclosed area where he drops out backpacks. We look at each for a short while with the air vibrating between us and I launch myself into his arms. He lifts me and swings me around before settling me back on my feet. He releases me to roll out the thin mattress we have been sharing since the first night in the the _Deep Roads _and I remove a blanket from my backpack and throw it over the mattress. It looks very comfortable and I want to sit, but he reaches for my hands.

"Mmm...I hope we find our way out of here tomorrow, Mari," he murmurs.

"I am sure there is another door, Anders, but I doubt it will lead us to the surface. I am not going to worry about it now... Come," I whisper as I loosen his buttons. I push his shirt off his shoulders and I kiss his chest. He sighs, threading his fingers through my hair. I pull back and kiss him full on the mouth. My lips mould to his as my tongue seeks entrance. He groans, parting his lips slightly to allow me entrance and I delve into him. He curls his hand over my buttocks and pulls me into him and with his other hand, he slowly unbuttons my blouse.

"Andy, come," I whisper. He wraps his arms around me and gently lowers me to the cold hard floor. I frown. "This going to be uncomfortable," I whisper.

"I know, but does it matter?" he murmurs as he unbuttons my blouse.

"No," I whisper, curling my hand around his neck and drawing him closer.

"Exactly," he murmurs as he kisses me.

-o0o-

"Good morning, Anders, Marian," Aveline greets us. My eyes shoot open and for a brief moment, I panic. I can't remember where I am. I glance nervously around until my eyes rest on Anders who is rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. It took a long time for us to fall asleep and I don't feel rested at all. In fact, I feel as if I have not slept at all although the grogginess of waking up tells me otherwise. I look up and into the green eyes of Aveline who is holding two mugs of...

"Tea?" I croak out as I eagerly reach for mine.

"Yes...I thought you would enjoy it... And I need the two of you to get up. Whilst you were, you know during the night, Varric and I found a door that was concealed by rubble. We cleared it away this morning and we ventured through the door," she explains.

I glance at Anders and I laugh. He is still trying to wake up. It is not fair. He has slept better that I have and I tell him so.

"Oh love, you know how it is... I always sleep well with you in my arms," he teases as he gently touches my cheek.

"But I feel so tired..." I whisper.

"Mmm...Did you have dreams, Mari?" he asks, concerned. I nod, vaguely remembering swirling mist, red lyrium idols and the cocky, almost arrogant face of Bartand as he shut the door behind him.

"Mmm...Then that is why... Let's get up and stretch our legs... Aveline, we will join you and Varric shortly," he says.

"Okay... Please don't take too long. Breakfast will be ready soon," she says, handing a cup of tea to Anders.

"Thank you," I murmur as I have a sip of tea. It tastes good, however it is not as good as Anders' tea.

-o0o-

_The day before leaving for the expedition..._

_Anders and I are spending the night with my Mother because she asked us to and because it is Carver's last day of...freedom before reporting for duty at the Gallows tomorrow morning. We have just sat down when she comes in with our supper of soup and bread. As soon as the delicious smell of vegetable soup wafts my way, I realise I am quite hungry. I grab my spoon as soon as she places my bowl in front of me. She serves Anders then Carver and then she sits opposite me. I catch her eye and I notice her brow is creased into a frown. I know why and I shift uncomfortably in my seat._

"_Mom, what is it?" I ask._

"_I am worried about you and Anders venturing into the Deep Roads tomorrow," she replies, and I glance at Anders who has put his spoon down. He reaches for her hand.._

"_Leandra, we will be fine... I have been into the Deep Roads before...and I won't deny the dangers especially with darkspawn hiding in ever dark corner and maker knows what else, but I am a grey warden...and I will sense or hear them before they realise we are there... I won't tell you not to worry, because you are going to worry regardless of what I say, but I will look after Mari..." he says._

"_Anders, you are...sweet and you have impacted her life so much in the short space of six months. I cannot believe how happy she is, although, she is...sad and almost withdrawn at times," she murmurs, glancing at me. I look away from her and continue eating my soup._

"_I wonder why that is the case," snarls Carver, and I throw my spoon onto the table and I stand._

"_At least I haven't betrayed my family unlike you, Carver..."_

"_Is that so? What do you call resorting to blood magic then? I believe they don't tolerate blood mages in the Gallows," he says._

"_Is...Are you threatening me, Carver?" I hiss._

"_It is a warning, Mari... What fun I could have teaching a blood mage a thing or two," he replies._

"_And what might that be, Carver? Beating them into a pulp to satisfy some primal urge?" I ask as I circle the table to stand directly behind him. I glance at Anders who is silently pleading with me not to do anything irresponsible. I look away from him and I look directly into my Mom's grey eyes..._

"_Mari, please, please don't do something rash," she murmurs. "I beg of you... When you return, you won't have to see him again because I certainly don't want to have anything to do with him until he learns where his loyalties lie... Carver, if you don't stop, I don't want to see you again... I will not have you keeping my daughter away from me. She has done nothing to you, yet you treat her unkindly... She made her choice... She is trying to reconcile with it and you are not making it any easier for her... Mari, please sit down... You are angry and hurt. Just sit down, please," she says as she holds her hand out towards me._

"_Mom, why does he treat me as such?" I whimper as she pulls me into the seat next to her. I instinctively seek out Andy's hand. He closes it over mine and gently squeezes it._

"_That is what I would like to know, but you are not going to tell us, now are you, Carver?" she asks._

"_You want to know why, Mom? I hate her and everything about her. I hate the fact that Father gave her so much attention, forgetting about me completely. I hate the fact that she couldn't even heal him... I hate her, Mom and she is a blood mage... You can't trust blood mages. All they want is power," he says. There is silence in the living room. Not even Mabari is barking._

_I stand. "I'm leaving..." And without a second glance, I walk out of the house. I sit on the stairs, wrapping my arms around myself. My Mother is yelling at him. I don't want to hear it, so I cover my ears with my hands. I don't realise I am crying until I taste the tears rolling down my cheeks and over my mouth..._

-o0o-

"Mari, what is it?" asks Anders as I feel his gentle fingers on my face. I am crying. I can't say anything because I feel sad and depressed. My brother hates me because of who I am. He hates me because I couldn't save our Father. He hates me because my Father went out of his way to spend as much as he could teaching Bethany and I about magic. It feels as if I have forgotten every vital lesson he ever taught me and this realisation hits me in the pit of my stomach. I stumble to my knees and cover my face with my hands. I am a failure and maker knows if and when we are going to find our way out of this dark hole.

"Mari?" he murmurs as he gently pulls my hands away from my face.

"Is she alright?" asks Aveline as she kneels beside me.

"Mari?" says Varric. He doesn't need to kneel because he is eye level with me. I can't find the words to express myself. I feel alone in this internal struggle of finding the balance between light and dark. Is anyone going to be able to keep me on the path of light or is it something I am going to have to overcome on my own?

"I...I don't know, Aveline... She hasn't been herself since she touched that blasted idol..." says Anders.

"Look at her, Anders... She is struggling with something," she says. I don't realise my hands are clasped tightly on my lap until she closes her hand over them.

"Sweetie, talk to me," he whispers. I shake my head. I don't want to talk to anyone now.

"No?" he says softly. I shake my head.

"Okay, but we need to keep moving," he murmurs. I nod and I allow him to pull me to my feet. I am about to turn away from him when he roughly pulls me into his arms and...kisses me...hard. I am...surprised and pleased and to my surprise, I respond enthusiastically. I curl my hand around the nape of his neck whilst I grab some of the material of his shirt with my hand. I pull him flush against me. I deepen our kiss. Our tongues meet in an intimate dance. He wraps his arms around me and lifts me slightly. I vaguely hear Aveline and Varric laughing as Anders moves away from them. I don't care where he is taking me. I don't care that we are deep below the F_ree Marches_. All I care about is this man who is my best friend and lover and he is determined to make me happy. He only releases me once we are away from the other two.

"Oh my, Andy," I murmur. I feel breathless. I lean against the rough wall to catch my breath, but he doesn't give me a chance to do that and he is kissing me...again, but this time it is with ardent passion. His hands are intimately caressing my thighs as they travel upwards. I grip his shirt, forcing him closer until he is tightly pressed into me. He tugs my blouse free and slides his hands along my skin, igniting every nerve ending. I shiver, but I am not cold. It is because of his touch and what it does to me. I lose myself in him, forgetting my sadness. I don't realise what he is doing until...

"Andy," I moan as he eases into me. He stills for a moment to brush my fringe back and kiss my forehead before slipping his arms around my waist. I have already wrapped my legs around his waist and I briefly wonder when I did that, but it doesn't matter because he presses his lips firmly against mine, and he slowly moves, sinking deeper into me. I tighten my arms around him and hang on for dear life as he slowly makes love to me. I realise I am crying and that is because he will do anything for me. It doesn't matter the choice I made... He loves me. He wants to marry me.

"Ssh, sweetie. I've got you..." he whispers by my ear. He rains kisses along my face and finally he seals his mouth over mine. The pressure is building. I am so tense with anticipation as to what is going to be quite an intense experience. As if understanding my thoughts, my stomach muscles tighten considerably as do the muscles deep within me. He groans as I pull him in further. I am shaking like a leaf and he is trembling so much I don't know how he can stand straight.

He breaks our kiss. "Let it go, sweetie... Let it go for me..." At his words so softly spoken, I shatter around him calling out his name.

"Mari," he murmurs as he finds his release in me. I want to laugh because I shouted his name and I am sure Varric and Aveline have heard me, but I don't care. He tightens his arms around me as he lightly kisses me.

"I love you..." he whispers.

I smile. "Andy, I love you more than life itself... I am just so scared that I will have to find my own way, alone..."

He kisses my forehead. "You don't have to, Mari... Because I will help you find your way..."

"Love, what did I do to deserve someone like you?" I murmur.

"You didn't do anything, love. We met... We connected...And I love you... I don't want you to forget that. No matter how difficult things may get or might seem to you, just remember that I love you," he whispers.

"Anders," I whisper. I lean towards him and give him a chaste kiss.

"Mmm...We should return to the others... We have a long way to go," he says as he gently sets me back to my feet. My legs feel rather wobbly and I clutch his arm for support.

"Steady," he whispers. I lean against the wall as he slowly buttons my blouse closed. I do the same to him and I straighten his shirt much to his amusement.

"What?" I murmur.

"You fuss too much, you know that," he replies as he straightens my blouse.

I laugh. "Speak for yourself, Anders."

He shakes his head, gives me another kiss and we link hands. We stroll back to where we left Aveline and Varric. We find them sitting around a small fire having something to eat and they are laughing. I give Andy a sidelong glance and he gives me an answering grin.

"Is there any room for us?" I ask.

Aveline looks up and grins. "Of course... Please sit... Have something to eat."

"Thank you," I murmur. I sit next to her with Anders and much to my amusement, he doesn't release my hand. He is stroking my knuckles with his thumb and it is so soothing. Any tension I may have felt, disappears and I feel much better.

"So, are you going to tell us what upset you so much?" asks Aveline.

"No... Not...now, Aveline..." I reply.

"I think I know what it is about, but Mari, he is out of the picture now and I have made an oath to protect you and your...Well, Anders," she says.

"Look, I know... But you didn't see him the night before we left, Aveline. He hates me... I can't get my head around it, but he hates me... His resentment is obvious, yet I don't understand why he resents me to the extent he does. He had a far better relationship with Bethany, despite her being a mage," I explain.

"They were twins, Mari... Perhaps that is why. You told me once that he dominated her into submission... What do you mean by that? Did he beat her? What did he do?" she asks.

"Just that, Aveline... He dominated her..." I whisper.

"That is very vague, Mari. What are you hiding and why do you want to protect him? He is a bastard, Mari... He only cares about himself..." she says.

"I don't want to speak about, Aveline... You figure it out..." I reply.

"Fine...Fine...I will let it rest," she says.

"Good..." I snap.

"Mari," murmurs Anders and I look at him.

"What? Are you going to bombard me with questions to?"

"Mmm...No... Just come here," he replies as he wraps his arms around me. "Relax...Take a deep breath..."


End file.
